Am I being unreasonable or was last night just odd?

[meldgaard0]

Hi all,

So last night has left me feeling a bit… off, and I just need to know if anyone else would feel the same or if I’m overthinking.

We went round to a friend’s house for dinner. Nothing fancy, just a casual catch-up. When we arrived, everything seemed fine, but as the evening went on, it just felt a bit weird. They kept mentioning how “last-minute” everything was and apologising for the food (which was actually fine, by the way), but they kept going on and on about it to the point where it felt awkward.

Then halfway through the evening, their dog came into the dining room (not a problem, I love dogs), but they started feeding it bits from the table. Like, actual scraps of what was on our plates. I get that some people do that at home, but when you’ve got guests? I just found it a bit gross.

The whole vibe was just… strange. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it felt like they didn’t actually want us there? We left around 10ish, and on the drive home, my OH said he felt the same – like something was just off.

Am I reading too much into this, or was it just one of those nights?

Would love to know what others would think in this situation.

Thanks in advance x

Who was saying the "last minute/impromptu" comments OP - the one who invited you or the other one?

It is, though admittedly Wet Meg was in the middle of some disastrous attempt at jam-making, and flounces off upstairs, and John 'Incredibly Boring' Brooke does at least feed his guest on bread and meat and take him off somewhere.

I love how even though they clearly seemed really flustered and it felt off you continued to stay until 10!!!

Maybe they had just received some bad news? Or were out for the day got back late and were stressed about the meal? Or something happened in the house they needed to fix and they didn’t want to share it with you? The house was a dump and they were pooped tidying it up? Etc whatever it was was nothing to do with you, calm your tits.

and as for the dog how is that even a problem?!

You are assuming he told his DW a week ago at the same time he invited you but maybe he forgot and told her the day you were coming!

@Knockgour poor Meg. She's not wet. She's left a widow way too young and does a pretty good job with her lot if you ask me.

She only flounces when John roars with laughter in her face at the idea that the jelly
won’t jell!

There’s such a sad story about this - the ‘real’ Meg was left widowed when her husband, who was the model for John, died suddenly. Louisa wrote Little Men to make some money for her widowed sister and her children.

Did you overstay your welcome OP
Only a friend of mine called in from work last night, after her work , she stayed 3 hours 😭😱
DH wanted to watch the rugby and we both wanted our tea and she was oblivious. She only went when Dh came in and turned the rugby on . Normally l would be furious with him for being so ignorant but l was glad . She would still be here if he hadn't!

How is giving the dog a leftover or two "gross?!" 🤨 Were you planning on eating everybody else's leftovers? I don't get how an animal eating something after every adult has finished, is in any way disgusting?

I was thinking this. If things felt awkward they might have been trying to put on a good face because something had happened. I had this odd feeling once at a friend's place and months later she told me they'd had a blazing row just before we got there

They probably forgot.

I am a dog lover but dogs we have owned have never been fed from the table. They are in their bed when we eat. In cotrast, friends allow their dogs to sit on a chair with them when they eat :(
BUT, all owners (like parents of kids) have different expectations / standards . Plus, it is their house !

oops wrong thread

"and as for the dog how is that even a problem"

You don't think it odd to reach over to someone else's plate to feed a dog from it?

I don't think op needs to be told to calm her tits. I'm sure her tits are already perfectly calm! She was just asking for a sense check - not sure the exasperation is quite needed?

Apologies I see they didn't actually take food off the OP's plate, so I stand corrected!

I don’t get it either. If you pick it up with your hand and feed it to the dog, then it’s not affecting anyone else’s hygiene whatsoever. But people on MN are very odd about both hygiene and dogs so I’m not surprised people are being OTT about it.

Imo feeding a dog with guests leftovers is about far more than hygiene. If it was acceptable it would also be acceptable for the host to Polish off leftovers while clearing the table. It's basically bad manners & lacking in any form of respect for the guests. The host is perfectly entitled to feed the dog the leftovers but not at the table but again each to their own.

But the op clarified it wasn’t her plate, but the host’s, after all.

also don’t get the disrespect angle. If everyone has finished eating, chucking the dog a scrap is no big deal, surely?

They probably had a barney before you arrived and you've picked up on the bad atmosphere

Sounds like a row

maybe one didn't tell the other one or didn't get the food shop hence all the "last minute" comments.

the dog thing is irrelevant

The dog thing wouldn't bother me at all (and I'm not a dog person). I think Husband invited you, didn't tell Wife until the day of, and all the 'last minute' comments were her (very understandable!) passive-aggressive way of having a go at him. They're probably both feeling much worse about it than you.

How do we know? We weren't there.
You haven't said anything particularly odd.

Omg don't say this!
Just move on fgs.

Did you compliment the food? Maybe she was apologising about it being last minute because you didn't say the food was amazing so it made her feel insecure, therefore she felt the need to start apologising and feeding the food to the dog instead?