Teachers I need solidarity before I leave the profession

[Soniastrumpet1984]

I love teaching. I have done it for 22 years.
I am sick of parents moaning. Today has put the tin hat on it.
Here's my situation (this is not exact but an approximation as close to similar as I can get it without putting actual details.)
Let's say I've been teaching French bakery recipes to my cooking club. A local French bakery has offered to host 5 students( in its tiny kitchen) on Saturday morning at 7.30am before they open so they can watch the pastry chef making the items. This is a total favour and just a nice thing they do not have to do. They did this as on my way to work, I was chatting whilst waiting to get my coffee. I as a teacher have agreed to give up my Saturday morning to take them. Every child in cookery club was offered the experience, by email with their parent copied in. It was NOT first come first served, they were clearly told if there's more than 5, we will draw out of a hat. There were more than 5 interested , so I wrote them all on pieces of paper and trotted next door to a different teacher, who came and drew 5 names out. Now I have Two parental complaints demanding to see photos of the slips and why didn't I video the draw and provide evidence. I know it's Friday and I'm tired but fuck I want to leave.

It's a Saturday nice extra

But your daughter feeling sad doesn't mean no one can have anything nice.

Send this (minus the 'fuck you' bit!

By willing to give up her Saturday morning so 5 children rather than none have a lovely experience?? Here we have it! A prime example of why so many teachers have had enough. You can’t win.

Thank you

The 'you can't win' quote sums it up.
When schools stop doing trips, visits, extras, clubs they go down hill.
Parents seem to think clubs are a right. They don't understand its a teacher giving up their break or after school

Please link this thread!

If you were confused about the offer and concerned your child would be so disappointed, then you'd simply not enter their name and risk it surely?

Others can enter their child, explain that only very few can go this time and manage their expectations beforehand - parenting is the way forward.

There will be many times in a child's life, and as they grow to adults, where opportunities arise where only a handful, or even just one, person will get to experience it at a time. It's a good thing to learn.

I wouldn’t reply. Honestly. Let them waste their time taking it further if they want but I wouldn’t waste a single second on them.
No wonder kids have no resilience- disappointment is a normal human emotion we need to learn to cope with.

Completely agree. Some parents are so appreciative and go out of their way to thank you. It is the few who spoil it for the majority.

Disappointment is a normal human emotion and a one they are going to come across many many times in their life. It may sound dramatic but it genuinely feels like society is broken. The social contract is breaking down and individualism is taking over.

Why didn't you use scheduled send, and have it sent during working hours? On most email accounts it's a simple case of tapping 1 or 2 additional buttons before hitting send.

I use this for whenever I send anyone work-based or professional emails

TA's at one time did fun stuff - but now they need full body armour.

A friend really loved children and thought a TA role would be nice, but she too was attacked so badly by a child she 1:1 that she had to give up work.

Some really appalling behaviour about in schools nowadays.

So that some children could have a nice time! Life is full of events that not everyone can do. Why can the kids who didn’t go learn to be please for the ones who did? Surely this is a great opportunity for parents to teach their kids about this!

I think you are the answer to why so many teachers are leaving.

This is how it is in my school. Our Head will categorically not allow parents to email us. They have a very brief contact form that goes to the office and any horrible ones just don’t go to us - they go to SLT who are pretty invariably supportive of staff. I was actually chatting to one of our assistant heads in the pub last night and he said that dealing with everyone’s difficult parents is the absolute worst thing about his job. He certainly has to have some very broad shoulders to hold it all.

Two visits would have been 10 out of 30, rather than 5 - why is that better? And why should the op give up two of her weekends, free of charge? Just so that you don't have to parent your child and help them to develop resilience.

Surely most children learn much younger that they don't always get to do everything every time?

What gets me is the lack of Thankyous after a residential. Maybe 2 or 3 parents say thanks at collection? Then as you say the emails about food not being good enough or lack of photos roll in. So demoralising. I quit being head of year a while ago and never looked back

I've been a teacher a long time, qualified in the 90's and I absolutely refuse to do any sort of school trip anymore. It just isn't worth the hassle

Isn't this so sad? Getting to know the kids through more than lessons used to be the joy of the job. We have more and more staff who feel like this.
I totally agree with a PP who said individualism is taking over.

I don't regret leaving teaching, I did 18 years, that was enough. I moved, within the same school from teacher to Estates Manager, which immediately bumped me up to £50K, we them became an MAT and I became overarching Estates Manager for 3 secondaries and 4 primaries, another big bump up.

I still work in a school setting of course, but love it, I still get involved with school plays, and doing the odd assembly on subjects like heath and safety, not trashing the buildings etc.. but apart from that nothing to do with pupils or parents.

Don't get the holidays of course, but the holidays are vastly different to term time, once the pupils, teachers and office staff have gone, the place fills with various contractors, building site banter, lots of effing and jeffing, pub lunches, head scratching problems etc. a change being as good as a rest.

These are all crazy. My kids have just left school and I would never dream of sending these emails.

I always thanked teachers after a school trip. If I was a teacher, I honestly do not think I could go on any school trip, never mind it was a residential one.

We had many good teachers and some outstanding ones. For the latter, I would always thank them with a gift or card and perhaps more importantly, email the Head to say how much we appreciated the teacher.

The idea of asking for a video evidence of a picking names out the hat just blows my mind.

I work in the NHS, and we also see this level of entitlement. I honestly think that the more I do for some patients, the more they are likely to complain. It is strange.

My NHS email is guessable. But as I have not given it out, I do not respond to any emails sent directly to me.

I wish teachers who are leaving could collar the parents on their last day, and say ‘the reason I’m leaving is you. It is your fault your child no longer has a teacher’.

I’ve had similar, running a residential abroad and parents were told names would be picked at random (after screening by the head of year, only one was removed from almost 100 applicants for 40 places-don’t get me started on number limits, not my choice!) I can’t tell you the trauma it’s causing this year, first time in 30 years of teaching. ‘Tell me how I can justify this to my autistic child’, shouting down the phone, rude entitled emails, one parent telling me her child should be prioritised because of her great behaviour (as great as those chosen, it’s a good school) and that I’ve chosen children with poor behaviour when someone dropped out, according to her child, who has no idea who has been chosen. It’s made me not want to organise next year’s now established trip, the only residential in the department and a lot of work on top of the actual job.

I completely feel for you, OP. I recommend the ‘random name picker’ next time, just copy/paste names into it for speed. Being able to explain this has helped but the sheer entitlement of parents and the rudeness has amazed me. I even had one crying because they haven’t been able to go on holiday due to a sibling’s mh! I empathise but not sure why I should therefore prioritise one over another when it’s truly random. 🙈

How dare teachers be trying to teach kids to read and write…

I left 18 months ago ….I genuinely can’t tell you how utterly life changing it has been. I simply had no idea how anxious and stressed I’d become ….the boiling frog analogy. I’m like a whole new person - happy and healthy. Parents and there utter inability to parent their children were the reason I let.

This is the first year ever my school can’t run Duke of Edinburgh as no staff will volunteer to do it. It is touch and go whether the annual Language residential will go ahead and it’s all because of the increasing parental complaints.

So sad. And on a practical note, something uni and employers look for as a rounded out young person