Teachers I need solidarity before I leave the profession

[Soniastrumpet1984]

I love teaching. I have done it for 22 years.
I am sick of parents moaning. Today has put the tin hat on it.
Here's my situation (this is not exact but an approximation as close to similar as I can get it without putting actual details.)
Let's say I've been teaching French bakery recipes to my cooking club. A local French bakery has offered to host 5 students( in its tiny kitchen) on Saturday morning at 7.30am before they open so they can watch the pastry chef making the items. This is a total favour and just a nice thing they do not have to do. They did this as on my way to work, I was chatting whilst waiting to get my coffee. I as a teacher have agreed to give up my Saturday morning to take them. Every child in cookery club was offered the experience, by email with their parent copied in. It was NOT first come first served, they were clearly told if there's more than 5, we will draw out of a hat. There were more than 5 interested , so I wrote them all on pieces of paper and trotted next door to a different teacher, who came and drew 5 names out. Now I have Two parental complaints demanding to see photos of the slips and why didn't I video the draw and provide evidence. I know it's Friday and I'm tired but fuck I want to leave.

And if we all decided to not make life harder for ourselves, every club would vanish, things like scouts, guides, brownies would go. Every kid hanging back to talk to me would be ignored so I could go and have my break uninterrupted. I'd also not adapt any resources or update anything

This week in teaching I have been stretched to beyond breaking point and I cried all the way to work. Nothing I do is ever enough. My feeling of burnout is more from micromanaging and totally unreasonable expectations from SLT rather than parents complaining, but over the years I worked in private schools I had many many batshit parental complaints. Awful. Not sure how much longer I can do this for.

Omg - I’m so sorry…. That is crazy. I can’t believe they would behave so rudely towards you. Idiots. You sound great - don’t give up - teachers are fab!

What a brilliant response

Are you not allowed to turn round and say - I had arranged this, was going to do this on Saturday but now it’s become too complicated so I’m not sorry. It’s good that they realise I think. I would have been mortified as a parent if I’d thought my behaviour had ruined things.

It’s just so tiring and so depleting. I try so hard to make things fun but keep being told it’s boring. And parents telling me that their child doesn’t like something or being told that they need to do things. Like writing or reading. I don’t know how they expect me to get them through their GCSEs if I don’t get them to read or write. Just lost and that the joy has gone out of teaching. I still laugh and enjoy being with the kids but it’s definitely not what it was when I came into the job.

Yes and yes, in my school today... we banned 3 more parents ... Rude abusive and genuinely threatening.

Oh god I’ve just been reminded of a trip we ran before Christmas. When we got back from school, parents collecting kids parked in the bus bays instead of using the car park, so the buses had to stop in the road to let kids out. One parent left his car parked across the zebra crossing to go into school and complain about how unsafe it was for thus to let the kids out where we did.

In primary we were told to email the teacher. I emailed the teacher. The head called me out for emailing the teacher at 10:30 at night. As though I have a choice about when to squeeze life admin in.

In secondary (state) we have to email the admin office, who seem to delete all messages immediately as no one ever gets back to us ever. Even when my child was struggling with severe mental ill health. Yeh I get the you are busy, but either offer communication or don’t. Don’t offer it but not respond.

We have a parent at school who is that parent.
Complains about everything. I think she just wants attention herself despite being well educated, well to do and in a good job.
The result of her endless complaining is all the staff dislike her and her child.
Everyone dreads getting her kid in their class.
Everyone is defensive and guarded and falsely naice to her (through gritted teeth).
Everyone is extremely guarded with every dealing with her child.

Her child has zero resilience. Absolutely none.

He cries and whinges over everything.
Mum will sort every single trivial thing out for him. He will grow into a Trump-like adult and will no doubt be a terrible husband.

We are looking after their kids 24/7 for a 5 days straight

Umm. You might want to try that again @Sugarcoldturkey 🙄

As they were talking about a residential, they were absolutely correct with the 24/7.

(in the colloquial all day every day sense anyway)

Sorry l need to back op up here - she didn't know it would be that popular and the bakery are doing her a massive favour - why would she decline such an offer? If it goes well, they may invite her back so more children can go.
If she did 1st come 1st served, the people that didn't see the letter or email straight away would kick off.
Random names out of a hat is the best way - obvs the selected children's names don't get the next trip out.

Who's going to organise a baking competition?

They do that at our school. Ask the head to do it for yours.

And I’d have a good laugh and ignore the email about the bakery. Delete!

D'oh. Missed that. Must have skim read, so apologies to that poster.

(Not absolutely correct though. 24/5 surely!)

Had almost identical issue as this a few years ago.

Had a trip with eg 50 places. 100 applicants. Couldn't do exactly names in a hat due to rules about numbers of pupil premium and SEND children being representative, including the young carers who never get a trip, numbers of additional staff for the students with disabilities who need 1-2-1 etc etc. The trip, which would take four hours of my evening for obvs no additional pay, took approx 30 hours of time I didn't have in admin and planning beforehand.

One excoriating email from one particular parent about how Little Johnny should have been on the trip, calling my professionalism and dedication to the children into question, nearly sent me genuinely over the edge. I wish I could copy it here so you can know how batshit it was but honestly it was so rude. To be clear, LJ visited the location at least monthly already with his family and was deprived of nothing except manners.

Mrs Johnny was told he would absolutely have first dibs on the next trip.

I never ran a trip again.

Not too mention that half the parents would resent paying for the ingredients. And then question the judging.

Beyond sick of some parents. Totally hear you about the constant drip drip of negativity and they literally take any opportunity to moan but v rare to receive thanks or praise. I try and put myself in their shoes but ultimately I think they are mostly just selfish and entitled. They don't want their child upset for any reason and they don't want to do the normal parenting conversations to try and build resilience or set realistic expectations. It makes me want to cry too and then has an impact on my classroom practice and ability to work after school. I guess I need thicker skin but it's hard not to take it personally when you sacrifice a lot of time and effort to make things engaging for pupils. 15 years in and every year it gets worse.

I no longer do anything outside of my direct role, except for students in sixth form. And even some of them need to wake up and smell the roses.

"Why can't we stay in a hotel?"
"why do we have to share a room?"
"why is the trip so expensive?"

I used to pay my own way on trips and ask my colleagues to do the same. I no longer do. I'm giving up my time to organise and run it. That's enough.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Ok, small typo with the "a" but otherwise I stand by what I wrote.

When we take the kids on a school trip I have children knocking on my door at 3 a.m. because there's a fly in their room etc. I most certainly am on duty 24/7 for 5 days. And, at least where I am, we're not paid overtime, it's just an expected part of the job.

But let me guess, you're one of those parents who seem to think that they're doing us a favour by letting us go on holiday with their kids. They seem to think the teachers are lazing around and have nothing better to do than answer stupid emails while managing a whole class full of children.

@Embroideryemma "The head called me out for emailing the teacher at 10:30 at night. As though I have a choice about when to squeeze life admin in."

You WHAT? Emailed at 10.30 at night??? Of COURSE you have a fucking choice when to do that.
Well done that Head for calling you out. That was outrageous behaviour on your part.

It's so demanding as entitled to ask you to show video of the draw! I can see being upset at their kids being excluded but that's life and a lesson in itself. Are you allowed to just ignore them?