To ask what are your teens sociable hobbies.

78 replies

Pippyls67 · 26/01/2025 00:07

Ds is 18 and left school last year. Works from home on a farm so not meeting new people. He got badly bullied in school so now doesn’t mix with anyone from there. It was just too traumatic to cross paths with the same boys as they were out sometimes with lads he did actually get on with. Anyway to cut a long story short he’s super lonely. He’s getting bitter and angry about his situation. What social hobbies do your own teen boys do / or maybe your partners do if they’re younger ? Unfortunately he says he’s ‘rubbish’ at ball games. I think that was partly why he struggled with making friends at school too. His primary friends all played football and rugby and grew in their social circles while he didn’t. Anyway any suggestions would be great. He goes to the gym a lot so he’s fit and strong. It’s not very sociable - but it does get him away from home. Please comment with suggestions as it’s absolutely breaking my heart.

OP posts:

faithbuffy · 28/01/2025 22:11

We have a local very casual running group that meets up for a walk/jog regularly

Also wild swimming is very sociable. I went on my own for the first time and you can paddle, dip or swim. Some just come for the walk (it's about 25 mins) then sit and have a coffee
Real mix of ages, usually a dog or two as well!

Original poster

Pippyls67 · 29/01/2025 00:25

Saracen · 28/01/2025 22:07

I've known quite a few bullied teens. (I home educate, and some of them leave school to escape the bullies.) One thing which can help is socialising with different age groups, so there's less likely to be any bullying. This may give your son the confidence boost he needs so he can start trusting people and feeling safe.

He's now old enough that there would be no issue with him joining hobby or voluntary groups which are mostly attended by adults significantly older than himself. The people there are likely to be delighted to find a young person wanting to join them. He can have a different sort of relationship with them.

Even good-quality teenaged friendships tend to involve more work than friendships with older people. Adolescence is a turbulent time. Sometimes teenaged friends will have their own stuff to deal with, so much so that they may not have the energy to be there for your son when he needs them. They're all figuring out who they are, worrying about whether they'll get a good job or ever find a boyfriend/girlfriend or whether they should take drugs or move out of the family home. Of course, older adults have problems too, but the intensity is less. They can be stable and dependable.

Adults will have found some of the answers. They may be able to help him through and show him the light at the end of the tunnel.

Likewise, being with younger kids will feel safer too. They'll idolise an 18yo and feel lucky he will give them the time of day. They won't criticise him. He'll be able to feel like the competent one who has his stuff together, who can be helpful and kind and be appreciated. So maybe he would like to volunteer with Scouts or a reading programme or spend time with younger cousins.

This is such a useful perspective. I can see how friendships with older people would be interesting and much less ‘fraught’ than teen friendships. He feel ‘not good enough’ around kids his own age plus he doesn’t really trust them now. He thinks they’re preoccupied with being popular and running with the herd, even if that means trampling some underfoot. I think he’s right. It’s so cruel being young sometimes.

OP posts:

JoeySchoolOfActing · 29/01/2025 00:29

Another one coming on to suggest climbing. One of my kids goes regularly and it's done wonders for her social life as well as her physical and mental health. Our local climbing gyms are all really welcoming. Good luck

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