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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did I do anything wrong here? Driving

1000 replies

Azzywhatty · 27/01/2025 13:48

I drove home from rural Northumberland today. On a single track road my sat nav fell out of its holder onto the passenger side floor. There was a lorry behind me. I continued along the single track road until it widened into two lanes, then indicated left, slowed down and stopped so I could pick it back up.

The lorry behind me beeped as I stopped. Did I do anything wrong here? I indicated and slowed and waited until the road went back to two lanes and it was safe to stop. I can’t work out why he was beeping.

There was no other traffic in either direction.

YANBU - you did nothing wrong
YABU - you did something wrong (what and why??)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
sandyhappypeople · 29/01/2025 23:29

HollyKnight · 29/01/2025 23:02

Lorries, yes. How else would they acknowledge you? It's not like they can hold their hand up for you to see through the rear window.

Annoyed people don't toot. They sound their horn.

Edited

If OP really thought it was a friendly toot.. why would she even post? I think it would be immediately obvious to anyone based on what has happened and the type of hoot what the lorry driver meant by it.

She posted because she assumed she had done something wrong and wanted to know what it could be.. so she thought he was unhappy with her.

I obviously can't speak for anyone else, but whenever a lorry says thank you to me with their horn, it would normally be a bip-bip type noise, I've never had one just sound their horn, 95% of the time they flash their hazards after they have gone in front of you.

HollyKnight · 29/01/2025 23:33

A bip-bip type noise? Like a toot-toot? Not a HOOOOOOOOONK!

Mapandthermos · 29/01/2025 23:33

HollyKnight · 29/01/2025 23:02

Lorries, yes. How else would they acknowledge you? It's not like they can hold their hand up for you to see through the rear window.

Annoyed people don't toot. They sound their horn.

Edited

Well, OP said beep actually. i was quoting a pp when I said toot 😁
Drivers usually use a quick flash of hazards to say thanks where I am. Using the horn would generally indicate annoyance…

(Edited to say I know that using hazards to say thanks is frowned uopn and not appropriate, but just reporting what actually happens when drivers want to thank a fellow driver in my experience.)

HollyKnight · 29/01/2025 23:43

Mapandthermos · 29/01/2025 23:33

Well, OP said beep actually. i was quoting a pp when I said toot 😁
Drivers usually use a quick flash of hazards to say thanks where I am. Using the horn would generally indicate annoyance…

(Edited to say I know that using hazards to say thanks is frowned uopn and not appropriate, but just reporting what actually happens when drivers want to thank a fellow driver in my experience.)

Edited

The OP was later asked if it was a quick toot or a long blast and she clarified it was a quick toot. We're talking about a lorry here, not Corsa. If a lorry is annoyed at you he (or she) will deafen you. You will definitely know the difference between a friendly toot and a FUCK YOU.

EthicsOnThePrecipice · 29/01/2025 23:47

Managed to read up to page 17. This thread is an excellent study in human behaviour/psyche. Even though the situation was clearly explained since page 1 and irrefutable facts straight from the Highway Code were quoted and thoroughly explained, a multitude of posters kept insisting that the OP was in the wrong. Quite similar to a flat-earther's mentality. Fascinating.

sandyhappypeople · 29/01/2025 23:47

HollyKnight · 29/01/2025 23:33

A bip-bip type noise? Like a toot-toot? Not a HOOOOOOOOONK!

have you never heard a bip-bip? it's quite a cute little noise, especially from big vehicles and it is perfectly obvious that it is a well intentioned noise. My delivery drivers do it all the time when they pull up or leave, or lorries that you let in to any traffic etc.

Any sort of honk to me is not good generally, unless it is an extremely brief bip.. but that's my experience (of honking other people generally). I think it would be obvious from whatever happened before it if they were thanking you or annoyed with you. Hazards are the lorry thank you of choice in my experience.

IMO a 'honk' is a minor annoyance.

