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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is in the right here? Cost sharing argument

198 replies

JoelyJoe · 27/01/2025 10:38

I would be very interested in people's opinions on this...

A large group are going on a ski holiday together. Different people are doing car shares to the airport.

Kate and Ben (couple), offer lifts to Gary and Simon (both single). Gary and Simon both have their own cars, and in reality would rather take one of those as Kate and Ben's is a bit ropey. But they don't want to be impolite, and accept the offer. Everyone is sharing costs for petrol and airport parking.

On the way back from the airport after the holiday, the car breaks down. Cue massive hassle, hours of waiting on the motorway for AA pick up. Kate and Ben don't have AA membership so want Gary and Simon to use one of their pick up allowances. They both refuse as they think Kate and Ben should have had their own cover for their car. Kate and Ben then have to pay full, non members price for pick-up, and want Gary and Simon to share the costs.

Again, they refuse, on the grounds that the car could have broken down at any time and it is not their responsibilty to cover their maintenance costs.

Kate is furious and sends an email a few days after the event saying how disappointed she is in them.

Gary and Simon are not budging, saying thay both have perfectly good cars of their own, which they pay to maintain and cover for breakdowns, and they should not be expected to cover Kate and Ben's expenses if they chose not to do this.

Who is right?
YABU - Gary and Simon were in the car, they should share the costs.
YANBU - Kate and Ben are responsible for their own car.

OP posts:
WeeOrcadian · 27/01/2025 10:59

If my car isn't reliable, I make sure I have breakdown cover

The couple were unreasonable for that

Gary & Simon (the single blokes) were UR to not use ONE of their allowed recovery thingies

Nobody looks sparkling in this situation

DUsername · 27/01/2025 11:01

Sharptonguedwoman · 27/01/2025 10:57

Everyone comes out of this badly. The car owners should have cover and net expect help from friends. The friends are stingy whatsits. I'd have used my cover for a friend without even stopping to think. Why didn't one of the blokes with a better car offer to take everyone?

It's this for me.

None of them have acted how I would expect friends to act...

HellofromJohnCraven · 27/01/2025 11:03

I do think though both gary and simon were arses if they had breakdown cover on any car they were travelling in and refused to use it.

Choccyscofffy · 27/01/2025 11:06

Kate and Ben are twats who only offered lifts to gouge as much as possible from their ‘friends’. I bet they also charged disproportionately for petrol?

I hope they have been ostracised from the group?

EerieSalamander · 27/01/2025 11:06

Gary and Simon should have used their AA and were mean, but on the other hand shouldn't have to pay for the recovery. They still were mean though.

Lovelysummerdays · 27/01/2025 11:07

I’ve been in a similar situation as a passenger and used my rac membership to get car towed and a taxi to destination. I pay for fancy membership so it covers me in any car. I think it’s a bit of a dick move to insist they pay full whack. They should of used one of their cars if necessary.

Choccyscofffy · 27/01/2025 11:08

HellofromJohnCraven · 27/01/2025 11:03

I do think though both gary and simon were arses if they had breakdown cover on any car they were travelling in and refused to use it.

They didn’t even want the lift in the first place!

I would feel embarrassed to charge money for a lift without having proper breakdown cover in place.

I take my nieces away and have national recovery added as well so that we’re not left stranded.

Kate and Ben are irresponsible and tight and got served just desserts.

KrisAkabusi · 27/01/2025 11:09

JoelyJoe · 27/01/2025 10:49

Just a quick clarification. This actually happened a few years ago (but rears it's head occasionally.. hence why I'm interested in opinions).
Back then basic AA cover only gave you a limited number of call-outs...

I've been an AA member for 30 years, I've never heard of that. AA covers the passenger, not the car, so either of them should have been able to call them. ANd should have done.

Carnewb · 27/01/2025 11:14

I think it'd have been a nice thing to do to use their membership to get the car recovered, I'd do it if I had that sort of cover, because they're my friends and it'd benefit me too.

My breakdown cover only applies to my car anyway so I wouldn't be able to use it for theirs, and I wouldn't be contributing towards getting their car recovered financially.
I didn't have breakdown cover the first year after I passed my test because I couldn't afford it with the insurance being so high, but I wouldn't have expected a passenger to contribute to the car being recovered if it had broken down either, because it's my responsibility.

