Page 7 | Teachers I need solidarity before I leave the profession

Bethany83 · 24/01/2025 23:07

A colleague of mine received a horrible email years ago from an ongoing pita parent. She forwarded the email to her colleague, quite rightly ranting about this unreasonable and horrible parent and how the parent doesn't get how hard they all work, never appreciates anything etc etc. However, she hadnt forwarded the email but had accidentally replied to the parent. This was a Friday evening and she realised what she had done.she felt sick all weekend worrying. However, Monday she received a bunch of flowers and an apology from the parent. The email had clearly opened this parent's eyes!

ridl14 · 24/01/2025 23:12

Soniastrumpet1984 · 24/01/2025 17:38

I love teaching. I have done it for 22 years.
I am sick of parents moaning. Today has put the tin hat on it.
Here's my situation (this is not exact but an approximation as close to similar as I can get it without putting actual details.)
Let's say I've been teaching French bakery recipes to my cooking club. A local French bakery has offered to host 5 students( in its tiny kitchen) on Saturday morning at 7.30am before they open so they can watch the pastry chef making the items. This is a total favour and just a nice thing they do not have to do. They did this as on my way to work, I was chatting whilst waiting to get my coffee. I as a teacher have agreed to give up my Saturday morning to take them. Every child in cookery club was offered the experience, by email with their parent copied in. It was NOT first come first served, they were clearly told if there's more than 5, we will draw out of a hat. There were more than 5 interested , so I wrote them all on pieces of paper and trotted next door to a different teacher, who came and drew 5 names out. Now I have Two parental complaints demanding to see photos of the slips and why didn't I video the draw and provide evidence. I know it's Friday and I'm tired but fuck I want to leave.

Absolutely ridiculous!!! Ignore, ignore, ignore let SLT deal with it if it warrants a response.

If it helps, last year I had a teenager shout at me asking why I even became a teacher when I'm so shit at it (they'd been using their phone in class and I spoke to them privately) - told their mum who asked me in an email with caps whether I ever stopped to ask them about their feelings...

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 24/01/2025 23:12

100PercentFaithful · 24/01/2025 21:37

We have a parent at school who is that parent.
Complains about everything. I think she just wants attention herself despite being well educated, well to do and in a good job.
The result of her endless complaining is all the staff dislike her and her child.
Everyone dreads getting her kid in their class.
Everyone is defensive and guarded and falsely naice to her (through gritted teeth).
Everyone is extremely guarded with every dealing with her child.

Her child has zero resilience. Absolutely none.

He cries and whinges over everything.
Mum will sort every single trivial thing out for him. He will grow into a Trump-like adult and will no doubt be a terrible husband.

I have to disagree on the last part - he will be Trump like in attitude sure but won’t land or keep a job, will never have a successful relationship and continue to run to his mother.

Solving a kids problems their whole life will make them exceptionally unable to deal with life and never make them a good partner. Epic failure parenting.

ridl14 · 24/01/2025 23:12

Bethany83 · 24/01/2025 23:07

A colleague of mine received a horrible email years ago from an ongoing pita parent. She forwarded the email to her colleague, quite rightly ranting about this unreasonable and horrible parent and how the parent doesn't get how hard they all work, never appreciates anything etc etc. However, she hadnt forwarded the email but had accidentally replied to the parent. This was a Friday evening and she realised what she had done.she felt sick all weekend worrying. However, Monday she received a bunch of flowers and an apology from the parent. The email had clearly opened this parent's eyes!

Gosh that's lucky!

FattyFattyBooomBoom · 24/01/2025 23:16

Ignore the parents, concentrate on the kids

(I know it’s easier said than done, I’m a teacher and live in a small village, it’s an absolute nightmare)

TizerorFizz · 24/01/2025 23:17

Hopefully the kids who didn’t get to go.

Sweetbeansandmochi · 24/01/2025 23:20

My real reply is ignore it.

But I would like to say:

Dear Parents,
Seeing as you do not trust me to honestly pull names out of a hat, I cannot see how you would trust me to supervise your children, on a trip. So, probably just as well they didn’t get picked.

StinkerTroll · 24/01/2025 23:21

My absolute favourite e mail interaction with a teacher was with a much loved music teacher, she was leaving so I sent her a card saying how much we'd appreciated her support over the years and we'd miss her, love, stinkertroll, p.s. the kazoo you sent home during covid was a mistake!

I got an e mail back saying thank you for the card and your dd has something for you, the witch sent me a bloody kazoo!! I promptly recorded myself playing 'it's a small world after all' and e mailed it to her, she was so pleased with it she turned it into her ring tone one of the other teachers told me at a later date!!! I miss her 🤣 (but why anyone would turn such a hideous song played by someone who doesn't have a musical bone in her body into a ring tone is beyond me!!!)

