Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teachers I need solidarity before I leave the profession

339 replies

Soniastrumpet1984 · 24/01/2025 17:38

I love teaching. I have done it for 22 years.
I am sick of parents moaning. Today has put the tin hat on it.
Here's my situation (this is not exact but an approximation as close to similar as I can get it without putting actual details.)
Let's say I've been teaching French bakery recipes to my cooking club. A local French bakery has offered to host 5 students( in its tiny kitchen) on Saturday morning at 7.30am before they open so they can watch the pastry chef making the items. This is a total favour and just a nice thing they do not have to do. They did this as on my way to work, I was chatting whilst waiting to get my coffee. I as a teacher have agreed to give up my Saturday morning to take them. Every child in cookery club was offered the experience, by email with their parent copied in. It was NOT first come first served, they were clearly told if there's more than 5, we will draw out of a hat. There were more than 5 interested , so I wrote them all on pieces of paper and trotted next door to a different teacher, who came and drew 5 names out. Now I have Two parental complaints demanding to see photos of the slips and why didn't I video the draw and provide evidence. I know it's Friday and I'm tired but fuck I want to leave.

OP posts:
okright · 25/01/2025 14:30

These parents are dicks. I wish your school would protect you from meaningless emails.

I'd like to say that my non teaching adult teams don't behave this way but they do. People are moany fuckers

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 14:32

Sugarcoldturkey · 25/01/2025 14:09

Except kids learn better from teachers they know and who have taken the time to build rapport with them.

Do kids learn as well when there's a replacement going through the material? Generally, no.

What other job has someone in loco parents for a week? I imagine parents thank their babysitter more than they do the teachers after a school trip.

Edited to add: I'd be curious if you'd thank a firefighter who rescued you from a burning building or your doctor for curing a terrible disease. I mean, using your logic, that's their job and they're getting paid so why do they need any thanks?

Edited

I would but those two things are not comparable. Teachers shouldn't be put on a pedestal

Cakeandusername · 25/01/2025 14:41

Traditionally schools have offered trips and extras as it’s seen as beneficial to the children and generally good for producing well rounded individuals and developing skills. So language trip for those learning Spanish, geography field trip, theatre trip to see blood brothers they are studying for gcse, Duke of Edinburgh.
Some parents don’t seem to realise how much work goes into trips, how much they rely on goodwill and how moaning and petty complaints just means staff think well I won’t bother again.
Personally I’ve seen how children benefit from trips and activities so volunteer as a leader with Girlguiding but there’s fewer and fewer of us.
There was a school ski trip on here recently. School made it clear it was only skiing this year (presumably teacher who supervised snowboarding group had left/wasn’t going) a dad was kicking off. Lots of responses about how much cooler snowboarding was, why couldn’t school accommodate. If I was a teacher I’d be thinking let’s just scrap trip completely year after. So all the children miss out.
Op hasn’t said it was a class of 30 going cooking club. It may have been 10 afterschool and 5 getting chance of bakery trip. Everyone can’t do everything. None of the moaners have offered to help eg the bakery trip sounds great. If you were thinking of offering something similar in future I could speak to my local pizza restaurant and would be happy to volunteer to come etc.

Sugarcoldturkey · 25/01/2025 15:11

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 14:32

I would but those two things are not comparable. Teachers shouldn't be put on a pedestal

I think they're comparable in the sense that someone is doing their job, but only some jobs are considered worth thanking people for. So we've established that you would thank some people, but not others. My question is where do you draw the line?

Most people give a quick thank you when a barista hands over their morning coffee, but don't say thank you when a teacher hands over their kid after a week away... I just don't understand why the refusal to say a quick word of acknowledgement for the unpaid hard work put in.

I don't need a thank you after a normal school day, but if I've been up all night with your child, comforting them when they're homesick, taking them to the beach for the first time ever, giving up my free time to give your child a positive experience they could well remember for the rest of their lives - then, yes, I think a quick thank you is not too much to expect.

But sure, I can survive without being thanked. It's the parents who actively go out of their way to complain that really set my teeth on edge.

noblegiraffe · 25/01/2025 15:18

I think some parents see school trips as a service that schools provide rather than an optional extra that teachers go out of their way to put on.

Wishboneswishes · 25/01/2025 15:23

Unbelievable OP. I left teaching because of the crazy parents and their violent offspring.

Im just baffled that some have posted on here saying how you were wrong to do this wonderful event! So only 5 could go, well that’s life! Why oh why do parents not want their children to be resilient? How will they cope if they don’t learn to bounce back from disappointment? Why would you teach your children that they should always be at the centre of their own world? Is it not good to feel happy for other people sometimes?

Let’s try out for this football team. No sorry you didn’t make the cut.

This job looks great. Sorry you didn’t get through the interview.