A 'honnnnnkkkkkk' is a "what the fuck are you doing???!!!!"

denhaag · 29/01/2025 23:47

Yay....if we can have 45 posts about honk vs toot then the darn thread will be full!

sandyhappypeople · 29/01/2025 23:49

HollyKnight · 29/01/2025 23:43

The OP was later asked if it was a quick toot or a long blast and she clarified it was a quick toot. We're talking about a lorry here, not Corsa. If a lorry is annoyed at you he (or she) will deafen you. You will definitely know the difference between a friendly toot and a FUCK YOU.

You will definitely know the difference between a friendly toot and a FUCK YOU.

So why does OP think she has done something wrong then? Surely a quick friendly toot would have been perfectly obvious that he was saying thank you.

HollyKnight · 29/01/2025 23:59

sandyhappypeople · 29/01/2025 23:47

have you never heard a bip-bip? it's quite a cute little noise, especially from big vehicles and it is perfectly obvious that it is a well intentioned noise. My delivery drivers do it all the time when they pull up or leave, or lorries that you let in to any traffic etc.

Any sort of honk to me is not good generally, unless it is an extremely brief bip.. but that's my experience (of honking other people generally). I think it would be obvious from whatever happened before it if they were thanking you or annoyed with you. Hazards are the lorry thank you of choice in my experience.

IMO a 'honk' is a minor annoyance.

A 'honnnnnkkkkkk' is a "what the fuck are you doing???!!!!"

It wasn't a honk though. It was a quick toot. The OP didn't know what it meant which is why she was asking.

HollyKnight · 30/01/2025 00:01

sandyhappypeople · 29/01/2025 23:49

You will definitely know the difference between a friendly toot and a FUCK YOU.

So why does OP think she has done something wrong then? Surely a quick friendly toot would have been perfectly obvious that he was saying thank you.

She doesn't think she has done something wrong. That is why she is asking what his tooting was about.

HollyKnight · 30/01/2025 00:02

denhaag · 29/01/2025 23:47

Yay....if we can have 45 posts about honk vs toot then the darn thread will be full!

Edited

Working on it!

SoScarletItWas · 30/01/2025 06:05

i would add honk, bip and toot to my drinking game but it’s 6am, I’m still drunk from yesterday, I’ve even run out of that dodgy liqueur SiL brought back from Portugal ten years ago and someone said just said Highway Code so I’ve got to pop to the shop and get another bottle.

Mapandthermos · 30/01/2025 08:02

You forgot beep @SoScarletItWas 😂

NorfolkandBad · 30/01/2025 09:11

wakijaki09 · 29/01/2025 22:08

Let's reverse this as if it was the lorry driver posting shall we?

So I driving my lorry this morning at work, some woman driving along like she doesn't know where she's going. We go from a 30mph to a national speed limit so expect her to speed up to match conditions of the road. Instead she slows down, puts her indicators on even though there's no junction and then suddenly stops in the middle of the road for no reason I can fathom and starts mucking about in her car.
I can see to go around her but am annoyed that she's decided to park on the road and blocked the lane in front of me.
I beep my horn as she's causing an obstruction which is dangerous and then have to manoeuvre the lorry around her.
Aibu to have beeped?
Everyone with half a gram of common sense....no you weren't being unreasonable...
Everyone else..no it's totally fine to block the lane whilst she puts her lipstick on or whatever she likes ....
Groan!

and then 5 minutes later I wasn't sure where my drop off point was so I indicated and pulled over to the side of the road to check the address.

NorfolkandBad · 30/01/2025 09:16

EthicsOnThePrecipice · 29/01/2025 23:47

Managed to read up to page 17. This thread is an excellent study in human behaviour/psyche. Even though the situation was clearly explained since page 1 and irrefutable facts straight from the Highway Code were quoted and thoroughly explained, a multitude of posters kept insisting that the OP was in the wrong. Quite similar to a flat-earther's mentality. Fascinating.

My DP often laughs when I'm reading threads and talking about them - the mentality shown on this thread by so many posters permeates throughout MN, which is why I'm a very long time lurker but only a recent member and a semi-reluctant poster. Posters will often make things up to suit their narrative.

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 30/01/2025 09:22

wakijaki09 · 29/01/2025 22:08

Let's reverse this as if it was the lorry driver posting shall we?