Walkden · 24/01/2025 23:42

"Solving a kids problems their whole life will make them exceptionally unable to deal with life and never make them a good partner. Epic failure parenting."

This. "Snow flake generation." explained right there

Cybertron · 25/01/2025 00:09

I once had a kid (secondary school) walk into my lesson eating a Cornetto. I told him to put it in the bin. He swore at me then stormed out of the classroom. I spoke to his mum who said that I had made a big mistake. “He doesn’t like being told no, never challenge him and you will be fine”. I explained that I would tell him no, when he broke the rules. She replied that she couldn’t help me then, they knew in their house never to challenge him. He was 11!

DrMadelineMaxwell · 25/01/2025 00:17

Sugarcoldturkey · 24/01/2025 18:41

God this. Drives me up the wall. We are looking after their kids 24/7 for a 5 days straight and all the parents can do is complain we're not taking enough pictures!

So many parents are such deeply horrible people. Which, of course, isn't specifically because they are parents but instead it's representative of the population as a whole.

It really makes me feel sad about society and about the future.

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I took a y6 group to a residential and a parent sarcastically asked on Twitter whether his child was on the trip as he couldn't see them in the photos of one part of the trip.

The photos were of the parallel class doing that part of the trip and my class hadn't done it yet at that point.

One nice parent countered with a message saying thank you to the staff who were taking the time to look after the kids and to keep the parents updated with lovely photos.

BlackeyedSusan · 25/01/2025 00:31

Soniastrumpet1984 · 24/01/2025 18:43

'My child is disappointed ' seems to be something that we have to now alleviate instead of parents just saying 'oh well you'll get over it'

Picking out hat is great. Much prefer this.

Our school gives priority to those who have not been on previous trips. This is also great.

So much is expected of teachers these days. Our secondary teachers are doing so many extras.

BeDeepKoala · 25/01/2025 00:31

LividNewYear · 24/01/2025 21:54

Had almost identical issue as this a few years ago.

Had a trip with eg 50 places. 100 applicants. Couldn't do exactly names in a hat due to rules about numbers of pupil premium and SEND children being representative, including the young carers who never get a trip, numbers of additional staff for the students with disabilities who need 1-2-1 etc etc. The trip, which would take four hours of my evening for obvs no additional pay, took approx 30 hours of time I didn't have in admin and planning beforehand.

One excoriating email from one particular parent about how Little Johnny should have been on the trip, calling my professionalism and dedication to the children into question, nearly sent me genuinely over the edge. I wish I could copy it here so you can know how batshit it was but honestly it was so rude. To be clear, LJ visited the location at least monthly already with his family and was deprived of nothing except manners.

Mrs Johnny was told he would absolutely have first dibs on the next trip.

I never ran a trip again.

This is 100% your fault though (or your schools fault)

if you are picking kids randomly or based on some objective criteria (like a competition) then the parents have nothing to complain about and should be told to get lost.

However thats not what you did -- you had a blatently unfair selection criteria where you handpicked certain children,. Of course thats going to cause resentment, and the resentment is 100% justified

BeDeepKoala · 25/01/2025 00:33

BeDeepKoala · 25/01/2025 00:31

This is 100% your fault though (or your schools fault)

if you are picking kids randomly or based on some objective criteria (like a competition) then the parents have nothing to complain about and should be told to get lost.

However thats not what you did -- you had a blatently unfair selection criteria where you handpicked certain children,. Of course thats going to cause resentment, and the resentment is 100% justified

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Also let me guess, the kids that were hand-picked to go were disproportionately the disruptive and badly behaved ones from the bottom end of the class whereas all the normal well-behaved kids were more likely to miss out, right?

BlackeyedSusan · 25/01/2025 00:41

brummumma · 24/01/2025 20:32

It's not quite the same as a nativity is it though? Everyone has some part to play in the nativity and not everyone wants to play Mary most kids are happy with a reading or just a singing part not every kid wants a starring role. What you arranged was an activity that very few children could attend but you knew would be popular? Names in a hat is just a crap way of doing it as most kids (and obviously their parents!) think it's a bit of a rubbish system. Surely a baking competition would have been more appropriate?
I'm Not saying what the parents have done is right - it's batshit - but you've caused the issue here yourself.

Then the kids with money, resources and interested parents get to go and get he poor kids miss out.

Out of a hat is fair. Gives everyone an even chance.

BlackeyedSusan · 25/01/2025 00:51

AllstarFacilier · 24/01/2025 21:35

Oh god I’ve just been reminded of a trip we ran before Christmas. When we got back from school, parents collecting kids parked in the bus bays instead of using the car park, so the buses had to stop in the road to let kids out. One parent left his car parked across the zebra crossing to go into school and complain about how unsafe it was for thus to let the kids out where we did.

Edited

The site manager knocks on the car windows and send them packing. They end up having to park the furthest away. The bus refuses to open the doors until the bus is in the bus bay.

