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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think stealing food isn’t wrong if you’re starving?

150 replies

ThatPinkHedgehog · 26/01/2025 21:44

If someone is hungry and has no means to buy food, is it really immoral for them to take what they need to survive? AIBU to think there’s a moral grey area when it comes to stealing for survival?

OP posts:
Lentilweaver · 26/01/2025 21:46

The plot of Les Mis!

Quinlan · 26/01/2025 21:46

It’s not really for survival in this country though. There are food banks. There is help available. And there is often things you can cut out to have enough money for food, but they’ll steal first. There is also the option to cook much more cheaply when you need to. I’ve been down to £15 left with a week to go and two kids to feed. I’ve still managed to feed them. Granted this was 10 years ago at least and I’ve not been back in that situation but I didn’t need to steal.

Meecrowahvey · 26/01/2025 21:47

Of course it's not wrong if the person has no food and no legitimate way to obtain food. People come before profits.

IPM · 26/01/2025 21:48

Life cant really work that way, otherwise supermarkets would become food banks.

Plus if someone was really starving and they stood outside a food shop asking for actual food for long enough, someone would definitely feed them.

MyProudHare · 26/01/2025 21:50

I agree with you, OP.

Nikitaspearlearring · 26/01/2025 21:50

Who are they stealing from? The shop owner might see it differently. But people through the ages have done this; been forced to steal food in order to survive. Today's benefit system is supposed to provide for people who don't have enough income.
What exactly are you thinking of,?

AlmostAJillSandwich · 26/01/2025 21:53

Do they spend any of their money on wants rather than needs? E.g do they smoke, drink, do drugs, gamble etc.
If they've mismanaged their money that could have stretched to buy something luxury over essential then 100% wrong. If they've cut every penny possible then there are places they can ask for help like foodbanks etc so imo still wrong to steal.
If we start turning a blind eye to certain crimes in certain circumstances then the law becomes a grey area, who is the one who draws the line of acceptable and doesn't just make a sham out of the whole system.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 26/01/2025 21:53

I think, if there were no other means, sure.

But that's after having utilised foodbanks, asked local churches/places of worship/children's school, gone to the council offices/soup kitchens/friends and neighbours and asked for a way to be fed. Normally there's something you can do, but people find it degrading (I suppose it feels that way, but I'd argue stealing and getting caught more so!)

Trinity69 · 26/01/2025 21:55

I agree OP. I worked retail for nearly 10 years and there’s a massive difference between stealing big roasting joints and booze and a shoplifter once caught who had bread, marg and a pack of ham, which was clearly because he or his kids needed a sandwich.

Luddite26 · 26/01/2025 22:02

I think an adult person can live on not much food for quite a while so I personally wouldn't steal for myself. Luckily I haven't been in a position where I have had to steal to feed kids. I have gone without a lot of things food/sanitary products/hygiene products to feed the kids at times but going without food as an adult is quite easy once you get used to it.
And having money to buy yourself a nice nourishing shower gel feels great.
When my mum was younger she had hardly any money as she had a dog and cats to feed before herself. She was caught making a jam sandwich at a cleaning job she had had for many years. I think the lady pretended not to notice.

claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer · 26/01/2025 22:10

Lentilweaver · 26/01/2025 21:46

The plot of Les Mis!

My first thought too!

IAmADescendantOfSweepTheSqueakyLegend · 26/01/2025 22:13

Quinlan · 26/01/2025 21:46

It’s not really for survival in this country though. There are food banks. There is help available. And there is often things you can cut out to have enough money for food, but they’ll steal first. There is also the option to cook much more cheaply when you need to. I’ve been down to £15 left with a week to go and two kids to feed. I’ve still managed to feed them. Granted this was 10 years ago at least and I’ve not been back in that situation but I didn’t need to steal.

They’ll steal first eh?

NachoChip · 26/01/2025 22:14

Stealing is always immoral, but if you're (genuinely) stealing for survival then that need trumps morals so it's a forgiveable wrong.

Of course, you're focusing entirely on the thief. What if they steal bread from someone who was relying on that bread for their own survival?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 26/01/2025 22:15

Meecrowahvey · 26/01/2025 21:47

Of course it's not wrong if the person has no food and no legitimate way to obtain food. People come before profits.

This!

But obviously you should try to get food by legitimate means if those are open to you.

SometimesCalmPerson · 26/01/2025 22:17

I wonder how often thieves get caught stealing a loaf of value bread and a pint of milk in the UK? People here don’t need to steal to survive, they steal for profit.

Gabitule · 26/01/2025 22:17

There is no ‘need’ to steal food in this country. There are food banks and community centres which give away free food.
if those who really ‘need’ it start stealing, then where is the boundary between those who need and those who want.
The people who stole all the smoked salmon in my local supermarket in front of the security guard who was too scared to intervene - did they ‘need’ that salmon?

Hankunamatata · 26/01/2025 22:18

Yeah - the local co op has lurpak in steal proof cases cos people are stealing it as they are starving 🙄

savethatkitty · 26/01/2025 22:19

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. If its really a choice of survival, you'd do anything you can TO survive. Even if that resorted to theft. Or deception.

Rewis · 26/01/2025 22:21

Where are they stealing from?

Onlycoffee · 26/01/2025 22:21

but going without food as an adult is quite easy once you get used to it.
And having money to buy yourself a nice nourishing shower gel feels great.@Luddite26

What?? Is this a bot answer?

People need food to survive, it's not an optional extra!
Unlike a nourishing shower gel !?!

Differentstarts · 26/01/2025 22:26

No reason to steal food in this country. 8 years of retail never seen anyone steal a value loaf of bread. Spirits, meat, razor blades, make up etc. There always given the option to pay when there caught and 99% of them manage to pay no problem.

IPM · 26/01/2025 22:26

I feel like the non returning OP has got us to do her homework for her.

lookatthathorse · 26/01/2025 22:27

Hankunamatata · 26/01/2025 22:18

Yeah - the local co op has lurpak in steal proof cases cos people are stealing it as they are starving 🙄

What’s this got to do with anything?

Both Lurpak and the CoOp are stupidly expensive. Only an idiot would buy Lurpak from the bloody CcOp. It’s got absolutely no relevance to what the OP posted though, has it?

balloonsintrees · 26/01/2025 22:28

Depends which ethical theory you wish to apply...
Deontological
Teleological
Divine Command

Pick one, any one.

YoungGunsHavingSomeFunCrazyLadiesKeepEmOnTheRun · 26/01/2025 22:28

There were 2 periods of my life where I had to steal food.

As a kid with abusive parents who withheld food as punishment, and then I, stupidly got married as a teenager to an abusive guy in his 30s who knew my parents did that and just carried it on for periods of time depending on my behaviour.

I couldn't have used foodbanks, I didn't have access to money either. I did sometimes pop to the neighbours house at lunch time in the hope she would make me a sandwich, and she often did, but, other than that it was pocketing small chocolate bars or whatever I could, when I could.

I don't feel good about it, but certainly with my ex husband I needed it to survive, I was pregnant and ravenous.