To think that wolf whistling wasn't such a bad thing?

[NovemberMorn]

Joanna Lumley has just given an interview in which she says..."I never minded wolf whistling, I always thought it was tremendous".

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Do you think she is right?

@AliTheMinx

I'm very sorry for what happened to you, that's horrendous

To add I was not overly bothered by wolf whistling. I found it more like a mosquito bite than something really problematic (most of the time although I have had some vile things said such as the man who announced, as he walked past me that he wanted to “j*zz on my tits”) But I don’t mind the eradication of attitudes that see women as little more than decorative objects whose sole purpose is to appeal to men (and wolf whistling is part of that).

And yes I am more than capable of telling a man to go away or removing a hand from my thigh but I should not have to.

And wolf whistling and somebody approaching you to ask you out are two very different things imo).

Your female friends could always make a move themselves.

I say what I’m saying as a woman of that time.

Again, as I said in my previous post, no one is saying it’s heinous, nor am I saying the men are vile, what made you think I was? I’ll again reiterate that I don’t think everyday sexism or misogyny are acceptable. You do, because it’s not as bad as rape? I also do not allow everyday racism in my life.

I say this as a child of that time, that was also groomed and raped. I think that the whole all girls women were fare game to be oggled etc, no way made it safer for us?

Im sorry you experienced the same.

i do not understand your viewpoint one single but, that women and there to be sexually objectified, so we will have to agree to disagree.

Would you think bringing the culture back would be a positive?

Or are you in the camp “that it was alright back then” because it just wasn’t.

I'm so very sorry about what happened to you too. Just awful.

I am not sure where the racism comment came from? I understand your views on everyday sexism and misogyny. I think at the time it was so ingrained in the culture, I didn't see it that way. It was just the accepted norm. That doesn't make it right.

I recently went on a training course about this topic, and one student said he was so scared about getting into any trouble or saying something unacceptable, that he hadn't even.be able to compliment his housemate to say she looked nice before the prom. I thought that was sad... as though we have gone from one extreme to the other and everyone is too scared to say anything positive in case it is twisted or misconstrued.

No. I wouldn't want things to go back to how they were, but equally I think the pendulum.has now swung too far in the opposite direction, and we need to find a happy medium.

Ah yes. You've just reminded me how after being whistled at by creeps on the way to school, I'd see those posters- Rape in Marriage:Make it a Crime
Disgusting that it was legal prior to 1991

She also said... "I think we were a little bit tougher then. Somebody put their hand on your leg, you didn’t feel affronted and report it. You’d give them a slap.”

Well if why would you slap them if you don’t feel affronted? 🙄

Wouldn’t have been any point in reporting it back in the 60s/70s anyway. So, yes, maybe women did have to be tougher but, no, that’s not a good thing.

The men who whistle at grown women are no different from the men who whistle at children because they are the same men!
Building sites aren't separated between those who leer exclusively at adults and others who leer at kids.
The reason these women have never seen, or heard of ,men whistling at children is because they probably don't do it when another adult is in the vicinity. They know they'd get slaughtered so they whistle and leer at the young girls when they're alone

Exactly this. I got wolf-whistled and harassed 10 x more when I was a young teenager in a school uniform or t-shirt and hipster trousers than when I was a much more attractive woman wearing more sexually attractive clothes in my early 20s. That’s what’s so gross about it. I remember at college when I was 16 having to take a massive 10 min detour for two years to walk to my chemistry class just to avoid a group of 18 year old men hanging around the woodwork/engineering classrooms at the entrance of the science block simply because they would stare so disgustingly and make obnoxious comments.

I assume that confidence was born from nothing bad happening to you at the hands/of men boys?

In 'The talented Mr Ripley' there's a scene in an Italian square where the men are very vocally appreciative of the passing women. But that is all they are doing. They remain seated. I could put up with that - if they want to look like hooting loons, let them. But men don't behave like that outside of the movies. Whistling is how the most awful scenarios begin. The following, grabbing, groping, up to and including taharrush gamea. So no, I don't feel ok about cat-calling. It so often is the precursor to horror.

Agreed. I never needed to be validated by some twat on a building site. I am, and always was, perfectly capable of putting men in their place but having to do it practically every time I went anywhere as a young woman was utterly tedious.

For the tenth time, not all areas have mem whistling at kids. Some women have neither experienced that nor witnessed it - ever. In my neck of the woods men only whistled at WOMEN, that's 18 plus. Thankfully, they weren't interested in kids.

@Bbq1

In my neck of the woods men only whistled at WOMEN, that's 18 plus.

Impressive they could tell for sure if a girl / woman was 16, 17 or 18.

I don't care if you've said 10 times or 100 times that you've never experienced men catcalling children! I did as a child along with many other women who have posted here.
Stop trying to minimise it just because it never happened to you due to living in such a wonderful area that had lovely 'appropriate' wolf whistlers
I don't need women like you saying Not all areas/Not all men.

But just as your experience is valid, so are others' experiences of only being wolf whistled as an adult by young adult males.

Both experiences are equally valid and equally true

I have also NEVER seen men wolf whistling children and if I had done, I would have reported the behaviour to the site manager.

I haven't said others experiences aren't valid. But when I'm sharing disturbing experiences of being harassed and worse, as a child, what is the the point of stating 'well I've never seen men doing that', it doesn't happen where I live etc...
It seems to suggest that it's not that big an issue because it doesn't happen everywhere
Really what is the point?

I can remember being in school uniform and being wolf whistled (late 80s)

I wasn't referring to me telling you ten times etc, multiple other pp's have said the same thing. .I'm sorry that you lived in an area where men apparently whistled at kids. have I don't need women like you implying that my lived experience isn't valid just because I'm not not supporting your idea that all men who wolf whistle are predators and pedophiles.

Apparently? What does that mean?

I haven't implied your lived experience isn't valid. And I haven't said that ALL men that wolf whistle are paedophiles.
But all men that catcall children definitely are.
There will be men that only whistle at adults.
But the ones who are whistling at children will also be whistling at adults too.

I'm sorry that you lived in an area where men apparently whistled at kids.

Your mask slipped. I was one of those girls, harassed from 11. And I KNOW that because I moved aged 11. It's not misremembered and it wasn't uncommon.

I also remember going to my friend's house to dye my hair brown early teens, under 16, and being whistled at on the way there (blonde) and not on the way back. I didn't have blonde hair again for YEARS having worked out that I didn't care what colour my hair was but weirdos and perverts did.

Hysteria alert.
I am reading men who wolf whistled at women also whistled at children, and any woman who was not traumatised by a wolf whistle supports the rape culture.

Bloody ridiculous.

Please don't call women hysterics. Part and parcel of misogyny and rape culture is denying women's experiences. I was sexually harassed by men as a child and know of many instances of girls being harassed in their school uniforms or after developing.

Street harassment belies a deep disrespect for women and girls and objectifies them. It makes life difficult for women who would rather go about their day without whistles and comments.

I wonder how flattered these men would be if other men were making sexual comments about them.

double post

Why not?
This thread has been filled with name calling, read back.
I haven't seen anyone denying anyone else's trauma. I have seen a lot of snide comments aimed at women who have an opinion different to some though.