Guest turning the heating on

[2petrabbits]

Just to be clear I’m not upset about this. To me it’s a bit audacious as I would never do this in someone else’s home and now I’m wondering if I’m the oddball. I’m more amused than upset.

We have our heating on a timer. It can only be changed at the boiler, which is in the utility room, which I do not give guests a tour of.

Last night guest is in bed and we’re getting ready for bed when my husband realises the heating is on outside the schedule. He investigates and sure enough it has been set to “always on”.

It could only have been the guest but I’m kind of surprise:

1. they didn’t just ask
2. they found the boiler
3. they felt brave enough to move it off someone else’s timed setting
4. they didn’t turn it off before bed

our heating bills are really high because my husband works from home and feels the cold easily, so I’m not worried about a scary bill but the guest doesn’t know that?

also, sleeping with the heating on is my pet hate!

That kind of attitute really pisses me off.
why having a guest or agreed to have guest and being so nasty that you dont want them comfortable.
if you cant afford, dont invite guests into your home.

Damn your house must have been really cold for them to do that

I think they should of asked but how embarrassing they were that cold they had to go and hunt the boiler down for some warmth

This also crossed my mind because he would be happier in a desert, but the setting was one he doesn’t use because the ‘always on’ clears the set times and he definitely wouldn’t be able to live without those! But maybe he did it be accident earlier in the day idk. He was pretty annoyed about having to put the times back in and spoke to the guest, who is his friend.

To everyone asking if the house was cold, we don’t lose much heat. When I get up before the heating comes on in the morning, we have never been below 16C. Right now the heating has been off for 1 hour and we’re still at 19C. To me these temperatures aren’t cold, but I clearly see they must have been for him.

Regarding the guest’s comfort, I was feeling very toasty last night (because the heating was still on!) so it didn’t even cross my mind to ask. He has a winter duvet and fleece blanket on the bed in his room plus assorted wool blankets on shelves that I’m sure he’d feel he could reach for.

But maybe I should just take it as a sign he feels at home!

@2petrabbits I went to stay at Mum's for a few nights and the bedroom was freezing {Frosty outside}
The radiator in my room had been turned off- I turned it on, but made sure to turn it off before I went home.

I'd not turn on the heating in someone else's home.

But my house used to be cold, and people did complain - 16 degrees C was all I could afford at the time. {Used hot water bottles at night}

I think if you are hosting someone then it's polite to ask them if they are feeling comfortable and in the winter if they are warm enough.

Umm???

I said I was amused because he felt so confident to do this. Where did I say that I didn’t want him to be comfortable? I’d have been happy to turn it on if he asked.

As it was, the house was very warm because the heating was on and therefore wasn’t concerned anyone was cold. We only found out why it was warm once the guest was in bed.

Anyway, we’re having a very nice visit.

It is rude, and it sounds like he had plenty to keep warm but just felt entitled to do as he pleases with your boiler, I'd tell him not to do it again tbh.
I get quite ill if I sleep in a house that's too warm, I've been known to crack the window open in winter.

And if the host forgets to do that, does that absolve a guest from any obligation to ask before turning the heating to always on?

I used to have to ring my mum before any visit to get her to put the heating on. It was usually so cold otherwise that my daughter refused to go. Don't even get me started over the arguments over putting the light on versus sitting in near darkness. It got to the point where I said we would not be visiting again to sit in the cold and dark.

I’d be so embarrassed if my visitors were so cold that they had to find the boiler and turned the heating up.

I stayed at a friends last year and was awake the whole night, and my feet became so cold that I had cramp in my legs. It was painful and I couldn’t leave quick enough the en t day .

i would have been so embarrassed if this had happened in my house.

if much prefer that they felt comfortable enough to turn the heating on, especially if I hadn’t provided them with extra duvet/blankets

If the guest was a close family member (sibling /parent) I wouldn’t mind, anyone else I would consider it very cheeky and brazen, if they felt cold they could have asked you to turn the heating on / up,

Do they have form for brazen behaviour?

I would not be more amused than annoyed, I'd be more annoyed.
If my guest is cold I provide things to warm them up, but having the heating on all the time is impossibly extravagant and also my pet hate.

I wouldn't do that but as a host I would have checked if my guests were comfortable and changed it myself.

You said at 9:00 that the heating had been off for an hour. Why would you turn the heating off at 8:00pm when you have a visitor? 19 isn’t warm.

Massively cheeky of them. I can’t stand heating on overnight. Would rather add more blankets.

It's not about not caring about a guest's comfort. Helping yourself to someone else's central heating without asking is not the action of a good guest.
They can be warmed up at night with extra duvets and hot water bottles. The only have to ask.
If they are cold during the day, a small heater can be put on in the room they are sitting in.
My central heating costs £1.50 an hour to run, and I can't afford to have it on all day let alone all night.

I think adjusting the radiator in your room is fine but finding the boiler and changing the heating for the whole household is massively overstepping.

You wouldn’t do it in a hotel though would you?

Maybe they didn’t do it though. Maybe it turned itself on….

No matter how cold I was, I would ever do this.

I just knew it'd be a man, a woman would ask, she wouldn't go trifling through parts of the house you hadn't shown them and play around with your boiler.

A guest should not incur extra costs on their hosts without their permission

Whilst good hosting seeks to create basic comfort for their guest (if invited) it does not mean that a guest gets to dictate their living standards.

And yet people here think it's fine for someone to take it upon themselves to turn up the heating.

Is it also okay if they start cooking the food from the freezer, go rifling in their host's makeup/toiletries if they feel like it and what the hell, perhaps they can take their car for a spin.

Any guest that ever tried this in my house would never be invited again. In fact as I would notice pretty much straight away that it was too hot overnight I would be going down and turning it off. If the guest complained then they would be invited to leave immediately.

Luckily no-one of my accquaintance has ever done something so rude.

I’d hate to think of guests feeling cold - it’s miserable.
We never have the heating on at night, but it’s very warm during the day - and our guest bedroom has an electric blanket.

It was a bit cheeky of him but if he genuinely was cold he should have mentioned that he felt that way. Unless he's one of these people who refuses to wear winter woollies and is permanently in t shirt/shorts when indoors and therefore is used to his heating being on practically 24/7 at 90 degrees.
My DH is always a hot bod whereas I would wear a jumper and a throw if I felt cold. But that said, even he was cold when we went to my DS's one weekend and DH had refused to pack a jumper/fleece - said he would be fine!! He won't ever make that mistake again. ⛄