Teachers I need solidarity before I leave the profession

[Soniastrumpet1984]

I love teaching. I have done it for 22 years.
I am sick of parents moaning. Today has put the tin hat on it.
Here's my situation (this is not exact but an approximation as close to similar as I can get it without putting actual details.)
Let's say I've been teaching French bakery recipes to my cooking club. A local French bakery has offered to host 5 students( in its tiny kitchen) on Saturday morning at 7.30am before they open so they can watch the pastry chef making the items. This is a total favour and just a nice thing they do not have to do. They did this as on my way to work, I was chatting whilst waiting to get my coffee. I as a teacher have agreed to give up my Saturday morning to take them. Every child in cookery club was offered the experience, by email with their parent copied in. It was NOT first come first served, they were clearly told if there's more than 5, we will draw out of a hat. There were more than 5 interested , so I wrote them all on pieces of paper and trotted next door to a different teacher, who came and drew 5 names out. Now I have Two parental complaints demanding to see photos of the slips and why didn't I video the draw and provide evidence. I know it's Friday and I'm tired but fuck I want to leave.

I'm not one of those parents if you're referring to me.

Teachers really aren't that special

I think it's just one of those things you're going to have to teach your child they'll have to deal with. The world won't change for them and that's sad but it's the truth

Most schools do better than this if a child has diet needs. At my daughter's primary school the lady in charge of the kitchen has responsibility for providing snacks/sweets at speciel occassions. She knows how to handle it and the teachers can consult her.
I would consider attending another school.

For our coeliac guide we obviously buy what she can have as far as possible but have asked mum to provide a snack box for cupboard just in case. I’d ask school if you can do similar then if someone brings in sweets or chocolate to share she can have something safe.

Don't mind not being thanked. Just feel sad for the children who are not developing life skills because of parents that step in / give in / blame everyone else and expect teachers to do the same. Developing the skills to manage disappointment, disagreements, unfairness, sadness etc are so important and we are growing humans that are deficit in these skills. A bit of rough play, a disagreement with friends, not being chosen, not winning, losing, finding your own lost cardigan, trying a food you are not keen on, having a go at something you don't enjoy or find challenging, sitting next to someone who is not your best friend, problem solving yourself to sort out an issue etc etc etc - are all necessary, important skills. Parents should be teaching their children these life skills. Most teachers (even with children as young as four) are doing their best to develop this independence for the pupils in their class (alongside all the other shit). Some (definitely not all) parents are hindering social development by stepping in at every tiny issue and also modelling complaining, confrontational, blaming behaviours to their children.

It's not really about the thank you.

If all teachers said no there would be no trips or clubs.
That’s a pretty joyless experience for children, most remember their yr6 activity holiday as a highlight of primary school.
Plus the longer term impact of kids not getting opportunities to develop resilience and skills.

You don't get a job by having your name picked out of a hat, in fact nothing in life works this way. You try your best at the interview.
Teachers should maybe stick to teaching Monday to Friday.

You would have to be an absolute idiot to think that! 🤣

Sending a link on Teams sounds like a healthy boundary to have, teach during school hours and let parents do the rest.

Don’t worry we know this and she deals with it every day. We always try and provide when we know. We give treat boxes and then they don’t use them. It would be nice at school though if occasionally they made the tiniest effort to include her. The teacher buying something for her just once when she buys things for other children every Friday would mean so much to her.

Oh you're a joy

@porridgebath

Then don't do it. Seriously. I see so many teachers on here moaning and they don't have to be teachers. It's OK to admit you made the wrong career choice. Get an office job where you don't have to deal direct with clients or something if people annoy you so much

They aren't. Many young staff don't run trips or even agree to go. Lots of teachers are leaving.

It's not about the extra hours. It’s the parents complaining that is the issue!

I do quite a lot of extra curricular events & rarely see young staff taking kids out of school.

@porridgebath

Just do your job then. No one asked you to be a martyr and take their kids away

Well that is basically what is happening. Teachers aren't up for spending 24/7 with a load of kids if they are not getting so much as a thank you & in some cases a load of moaning.

I think in primary staff are generally expected to take their class away. So I don't think they are being martyrs.

I think parents with your attitude aren't helping with the current situation where there's fewer teachers training than leaving. It doesn't take much to say thank you 🤷🏻‍♀️

Teachers shouldn't be put on a pedestal by expecting basic manners from parents. 👍

Are the staff aware of her allergies?

Parents at our school are generally really good and the sweets they bring in for birthdays are ones that can usually be given out to all children. One of our children also has a box of treats the parents provided for any occasion where the sweets are not ok for their child so they aren't left out.
At the end of year generally anything given to the children is not food related e.g. bubbles.

Not sure why you don't talk to the staff so they know what they could offer, or provide a few bits yourself.

@porridgebath

There we go then, you enjoy it

I enjoy giving students the opportunity to do something that helps them. I think the amount of work it involves is worth it. But a thank you on collection would be really nice. I wouldn't be expecting a big fuss or an email or a card. Just a smile & a wave when they collect.

I always thank people like bus drivers, waitresses, shop staff. So it's not too hard to do. They are also being paid to do their job.

I can’t tell if you are joking or just being a twat

First me it's not about being thanked, it's about being moaned at and complained about for the most ridiculous things. Which is even more annoying when I've given up my own time to put on extra activities and experiences for no extra pay. So I don't do it any more. I have 25 years classroom experience across the 3 primary key stages, that experience is now lost.

I find this thread fascinating having returned to supply teaching (primary) after a long break. @porridgebath , your wishes are very much coming true. Teaching is now as dull as ditchwater. Everything (honestly, everything) is ‘taught’ from an expensive scheme on PowerPoint slides. Residential trips are rare. There are far fewer class day trips and almost no clubs (unless there are paid-for ones run by external agencies.) Quiet children are left to flounder in giant classes full of SEND.
Most younger teachers I’ve got to know simply don’t care about anything parents say (they love the emails from ‘those’ parents, as it gives them something to laugh about at the pub). They like the children and want them to do well, but they just do the job as set out by the schemes and go home (or to the pub.) And good on them.
So, OP, I would honestly just do the bare minimum in school. And maybe run your lovely club privately, for actual money.

They don't complain if people don't thank them

I've brought my children up to thank freely. Manners cost nothing. We thank shop staff, sports coaches, waiting staff, someone holding a door etc. it's better that way than being a dick.

We have done everything everyone has suggested and more. The difficulty is that her teacher is not concerned about her missing out and so it gets us nowhere. We just have a teacher that thinks dietary requirements are something to not concern herself with period.

Are you in Uk? I’m surprised at a teacher buying and giving sweet treats weekly there’s usually school policies re healthy eating.

Yes. They tend to bring things in fairly regularly. Such is life.

@porridgebath

They don't complain if people don't thank them

Well no neither do I usually but it is just surprising that after being away all week overnight parents just grab & go.

It seems that parents are expecting trips & residentials. As another poster mentioned the younger staff are working far more to rule & don’t care as much about stroppy emails. Maybe they have the right idea?

The issue with that of course is that some students won't ever go away as their parents aren't able to (or don't want to) facilitate it. So their children might not ever go on a residential or a trip to London.