So I driving my lorry this morning at work, some woman driving along like she doesn't know where she's going. We go from a 30mph to a national speed limit so expect her to speed up to match conditions of the road. Instead she slows down, puts her indicators on even though there's no junction and then suddenly stops in the middle of the road for no reason I can fathom and starts mucking about in her car.
I can see to go around her but am annoyed that she's decided to park on the road and blocked the lane in front of me.
I beep my horn as she's causing an obstruction which is dangerous and then have to manoeuvre the lorry around her.
Aibu to have beeped?
Everyone with half a gram of common sense....no you weren't being unreasonable...
Everyone else..no it's totally fine to block the lane whilst she puts her lipstick on or whatever she likes ....
Groan!

You could have posted this without the offensive some woman/lipstick comments.

BingoDingoDog · 30/01/2025 09:58

@wakijaki09

Well this is fun!

Here is my version of what the lorry driver thought ( with a lot less imaginary nonsense)

I was driving through the lanes today and when the road opened up the driver in front of me indicated, then slowed down and stopped at the side of the road leaving plenty of room for me to get by. As a professional driver I keep a good distance back from cars in front of me. I indicated and gave a thank you beep as I drove away.

How is that? Not as dramatic as your version but never mind

AnotherWeekAnotherUsername · 30/01/2025 10:05
Lets Go Beep Beep GIF by Portoroz & Piran

Is the thread full up yet????

MissHarlott · 30/01/2025 10:08

wakijaki09 · 29/01/2025 22:08

Let's reverse this as if it was the lorry driver posting shall we?

So I driving my lorry this morning at work, some woman driving along like she doesn't know where she's going. We go from a 30mph to a national speed limit so expect her to speed up to match conditions of the road. Instead she slows down, puts her indicators on even though there's no junction and then suddenly stops in the middle of the road for no reason I can fathom and starts mucking about in her car.
I can see to go around her but am annoyed that she's decided to park on the road and blocked the lane in front of me.
I beep my horn as she's causing an obstruction which is dangerous and then have to manoeuvre the lorry around her.
Aibu to have beeped?
Everyone with half a gram of common sense....no you weren't being unreasonable...
Everyone else..no it's totally fine to block the lane whilst she puts her lipstick on or whatever she likes ....
Groan!

Actually beeping the horn to show your annoyance is contrary to Rule 112 of the Highway Code.

As I'm an ex lorry driver, let's revisit the scene and see it from my perspective..

It's a single track road; not a single lane road. So there is nowhere to stop or pass other vehicles. It may be derestricted and subject to the NSL, but I'll wager that the visibility and the general road conditions do not warrant driving safely along at that speed. Even so, the OP becomes distracted by the phone falling onto the floor.

Driver distraction is a big cause of RTCs, so the OP does exactly what she is supposed to do: She waits until the road opens out so that it is wide enough for traffic to pass unimpeded, then indicates left and moves over as far as possible and stops.

She has done nothing stupid or illegal. In fact if she's distracted by the phone on the floor, the best and safest thing to do is to stop and recover and sort it out which is what she does.

I'm sitting much higher up in my cab and have a much better view of the road ahead, so pull out to pass the stationary vehicle, and to warn the driver I'm passing, I sound my horn. I might also flash my lights so she catches the 'blink' in her mirrors.

Judging by some of the comments in this thread I'm questioning how many have actually passed a driving test, or have any comprehension of hazard perception?

Here's a question for everyone here. How long have you been driving and when did you last look at a current copy of the Highway Code?

No need to reply, just go away and think about it truthfully, in the privacy of your own home

DazzlingCuckoos · 30/01/2025 10:20

MissHarlott · 30/01/2025 10:08

Actually beeping the horn to show your annoyance is contrary to Rule 112 of the Highway Code.

As I'm an ex lorry driver, let's revisit the scene and see it from my perspective..

It's a single track road; not a single lane road. So there is nowhere to stop or pass other vehicles. It may be derestricted and subject to the NSL, but I'll wager that the visibility and the general road conditions do not warrant driving safely along at that speed. Even so, the OP becomes distracted by the phone falling onto the floor.

