Who is in the right here? Cost sharing argument

[JoelyJoe]

I would be very interested in people's opinions on this...

A large group are going on a ski holiday together. Different people are doing car shares to the airport.

Kate and Ben (couple), offer lifts to Gary and Simon (both single). Gary and Simon both have their own cars, and in reality would rather take one of those as Kate and Ben's is a bit ropey. But they don't want to be impolite, and accept the offer. Everyone is sharing costs for petrol and airport parking.

On the way back from the airport after the holiday, the car breaks down. Cue massive hassle, hours of waiting on the motorway for AA pick up. Kate and Ben don't have AA membership so want Gary and Simon to use one of their pick up allowances. They both refuse as they think Kate and Ben should have had their own cover for their car. Kate and Ben then have to pay full, non members price for pick-up, and want Gary and Simon to share the costs.

Again, they refuse, on the grounds that the car could have broken down at any time and it is not their responsibilty to cover their maintenance costs.

Kate is furious and sends an email a few days after the event saying how disappointed she is in them.

Gary and Simon are not budging, saying thay both have perfectly good cars of their own, which they pay to maintain and cover for breakdowns, and they should not be expected to cover Kate and Ben's expenses if they chose not to do this.

Who is right?
YABU - Gary and Simon were in the car, they should share the costs.
YANBU - Kate and Ben are responsible for their own car.

Agreed. I had my first lesson on ‘your car, your responsibility’ when I was 20 and went out for the day and drove 3 friends. We had trouble finding parking and a couple of them insisted it was fine to park on a road, which I expressed reservations about. I was overridden as they just wanted to get going with the shopping expedition.

We came back to a ticket on my car and I was really annoyed as they were all ‘awww’ but no one offered any money.

However, I knew that it was ultimately my responsibility so I didn’t say anything else and just paid it all.

They shot themselves in the foot though because I was much less willing to give free lifts after that and charged for petrol.

Are they all still friends out of interest @JoelyJoe ?

I wouldn't expect someone I was giving a lift to contribute to my vehicle recovery FWIW, although I probably would have used my own cover to help them out if I was Gary or Simon. I am not sure about this annual allowance business but I've never used my cover once in many years so I wouldn't be expecting to 'run out' of call outs.

It's not Kate and Ben's fault that their friends accepted a favour they didn't actually want, it shouldn'tbe held against them.

Equally it’s not Gary and Simon’s fault that Kate and Ben failed to get breakdown cover, it shouldn’t be held against them.

All to blame. Kate and Ben should have maintained their car especially if doing a long drive in it. Gary and Simon should have offered to use their membership, it's okay saving it for if their car broke down but at the moment in time they were in a broken down car that needed recovering so they'd be actually using their membership that they pay for.

I wouldn’t have expected Gary and Simon to contribute to costs but as a friend I would have used my membership to help out. So I’m a bit in the middle with this one.

How long ago was this? I’ve been an AA member for about 20 years and this hasn’t been the case for as long as I’ve been a member. Tbh I’d have happily used my AA membership for a friend and I have.

To me it’s a bit cheeky to sit and say you don’t want to be rude by not suggesting you use your own car but happily allow someone else to put miles on their car.

I think they should have used their allowance to help everyone get out of the situation quicker and not be tight stingy barstewards towards their so called friends……..if this is how they treat their friends who needs enemies………

Kate and Ben should have had their own breakdown cover and at the end of the day it's their car so their responsibility.
However, I do think it was a bit mean of Gary and Simon not to have used their AA membership. (I'm assuming here that they can use it for any car they are travelling in. I am in a different automobile club where I only have cover for my car).
Also Gary and Simon should have said that they wanted to drive and taken everyone in one of their cars if they thought Kate and Ben's car was ropey.

And everyone needs to grow up and get over this as it happened years ago. Either accept what happened, make peace with it and get on with the friendship or if you really can't agree on it and put it to rest, move on from the friendship and get other friends because it's ridiculous going on about something like this years after the event.

Yes, the important point is to make sure the policy covers the person. I have had new cars with AA cover included for 3 years that only covered the car. Audi was one I think. Mercedes use RAC from memory, and likewise it covers the car only. So, unless you actually take out a personal policy it’s not safe to assume that your cover covers you as a passenger I don’t think. Though, if that was the case in the situation the OP described I would expect the other two to have said so!

Gary or Simon should have used their "pick-up allowance" if they could in this situation (not that I’ve ever heard of that phrase, but I assume it’s a limit on the number of pick-ups allowed in a given period). In accepting the lift in a car they already suspected was dodgy, they were accepting the risk.

In any case, if their cars are so wonderfully maintained, they are unlikely to need their full allowance of pick-ups.

