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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is in the right here? Cost sharing argument

198 replies

JoelyJoe · 27/01/2025 10:38

I would be very interested in people's opinions on this...

A large group are going on a ski holiday together. Different people are doing car shares to the airport.

Kate and Ben (couple), offer lifts to Gary and Simon (both single). Gary and Simon both have their own cars, and in reality would rather take one of those as Kate and Ben's is a bit ropey. But they don't want to be impolite, and accept the offer. Everyone is sharing costs for petrol and airport parking.

On the way back from the airport after the holiday, the car breaks down. Cue massive hassle, hours of waiting on the motorway for AA pick up. Kate and Ben don't have AA membership so want Gary and Simon to use one of their pick up allowances. They both refuse as they think Kate and Ben should have had their own cover for their car. Kate and Ben then have to pay full, non members price for pick-up, and want Gary and Simon to share the costs.

Again, they refuse, on the grounds that the car could have broken down at any time and it is not their responsibilty to cover their maintenance costs.

Kate is furious and sends an email a few days after the event saying how disappointed she is in them.

Gary and Simon are not budging, saying thay both have perfectly good cars of their own, which they pay to maintain and cover for breakdowns, and they should not be expected to cover Kate and Ben's expenses if they chose not to do this.

Who is right?
YABU - Gary and Simon were in the car, they should share the costs.
YANBU - Kate and Ben are responsible for their own car.

OP posts:
Irvinesv · 27/01/2025 11:29

Gary and Simon shouldn’t have to pay but to be honest they aren’t great friends to refuse to use their AA.

Izzy24 · 27/01/2025 11:29

Billydavey · 27/01/2025 10:44

Never heard of a pick up allowance

car owners bear the cost of repairs
car passengers if their breakdown membership covers them should have used that. Pretty petty not to do so

This of course.

All parties being unreasonable- car owners obviously pay full cost of repairs and AA members use their breakdown membership.

ClareBlue · 27/01/2025 11:30

So you can use your membership for other people's cars. How does that work.

Hwi · 27/01/2025 11:31

You you can't afford it without the embarrassment of penny-pinching, don't do it. Penny-pinching people should not go on skiing holidays.

BIossomtoes · 27/01/2025 11:32

ClareBlue · 27/01/2025 11:30

So you can use your membership for other people's cars. How does that work.

It works because the member is the person. As an AA member you can use your cover for any car. I’d do it for a stranger at the road side, let alone a friend.

TossieFleacake · 27/01/2025 11:33

Gary and Simon are a pair of stingy bastards ... of course they could've used one of their pick ups and then everyone would have been less inconvenienced.

However, absolutely no way should they contribute to Kate and Ben's recovery fee or breakdown subscription... their car = their cost.

Sounds like a group of rather selfish friends if you ask me.

KrisAkabusi · 27/01/2025 11:33

ClareBlue · 27/01/2025 11:30

So you can use your membership for other people's cars. How does that work.

I have coverage, not my car. No matter what car I'm in, I can call the AA for rescue. It's not complicated.

SleepingisanArt · 27/01/2025 11:33

AA cover now has various tiers of cover - we recently changed ours to only cover our car even though we have the highest level of cover (homestart etc) It saved us a few pounds and we rarely travel in other people's cars. We had daily cover when the DCs were younger which covered all our cars and any of us in any other car. We all have our own cover as the registered addresses fir all the cars are different.

I think if you own a car it's your responsibility to maintain it, insure it and have appropriate breakdown cover.

MsTada · 27/01/2025 11:34

I think Gary and Simon were selfish for not using one of their free pick ups, and it'd probably put me off being friends with them. What's the point of friends if they don't help each other out? Whether or not they they would rather have used their own cars to get to the airport is irrelevant if they didn't actually voice this to the couple - it doesn't sound like they were forced into sharing lifts, a lift was offered in good faith and I think a decent friend would have just used one of their pickups to help out when the car broke down.

Lurkingandlearning · 27/01/2025 11:35

If Gary or Simon had used their recovery membership they would have found their renewal price a lot more expensive. Like when you make a claim on insurance. I think (not sure)

Choccyscofffy · 27/01/2025 11:37

KrisAkabusi · 27/01/2025 11:09

I've been an AA member for 30 years, I've never heard of that. AA covers the passenger, not the car, so either of them should have been able to call them. ANd should have done.