Driver distraction is a big cause of RTCs, so the OP does exactly what she is supposed to do: She waits until the road opens out so that it is wide enough for traffic to pass unimpeded, then indicates left and moves over as far as possible and stops.

She has done nothing stupid or illegal. In fact if she's distracted by the phone on the floor, the best and safest thing to do is to stop and recover and sort it out which is what she does.

I'm sitting much higher up in my cab and have a much better view of the road ahead, so pull out to pass the stationary vehicle, and to warn the driver I'm passing, I sound my horn. I might also flash my lights so she catches the 'blink' in her mirrors.

Judging by some of the comments in this thread I'm questioning how many have actually passed a driving test, or have any comprehension of hazard perception?

Here's a question for everyone here. How long have you been driving and when did you last look at a current copy of the Highway Code?

No need to reply, just go away and think about it truthfully, in the privacy of your own home

MissHarlott - perfect summation!

(I bet you have some tales to tell from your lorry driving days!)

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/01/2025 10:44

Judging by some of the comments in this thread I'm questioning how many have actually passed a driving test, or have any comprehension of hazard perception?

I think it would actually blow the minds of some posters on here that nowadays the driving theory test includes a section on hazard perception and if you fail it, you fail your whole theory test.

DazzlingCuckoos · 30/01/2025 12:00

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/01/2025 10:44

Judging by some of the comments in this thread I'm questioning how many have actually passed a driving test, or have any comprehension of hazard perception?

I think it would actually blow the minds of some posters on here that nowadays the driving theory test includes a section on hazard perception and if you fail it, you fail your whole theory test.

https://www.safedrivingforlife.info/free-practice-tests/hazard-perception-test/?utm_source=gov.uk&utm_medium=website&utm_campaign=take-practice-theory-test

Free hazard perception test practice here. Happy to admit I got 11 out of 15 on it. A pass, but by no means perfect.

The theory test didn't exist when I passed my test (yes - I'm getting on a bit!)

https://www.safedrivingforlife.info/free-practice-tests/practice-theory-test-for-car-drivers-1-of-2/?utm_source=gov.uk&utm_medium=website&utm_campaign=take-practice-theory-test

This page has a free practice theory test too.

Given I've done no revision and passed my original test some 30 years ago, I just got 45/50.

Would be interesting to see what others get!

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/01/2025 12:07

The theory test didn't exist when I passed my test (yes - I'm getting on a bit!)

Same for me! I only know because my DD is learning to drive. A friend of hers has failed the theory test 5 times because she keeps failing either the hazard perception test or the other part! Judging by this thread I think the hazard perception test is absolutely vital for learner drivers.

Azzywhatty · 30/01/2025 12:55

DazzlingCuckoos · 30/01/2025 12:00

https://www.safedrivingforlife.info/free-practice-tests/hazard-perception-test/?utm_source=gov.uk&utm_medium=website&utm_campaign=take-practice-theory-test

Free hazard perception test practice here. Happy to admit I got 11 out of 15 on it. A pass, but by no means perfect.

The theory test didn't exist when I passed my test (yes - I'm getting on a bit!)

https://www.safedrivingforlife.info/free-practice-tests/practice-theory-test-for-car-drivers-1-of-2/?utm_source=gov.uk&utm_medium=website&utm_campaign=take-practice-theory-test

This page has a free practice theory test too.

Given I've done no revision and passed my original test some 30 years ago, I just got 45/50.

Would be interesting to see what others get!

10 on the hazard perception and 44 on the test.

OP posts:
Azzywhatty · 30/01/2025 12:55

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 30/01/2025 10:44

Judging by some of the comments in this thread I'm questioning how many have actually passed a driving test, or have any comprehension of hazard perception?

I think it would actually blow the minds of some posters on here that nowadays the driving theory test includes a section on hazard perception and if you fail it, you fail your whole theory test.

This was the case almost 20 years ago when I passed my test. It’s amazing to think that some drivers never had to do so.

OP posts:
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