Kate and Ben were silly not to have breakdown cover, but I don’t blame them for being annoyed.

Gary and Simon were stingy af to refuse, especially as their cars were in better condition and therefore unlikely to need the call outs themselves.

If they had done that, it's unlikely Kate and Ben would have asked for more money to cover the rest.

I think Gary and Simon should have used their breakdown membership. WTF is the point of having it and not using it. If one of them had an obviously older car than the other, or if one had already had more call outs that year than the other than that should have been the deciding factor in which policy to use, otherwise they should have flipped a coin and not been so bloody mean spirited and petty.

Kate and Ben should have had their own breakdown cover, it's a non-negotiable part of owning a car unless you're happy to take the chance on paying the call out. It is clear that they weren't happy to pay the call out. but honestly, whoever is still raising it years later is a fucking tit. Life is too damn short.

Couple are most definitely not in the right

It's a shame Gary & Simon waited until they were on the side of the Motorway before finding their backbones. If it had showed up while they were discussing the driving options then the conflict would never have arisen

Either Gary or Simon should have offered to do the airport run. Why didn’t they if their cars are in much better order than Kate and Simons.

Whilst I don’t think Gary and Simon should pay for repairs I do think they are being rather mean in not offering in some way to help with their own AA membership.
Agree with @Whaleandsnail6 i wouldn’t want Gary and Simon as friends.

Yes, and a shame their previous 'politeness' abandoned them when it came to offering up one of their AA pick ups.

I don't believe Gary and Simon accepted the lift out of politeness tbh.

However, aside from that- everyone is unreasonable here. Kate and Ben should have made sure their car was roadworthy AND, given that it was unreliable, ensured they had breakdown cover. Gary and Simon should have politely said they preferred to go in one of their cars, but having accepted a lift, proffered one of their AA pick ups.

And everybody should have let it go by now.

Gary and Simon are arseholes for not using their AA membership to help the situation.

No, that’s why I said ‘maybe’

I said maybe Kate and Simon were awful on the way back, and Gary and Simon had enough of them.

"Gary and Simon are not budging, saying thay both have perfectly good cars of their own, which they pay to maintain and cover for breakdowns, and they should not be expected to cover Kate and Ben's expenses if they chose not to do this."

So why did Gary and Simon accept a lift in somebody else's car then, leaving their "perfectly good" cars at home? Why did they pay the extra for a personal policy and not a car only policy if they weren't prepared to use it as a passenger? Did they really not understand that the call out would not have cost anybody any more than they had already willingly paid at the start of their policy?! And yet they were perfectly happy for somebody else to do the tiring driving and putting wear and tear on somebody else's car, weren't they. And to cut their nose off to spite their faces in waiting longer at the side of a motorway bickering about who should call the AA rather than just grabbing their membership card and making the call straight away. Own goal, dickheads.

I think everyone should just let it go now seeing as it happened years back.
My AA membership has always covered any car I am in.

Gary and Simon are being unreasonable because why on earth didn’t they just say ‘I’ll make my own way thanks’ instead of accepting a lift they didn’t even want.

"But they don't want to be impolite,"

this is the downfall of the painfully "polite".

Gary &/or Simon should have said "great idea to carshare and share costs of airport parking, but I'd lets take my car as its more comfortable/reliable".

But no Gary & Simon don't have to cover the costs of the others roadside breakdown membership. Thats a ridiculous proposition.

Imagine you are giving a friend a lift to go shopping in the next town and your car breaks down - there is no way you would expect the friend to chip in for your your breakdown insurance.

I don't think Simon or Gary should be expected to pay towards the breakdown costs - I mean, where does that end? Should they be asked to pay for a quarter of the costs of repair too?! - but I do think they both need to grow a spine and not accept a lift them don't want in future.

obviously Gary and Simon should not have to pay for other peoples lack of an AA membership, and I couldn't get worked up about them not using one of their pick ups to be fair, the car could have broken down without them in it and they would still be in the same situation of having to get their own cover, it's no one else's responsibility but their own.

Gary and Simon both have their own cars, and in reality would rather take one of those as Kate and Ben's is a bit ropey. But they don't want to be impolite, and accept the offer. .

I think this is the bullshit part though: how is it impolite to say, "thank you for the offer but I was going to take my car, why don't you jump in with us instead?"

Two people let them take their shit car instead of offering to drive everyone themselves.. I highly doubt it was down to "impoliteness" and it was 100% it was them wanting to take the easy way of not having to organise any of the parking etc! absolutely ridiculous to suggest they did it out of politeness!!

Nobody would have had to have paid a penny if they'd have used their existing membership!