Don't think anyone comes out of this looking particularly good tbh, the two without cover sound a bit grabby and the two with cover sound like they're just proving a point if it wouldn't have been to their detriment to use one of their pick ups. They inconvenienced themselves by not using one of their pick ups, having to wait for things to be sorted before they got picked up which seems a bit daft to me.

tanstaafl · 27/01/2025 11:15

I feel a lot happened on the skiing holiday that came to a head when the breakdown happened.

Hooplahooping · 27/01/2025 11:15

Everyone in this scenario seems immature, petty and tight fisted to me…

You’ve paid for your ski holiday - so share a taxi / be grown up enough to insist you drive in the better car / dig in and help out when things go wrong.

everyone is in the wrong here from start to finish. I would be horrified if any of my friends behaved like this - and even more so if they dragged a wider group of friends into it.

DaisyChain505 · 27/01/2025 11:17

Kate and Ben are grabby so and so’s and have a right cheek asking for any money just because someone else happened to be in their car when it broke down.

Their passengers didn’t cause the breakdown and it would have happened either way.

TeenLifeMum · 27/01/2025 11:17

i can’t understand why they wouldn’t use their call out. You got 5 a year and even with my old metro never went over that. They were mean.

Crankyaboutfood · 27/01/2025 11:18

a normal friend who decided to accept a ride to not be impolite, should have used their pick up to help, but that would just be kindness/convenience. i don’t think they should pay for anything though.

2chocolateoranges · 27/01/2025 11:19

I personally wouldn’t have asked for money but if it’s Gary and Simon who have AA cover for themselves rather than a specific car it would have been kind to have used it,

both have been unreasonable in their own ways. If Gary and Simon didn’t want a lift in the first place they should have been more vocal.

Tiswa · 27/01/2025 11:21

Kate and Ben totally should have had cover considering it was a dodgy car
one of the others could have called the AA they were a passenger so would have been covered

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 27/01/2025 11:22

Gary and Simon are right not to pay for repairs, but really horrible "friends" not to have used their AA for a rescue.

ExtraOnions · 27/01/2025 11:22

Too polite to turn down a lift …rude enough to not help in an emergency

Shrodingers Arseholes

museumum · 27/01/2025 11:22

Gary or Simon should have piped up at the start to say “let’s take my car instead as it’s more reliable”.

JarvisIsland · 27/01/2025 11:24

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. The couple could have covered their shitbox car for breakdown and recovery. It’s on no-one but them.

People who don’t do things then expect others to essentially be their insurance policies seem to swan through life like this and it’s pretty entitled. I’d sit at the side of the road in my ski gear to teach them a lesson because I’m petty like that. Car maintenance and cover appropriate for its age and my use is an expense of running a car. I’d not expect anyone else to cover that and anyone who does is a CF.

Iamnotalemming · 27/01/2025 11:25

If my car broke down while I was giving a friend a lift I cannot imagine asking them to help pay for the recovery charges.

BIossomtoes · 27/01/2025 11:28

JustMarriedBecca · 27/01/2025 10:42

I think couple are in the wrong. If you have a dodgy car, you have cover for it and it's their fault they didn't. That said, if I was a friend I'd have used my AA pick up and/or got friends a discount.
We have AA cover and have never run out of free rescues. Didn't even know that was a thing.

Nor did I. If I was in a friend’s car and it broke down I wouldn’t think twice about using my AA membership.

Frapbap · 27/01/2025 11:28

The friends should have used their AA call-out. Definitely.
That's the friendly thing to do, I'm sure the car-owning couple would have shown their gratitude.

niadainud · 27/01/2025 11:28

AccordionedWhileMallBurned · 27/01/2025 10:49

They've all chosen to go on what sounds like a fairly expensive holiday, so I don't have sympathy with any of them.

Kate should have had breakdown cover; but in reality there was nothing to stop the other two using theirs or taking their own cars (don't buy the nonsense about not wanting to hurt Kate's feelings).

Moral - don't choose expensive holidays like ski-ing if you're not also prepared to cover or insure against unexpected extra costs.

That's a bit of an odd attitude. Do people only get your sympathy if they're on NMW and holiday at a caravan park?

TwentyKittens · 27/01/2025 11:28

Kate and Ben don't have AA membership so want Gary and Simon to use one of their pick up allowances. They both refuse as they think Kate and Ben should have had their own cover for their car. Kate and Ben then have to pay full, non members price for pick-up, and want Gary and Simon to share the costs.

Kate and Ben are crazy fuckers.