WearyAuldWumman · 25/01/2025 00:58

brummumma · 24/01/2025 20:24

As a parent to be honest I'd wonder why you would offer such an experience when only 5 out of 30 kids had a chance to go? The overwhelming majority of pupils are going to miss out and be disappointed and surely that's not the aim of it? I hate the whole "name out of hats" way of doing a draw - maybe because I've never won anything that way either 😂

You offer it because it’s good if some of these children get the opportunity.

BlackeyedSusan · 25/01/2025 00:59

Macaroni46 · 24/01/2025 22:20

Following a weekend residential (with no time off given in lieu so straight back to school on the Monday) a parent complained that her DD had been made to feel different. This was because children with food allergies were put to the front of the queue and supervised when selecting their food. The children were 8 & 9 so fairly young. Apparently, I should've known that the allergy wasn't that bad (the child had an EpiPen) and close supervision wasn't necessary. Can you imagine what would have happened if the child had had a reaction?

Oh my fuck. That parent is batshit.

Thank you for caring so well for allergic children. Really appreciate someone doing it right.

WearyAuldWumman · 25/01/2025 01:09

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 24/01/2025 21:09

Ah can’t you just wait until these people hit the real world and understand that work isn’t like this.

Can you imagine ‘I feel uncomfortable with the deadline you have given me’.

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We had a girl who quit work experience because she was required to wear tan tights (supplied by the shop where she was supposed to be working).

WearyAuldWumman · 25/01/2025 01:15

Wineinthegarden · 24/01/2025 21:29

It’s just so tiring and so depleting. I try so hard to make things fun but keep being told it’s boring. And parents telling me that their child doesn’t like something or being told that they need to do things. Like writing or reading. I don’t know how they expect me to get them through their GCSEs if I don’t get them to read or write. Just lost and that the joy has gone out of teaching. I still laugh and enjoy being with the kids but it’s definitely not what it was when I came into the job.

We got this when trying to put children through their English exams (Scotland): “He doesn’t like reading and writing.”

tellmesomethingtrue · 25/01/2025 01:28

You should arrange a trip that accommodates all the children. It sounds unfair to only take 5.

WearyAuldWumman · 25/01/2025 01:34

TheMeasure · 24/01/2025 22:55

@TizerorFizz "By the way, clock watching and professional don’t sit well together. Many professions have to go above and beyond."
You thought it was appropriate to come on this thread and tell a bunch of teachers about going "above and beyond?"

"Just think of your pension." Which has been heavily curtailed for many younger teachers and, judging by the mass exodus from the profession, really isn't the draw you assume anymore.

In the course of my teaching career, I was kicked, faced with a knife and punched in the stomach whilst pregnant. (The teenage boy who
punched me wasn’t even one of my pupils - he ran into my room after another pupil during break. For the only time in my teaching career I was trying to keep out of the aggressor’s way.)

I wonder how many other professionals are required to combine their work with crowd control and security work? We didn’t sign up to be policewomen.

There was a great deal of joy in teaching, but overbearing parents and entitled pupils latterly sucked out much of the joy.

Clockwatching? If we had all stuck to our contracts, the system would have collapsed.

Original poster

Soniastrumpet1984 · 25/01/2025 01:47

tellmesomethingtrue · 25/01/2025 01:28

You should arrange a trip that accommodates all the children. It sounds unfair to only take 5.

Wow thanks
Can you solve world hunger now

OP posts:

WearyAuldWumman · 25/01/2025 01:51

Soniastrumpet1984 · 25/01/2025 01:47

Wow thanks
Can you solve world hunger now

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Shhhh. The powers that be will be adding that to the remit before you know it.

BeDeepKoala · 25/01/2025 01:53

WearyAuldWumman · 25/01/2025 01:34

In the course of my teaching career, I was kicked, faced with a knife and punched in the stomach whilst pregnant. (The teenage boy who
punched me wasn’t even one of my pupils - he ran into my room after another pupil during break. For the only time in my teaching career I was trying to keep out of the aggressor’s way.)

I wonder how many other professionals are required to combine their work with crowd control and security work? We didn’t sign up to be policewomen.

There was a great deal of joy in teaching, but overbearing parents and entitled pupils latterly sucked out much of the joy.

Clockwatching? If we had all stuck to our contracts, the system would have collapsed.

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Sure, but teachers arent some kind of unwitting victims of bad policy. Throughout the 20th and 21st centuries, teachers and their unions have generally leaned politically left and supported "progressive" education policy -- reductions in punishment, sympathy for badly behaved children, misguided inclusion policies, etc. A lot of what we are seeing now is just the chickens coming home to roost.

if a government passed a (sesible) policy that kids who repeatedly committed violence should be permanently excluded and if their parents ere unable to care for them or find a new school then tough luck, then teachers (+unions) would be among those clutching their pearls the hardest.