To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

[NovemberMorn]

Joanna Lumley has just given an interview in which she says..."I never minded wolf whistling, I always thought it was tremendous".

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Do you think she is right?

So I as a shy 19 year old who was minding her own business was "overreacting" by feeling deep embarrassment and intimidation when groups of builders would whistle and shout as I walked past? That was just absolutely fine for them to do, and the problem was mine?

I would be horrified if my sons behaved like this. None of the decent men I have known, going back decades, would have ever dreamt of being so crass and disrespectful.

She has a luxury view point, she has always had money and privilege. What is a hotel cleaner supposed to do when the manager who pays her puts his hand on her leg? What is a 15 yo in care to feel when she walks past a group of 50 football fans waiting for a coach and they all cat call and whistle at her? JL is being selfish and unthinking, as rich entitled people tend to be.

Absolutely hated it
Also when riding, I had a man slow his car and say “ Lucky saddle”- that was to a young teen
I only realised the implications as I got older.

If someone needs to be wolf whistled or groped to help with their self worth then they’re majorly fucked up.

Is a wolf whistle even a thing these days,it's unwelcome attention for the most part.
Any man releasing his inner Sid James...the 70s want you back mate.

The wolf whistles weren't that bad, they could easily be ignored. It was the other stuff that bothered me. The comments about my body, the following me and not leaving me alone used to scare me. When I was 16 i had to start walking the long way to my best friends house because there was a man who worked in a shop who would spot me every time and chase me down the road begging me to marry him. He must have been in his 30s. I got followed home on multiple occasions by weirdos.
If wolf whistles are acceptable then it just opens the door to all the other stuff.

No. She's wrong. There are some women who feel it signals they're attractive to men and tbf, most people if honest would prefer to be attractive than not. However, they are falling to take into account that it doesn't necessarily mean that at all. Men do it for laughs, to impress other men, to relieve boredom, and sometimes to embarass and intimidate, so it matters little whether the woman is attractive to them or not. They are also failing to understand that many women and particularly young girls hate it and are uncomfortable and intimidated. I'm not sure how 'tough' she thinks 13 year old girls in school uniform should be, or why the answer is for women to toughen up so men can have their fun. As for a situation where a sexual assault should be met with a physical assault...well I don't even know where to start with that. Clearly this foolish woman has never encountered a man who would hit her back.

Any unwanted attention is not alright!
What else do you think should be allowed, OP?
I can't stand these situations.
YABU, big time.

"Poor men. It's so sad. I do hope you get picked soon."

What does that actually mean?

I used to like it because I was very much a 'pick me'.

Now I just think that men are exactly the same, except that they pretend to be respectful while being addicted to porn. The thing about being a former 'pick me' is that I know what men are like i.e. most of them, married or not, responded to my ridiculous behaviour.

This thread is one of the most depressing things I have read for a while.
Thinking men whistling at you is a compliment makes you stupid not attractive

Clouting someone is hardly a sign of approval.

its not really relevant what one person thought or thinks about it, or if some people liked it. it’s about what kind of society do we want to live in. Women will never be respected and treated equally if they are seen as pretty objects to be appreciated by men. I can admit that a part of me likes the attention I get when I go out looking nice but I can also recognise that it’s overall not a positive thing for society more broadly. It also makes me reflect on why I like the attention. Is it social conditioning? Or is it more innate than that? I’m not sure.

There's such a chasm between what boomers like this and millennials like me (albeit elder millennial) think and have experienced. I find them difficult to relate to at all. At a certain point you have to accept that your way of thinking has been totally superseded.

In those days you could slap a man for inappropriate behaviour but these days he'd retaliate and you'd come off far worse so reporting it is the only safe route now.

Absolutely incorrect.
Wolf whistles can be harmful. It can make women fearful of walking past certain areas because of the unwanted attention, for example.
Receiving wolf whistles at 14 by big burly blokes on a building site was intimidating. I had to walk past them to get to the bus stop as there was no alternate route. Being hounded every single day made me stop wanting to go to school.

Feel free to unwatch if it's depressing you.
For others, it's a thread to have their say on how women were treated, back in the day, whether male behaviour has improved for them....or not.

Men feel constrained that they can't sexually harass and assault women? Is this a joke?

He was a creep, end of.

This is very much the point. JL doesn’t mind? Great, good for her. If she stops to think about the hotel cleaner in your example then hopefully she’d think twice about creating a society that accepts that type of behaviour.

Or a product of the misogynistic world we live in. I know better nowadays and we have a duty to teach the next generations better. As a teenager I thought "Love Actually" was romantic. As an adult i recognise it as the misogynistic claptrap it is.

You know what it means. If not, google is free.

Men do not think any better of you, and will not treat you any better, just because you pander to them.

Women had the shit knocked out of them back then as well.

It was bad. It was relentless. Being bothered, leered at, constant commentary, eugh!

I never minded the wolf whistles, I never had any "get your tits out" comments because I've always been pretty much flat chested and the only actual comment I remember was "marry me!" from one builder. But I was in my late teens/20s when that happened, not a young girl and I didn't get any disgusting or inappropriate comments made by the whistlers.
I hated the unwanted hand on bum and leg thing though, haven't thought about it for decades but it happened so much you sort of got used to slapping men's hands away. Fortunately for me none of it was threatening but of course it's better to live in a society where women shouldn't have to deal with unwanted attention from men and men should never feel they have a right to touch a female without her permission.
I get what Joanna Lumley is saying because presumably she herself didn't mind and had no negative effects from it. However if she thinks her attitude should apply to all women then she is completely wrong.