Guest turning the heating on

[2petrabbits]

Just to be clear I’m not upset about this. To me it’s a bit audacious as I would never do this in someone else’s home and now I’m wondering if I’m the oddball. I’m more amused than upset.

We have our heating on a timer. It can only be changed at the boiler, which is in the utility room, which I do not give guests a tour of.

Last night guest is in bed and we’re getting ready for bed when my husband realises the heating is on outside the schedule. He investigates and sure enough it has been set to “always on”.

It could only have been the guest but I’m kind of surprise:

1. they didn’t just ask
2. they found the boiler
3. they felt brave enough to move it off someone else’s timed setting
4. they didn’t turn it off before bed

our heating bills are really high because my husband works from home and feels the cold easily, so I’m not worried about a scary bill but the guest doesn’t know that?

also, sleeping with the heating on is my pet hate!

They should've asked.

That said, it sounds like you run warmer than a lot of people so maybe it would be wise to get one of those little electric heaters for guests in future/have some other discussion about what to do if they're cold?

Your post made me chuckle because that is the sort of thing my OH would have no qualms about doing. He’s always been that way. Turns out, he has Aspergers but I love that aspect of him. He is the sort of person who if you saw a door with ‘private’ on it, he will open it, just to see what’s on the other side.🤷‍♀️

It’s totally wrong of him. Surely everyone knows that these days for many people, a warm house is classed as a luxury. A few years ago it would have been different but energy bills are huge now. Thoughtless.

If you can't afford to heat your home adequately, you can't afford to have guests.

Really? Ffs!!

Ours is off completely at night. If newborn babies should be in a room at 18c , I hardly think an adult will be freezing at 16 under a warm duvet, no doubt in pyjamas!

Don't touch the heating, it's that simple. Im a single man and mine is only ever set to 16c if daughter is round 18c. That's it if you want to be warmer then cover up.

I feel the cold terribly despite lits,of layersso I'd find anything under 19 unbearable but I'd never touch someone's heating - I'd wear pj's, socks etc.

I ask guests to turn on the heating if needed.

I would never mess with other peoples' boiler. I would ask for a blanket.

Totally disagree, people feel the heat differently, I work in an office and the girls are always cold yet the men never are, I would rather be to cold than to hot and there are always arguments over the heating in work as we then have to open the windows. I wouldn't mind so much if it were a comfortable setting but it's from normal to suddenly 28c, which when I think 16c is comfortable is a drastic change.

I have actually read a report on this and it turns out the report stated this is the biggest reason why men and women should not work together. I also read that men use more energy than men because they drive more (so use more fuel) however, I am sure if they took into account energy from unnecessary heating they would change their views.

Honestly, ask them. If their room is cold, you might need to address that.

@Iceboy80
How about some more respect.
Men and girls you mean men and women.

Men generally have more muscle mass and muscles do work and generate heat, but the reason women feel the cold more than men is a little more complicated than that. It is down to a hardwired survival system where if a woman's body starts to cool down below comfort level, the circulatory system restricts blood flow to the extremities (i.e. hands and feet) to keep as much warm blood flowing through the core. The extremities thus cool quicker than for a man and it is the cold hands/feet that signal to the brain they are too cold. You have a similar situation in summer where the men want the AC on because they are too hot but the women object.

It was always a bugbear for me playing bridge at the local bridge club in summer which had a long row of west facing windows meaning the room really heated up on a sunny summer afternoon. By the time play started in the evening it could be 30C in there with no airflow, yet there were nearly always one or two women that objected to the air con and in extreme cases even complained when a window was opened.

They were rude!
But maybe check with guests in future if they are warm enough before they go hunting for your thermostat!

Absolutely unacceptable for a guest to alter heating. I would never dream of doing that. Put on a pair of sock, an extra t shirt, put up with it.
If it's a long stay or there are health issues involved, then ask politely if the heating can be left on for longer, perhsps at a lower setting.
But meddling with the boiler when you are a guest? Very bad manners.

It’s very common for me to wake up in the night and be so cold in someone else’s house that I can’t get back to sleep even with warm pajamas and a warm blanket. I often find hosts very unwilling to offer much more heat, and it creates an awkward situation. However, I probably wouldn’t just adjust it on my own even though I’d be shivering and miserable.

I always ask guests if they're warm enough. If they're not ill put the heating on, but not to all night! Xx

Curious how long your guests were staying with and if they intended to reset the timer to your previous settings @2petrabbits Absolutely YANBU

That really made me laugh too! Guests are not some luxury to have. Living where e we live, hosting is often more of an obligation. I would love to have the funds to put any visitors up in a hotel!

They must’ve been freezing. I hate visiting people that have cold houses.

I hate visiting people who have hot, stuffy, houses, but I do not take it upon myself to mess with their heating! That's really weird from a guest, and they could easily have said they were cold.

I stayed at someone’s house over Christmas. Was very grateful for the lovely hospitality. I woke up sweating and the radiators were too hot to touch. I turned it off in the room and back up in the morning. Would not have dreamed of going to find the boiler to switch it off for everyone

@2petrabbits might have missed it but was it a relative of yours or your husbands????

Husband’s childhood friend

Yes, really, or at least you tell them in advance what the temperature will be. Hardly fair to invite someone (or accept their request to stay) for them only to find out once they're there that they're going to be cold for the duration of their stay.

It's not like food where the person can bring their own food. Your guest is reliant on your being able to heat the home.