Show quote history

If you’ve been AA for so long you’re likely not aware of new product offerings.

RAC are offering a limited call outs policy even now.

Who is in the right here? Cost sharing argument
WaltzingWaters · 27/01/2025 11:38

Gary and Simon do not need to contribute costs of the breakdown recovery, it was Kate and Ben’s responsibility. Although it was a bit shit of them to not use one of their recovery allowances (depending on how many they were allowed I guess).

On the whole, doesn’t sound like a great friendship. Gary and Simon could have said from the start, “shall we take one of our cars as yours is a liability”. Gary and Simon should have shared their breakdown cover, but if they didn’t have many allowances left for whatever reason and couldn’t, it wasn’t their responsibility to foot the bill for Kate and Ben’s car.

heddy007 · 27/01/2025 11:38

Kate and Ben need to maintain their own car, if it had happened 5 minutes before they got to pick Gary and Simon up would they even be asking??? no brainer, who evers car it was should look after maintenance of their vehicle

mewkins · 27/01/2025 11:41

Why didn't either Gary or Simon insist on doing the airport run in their really reliable cars (so reliable that they were scared to use up their AA callouts)?

JessicafelloffTheKnappett · 27/01/2025 11:44

God No! Gary and Simon don't owe anything for breakdown service for someone else's car... that's ridiculous!

NewFriendlyLadybird · 27/01/2025 11:47

Why didn’t either Gary or Simon offer their own car in the first place? Or not accepted the lift that they didn’t want? There are ways that they could have done that without being rude.

Once the car has broken down it was pretty petty and mean not to have used their AA membership. That’s why the membership is attached to a person, not the car.

MrsSunshine2b · 27/01/2025 11:48

The car would have broken down regardless of if they were in the car or not. It's not their fault they happened to be passengers at the time.

Gogogo12345 · 27/01/2025 11:49

JustMarriedBecca · 27/01/2025 10:42

I think couple are in the wrong. If you have a dodgy car, you have cover for it and it's their fault they didn't. That said, if I was a friend I'd have used my AA pick up and/or got friends a discount.
We have AA cover and have never run out of free rescues. Didn't even know that was a thing.

Exactly this

Crumpleton · 27/01/2025 11:49

Depending on how many call outs I'm allowed/used and distance to where the car needed towing to if that was the end result.

That said if it was an unreliable car to begin with I wouldn't have chanced using/going in it as knowing my luck it would have broken down on route to the airport. So I'd have insisted on using my own car and used the fact I had breakdown cover for 'just in case' to back it up.

TBH if it were me in this case and it happened a few years ago I'd put it to bed now and leave it there. No good comes from bringing up these things, opinions will probably never change.

Choccyscofffy · 27/01/2025 11:49

NewFriendlyLadybird · 27/01/2025 11:47

Why didn’t either Gary or Simon offer their own car in the first place? Or not accepted the lift that they didn’t want? There are ways that they could have done that without being rude.

Once the car has broken down it was pretty petty and mean not to have used their AA membership. That’s why the membership is attached to a person, not the car.

Why should they offer a lift?

And they may have been allowed only 2 call outs a year. I wouldn’t waste them on someone who couldn’t be bothered to get breakdown cover.

Cosyblankets · 27/01/2025 11:49

I can't imagine liking someone enough to go in holiday with them but not enough to say I'm in the AA use mine.
I've had cars for over 30 years so i will have had cars when there was an allowance and i never used it up. Don't think i knew it was a thing even then and i had some bangers

user1492757084 · 27/01/2025 11:50

All costs should be borne by the couple. It is their car.

That said, Gary and Simon could have been more useful. They could have used one of their recoveries or, I think even better, should have insisted that they drive them all in one of their well maintained cars to begin with.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 27/01/2025 11:50

The car owners were responsible for their car, including when it breaks down.

That said, if you're in the car and you have an insurance that would help your friends out, it's a bit mean not to do it.

Choccyscofffy · 27/01/2025 11:50

mewkins · 27/01/2025 11:41

Why didn't either Gary or Simon insist on doing the airport run in their really reliable cars (so reliable that they were scared to use up their AA callouts)?

Gary or Simon were not obliged to do anything - offer lifts, offer call outs tokens, nothing.

heddy007 · 27/01/2025 11:52

So OP… are you Kate & Ben or Gary & Simon… if none of these do you have an opinion on who you think is in the right here?