Guest turning the heating on

[2petrabbits]

Just to be clear I’m not upset about this. To me it’s a bit audacious as I would never do this in someone else’s home and now I’m wondering if I’m the oddball. I’m more amused than upset.

We have our heating on a timer. It can only be changed at the boiler, which is in the utility room, which I do not give guests a tour of.

Last night guest is in bed and we’re getting ready for bed when my husband realises the heating is on outside the schedule. He investigates and sure enough it has been set to “always on”.

It could only have been the guest but I’m kind of surprise:

1. they didn’t just ask
2. they found the boiler
3. they felt brave enough to move it off someone else’s timed setting
4. they didn’t turn it off before bed

our heating bills are really high because my husband works from home and feels the cold easily, so I’m not worried about a scary bill but the guest doesn’t know that?

also, sleeping with the heating on is my pet hate!

Who is the guest?
I would thing it polite to ask, but I would also think if hosting to check whether the guest is ok and despite the cost, put the heating on longer than usual.

If you're certain it's not a fault on your system I would ask the guest if you can do anything to help them be more comfortable
It's a light acknowledgement that you've noticed,obviously if you're very closely related be more direct.
I think it's beyond rude to actually go and look for the boiler
They don't know you can afford it and it's ridiculous to leave it on all night
I actually feel unwell in an overheated home.

Depends who your guests are? I've definitely sent dh away to get the heating on at mil's house. And I'd take matters into my own hands at my parents.

My in-laws kept their house at 14 degrees and it was fucking freezing, but they refused to turn it up as it was too hot.

Do they rarely have heating on at all?

Ours doesn't get down to that overnight with the heating off.

Not sure what it would go down to if the heating wasn't on at all in this weather though!

There's already been a long thread about this - maybe many of them. Obviously people have different opinions. For me it's the height of rudeness to let a guest be cold. On the other hand, a bedroom does not need to be heated when someone is sleeping if there are enough blankets and potentially a hot water bottle so for me it depends what time it was when they put the heating on.

Is very odd not to ask first but maybe he was freezing and you weren’t about to ask? Is your house freezing? I hate going to my husband’s best friends house, their house is Baltic! There heating doesn’t come on unless it goes below 15!

I live in a flat so it never gets as cold as a house would, but my bedroom is regularly 14C in the morning. I don't heat it (big duvet and hot water bottle), but obviously some heat seeps up from downstairs.

Making someone hang around in 14C downstairs is just cruel and I would just avoid those in-laws all winter.

I'd offer a) a blanket, b) a hot waterbottle and c) warm knitwear so they have an extra layer.

I would not offer a portable heater for their room as they'd probably run it all night.

I would also point out that having the heating on all night will make others feel overheated and uncomfortable, as well as driving up bills.

that is cheeky, id wrap up, and unless i forget then i prefer to turn my heating down when going to bed,

Wow I lived with my PiL for three years as a teenager and was told to put the heating on whenever I needed and was shown how to use it- I still never did as I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone or cost extra. I definitely wouldn’t have the audacity as an adult. Do they have warm clothes and blankets though? I wouldn’t want a guest to feel cold in my home so I wouldn’t say anything but I think my face would show my shock.

I always turn the heating on more when I have visitors. I'd be mortified if they had to raise that they were cold.

It really depends on the guest. I think it is really very rude but if my children were staying they would just do it because they know I would just OK it and wouldn’t want them to be cold.
It wouldn’t happen in my house as most people are too hot here. I would ask why they did it and tell them you don’t sleep well if the heating is on overnight.

What's the nature of the visit and how long are they staying? Please ignore messages about not inviting them back etc. people go too far on here.

Generally it's polite to ask but if you were already in bed and they were cold I think it's ruder to leave a guest feeling they need extra warmth. If they're staying longer, offer another thick blanket, got water bottle, show them how to put on an extra hour etc but it's not a huge deal.

If it was anyone I know, they're aware of energy costs so I'd assume they were freezing in the night

Gobsmackingly rude.

Deppends how cold it was. It has been very bad weather, i woke up freezing last night. It's not fair to leave someone in cold conditions. I would have asked if they were warm enough or left the heating on low if it was a cold night.

I'm betting MIL 😂❄

I think it's extremely rude to stick your hosts with higher heating costs to suit yourself. By the same token, a host should do their utmost to make sure their guest is comfortable. It's not always straightforward; what suits one person might not suit the next, but hot water bottles, extra blankets and throws can make all the difference. And I agree with you OP about heated bedrooms - I don't like them either. My ideal sleeping environment is a cold room (with the window open in all weather that isn't literally Baltic) a heavy duvet and a hot water bottle. But I know others who can't stand a cold room, especially some people with chest complaints. We are all different.

Hmm, it’s a bit rude yes, and I hate the heating on at night. But why are your heating bills really high? Surely your dh should only be heating one room when wfh.

They shouldn’t have touched your heating settings but you should also make sure that they are not cold in your house

We keep the house cool at night as both are hot bunnies. Guest last weekend said he was cold at night (heating on 13 degrees celsius from 11pm to 6am). We gave him an extra duvet and an oil radiator. I'm not making myself uncomfortable for guest. If they don't like it they can stay elsewhere and pay. If he'd changed the thermostat without asking I would have really had a go at him.

I've been that guest. Freezing down to chattering teeth and my host looking at me like I was mad when I begged her to put the heating on. And that's just the tip of the iceberg on her version of "hosting" including nothing to eat.

İf I have a guest and the heating is off, I'll always check with them if they're warm enough and invite them to click the heating up if they need to and offer to put it on low overnight should they feel cold.

But would find it a bit odd if they clicked it on without just talking to me about how cold they are.

It’s a bit off of them to turn it on but I’d be embarrassed that they felt the need to do so .

Imagine houses vary, but, completely unheated and in the coldest weather, ie max 1 degree all day outside, my house gets down to: ground floor 11, middle floor 13, top floor 14. Have heard people say their houses go down to 7, though.

Does it ever click on that low? I put mine at 16 overnight because it would never click on any lower and would wake up chilly. Any higher and I'd be too warm as thermostat is in coldest part of the house, annoyingly. (Although I guess they're usually moveable) ...