Oh he’s fit! No sorry he doesn’t fancy you.

What the bloody hell will the world look like in 20 years when these kids think they can have everything they want as adults?

Run for the hills OP!

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:27

noblegiraffe · 25/01/2025 15:18

I think some parents see school trips as a service that schools provide rather than an optional extra that teachers go out of their way to put on.

Then they are thick as

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:38

MumChp · 25/01/2025 13:15

Do teachers think that working parents receive thank you mails all the time doing our jobs? I don't...

(We always get teachers a Thank You gift and card at the end of year. Last year one out of three thanked us!)

But it’s not my job. My job is to teach, not spend 24/7 looking after kids. Maybe I just won’t bother next year. God, I thank my dog walker for doing her job and pay her! Don’t you thank workmen/people on the till who serve you?

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:40

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:38

But it’s not my job. My job is to teach, not spend 24/7 looking after kids. Maybe I just won’t bother next year. God, I thank my dog walker for doing her job and pay her! Don’t you thank workmen/people on the till who serve you?

Just do your job then. No one asked you to be a martyr and take their kids away

MumChp · 25/01/2025 15:41

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:38

But it’s not my job. My job is to teach, not spend 24/7 looking after kids. Maybe I just won’t bother next year. God, I thank my dog walker for doing her job and pay her! Don’t you thank workmen/people on the till who serve you?

Then don't.

You can't expect parents to be grateful and write thank you thank mails. You choose to go or not.
A lot of us work for free without thanks. Teachers aren't that special.

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:47

MumChp · 25/01/2025 13:20

And other people work for free at their jobs. It's not only teachers.

Think we’re all aware of this, but being in charge of 40 students 24/7 is a bit different from doing unpaid overtime. One residential I supported, not me in charge, we had one child who had a severe reaction and mum had to collect. She had extremely sensibly stayed in a nearby hotel. The next night, we had one who couldn’t cope with being away so again, parents collected, one who disclosed something really serious so we were up all night ensuring he was ok.

Dunno why we do it, come to think of it, it’s getting far too stressful. Genuinely wondering if I want to do next year’s. I might hand it over if anyone else wants to do it. My boss has refused to residentials for years. Don’t blame him.

As a postscript, I do about 3 hours extra a day outside of class. I dread to think how much that adds up to, but it’s just normal for most people, in or out of teaching. I know emergency services don’t even get food/toilet breaks.

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:48

MumChp · 25/01/2025 15:41

Then don't.

You can't expect parents to be grateful and write thank you thank mails. You choose to go or not.
A lot of us work for free without thanks. Teachers aren't that special.

Edited

Not saying we are, but a quick thank you as they collect their child would be very much appreciated. Blimey, no wonder people are leaving the profession in droves!

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:49

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:47

Think we’re all aware of this, but being in charge of 40 students 24/7 is a bit different from doing unpaid overtime. One residential I supported, not me in charge, we had one child who had a severe reaction and mum had to collect. She had extremely sensibly stayed in a nearby hotel. The next night, we had one who couldn’t cope with being away so again, parents collected, one who disclosed something really serious so we were up all night ensuring he was ok.

Dunno why we do it, come to think of it, it’s getting far too stressful. Genuinely wondering if I want to do next year’s. I might hand it over if anyone else wants to do it. My boss has refused to residentials for years. Don’t blame him.

As a postscript, I do about 3 hours extra a day outside of class. I dread to think how much that adds up to, but it’s just normal for most people, in or out of teaching. I know emergency services don’t even get food/toilet breaks.

Then don't do it. Seriously. I see so many teachers on here moaning and they don't have to be teachers. It's OK to admit you made the wrong career choice. Get an office job where you don't have to deal direct with clients or something if people annoy you so much

sadlater · 25/01/2025 15:50

Soniastrumpet1984 · 25/01/2025 08:24

But your daughter feeling sad doesn't mean no one can have anything nice.

Of course it doesn't but the reality is that at school (and elsewhere) she gets so many less nice things than she would get if she did not have a serious medical condition despite our best efforts. When a teacher gives Easter Eggs to every child but mine she feels left out. She never gets anything at school when others don't. Today all her friends are going out for dinner to somewhere she can't go. Tomorrow she will be at a Christening and will take food but for a child their own food is never as nice as the buffet. Food is a very social thing and serious food allergies are hard. Having to check labels, ask questions in restaurants, and constantly worry about being very ill is not fun. And that's without the realities of a restricted diet.

If the staff all went out for a party tonight to a place that excluded only you you might be okay about that but many wouldn't. A teacher thinking one child should be left out of an activity which everyone else is attending without a second thought I find difficult and certainly in my work setting we would not think this was okay.

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:52

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:49

Then don't do it. Seriously. I see so many teachers on here moaning and they don't have to be teachers. It's OK to admit you made the wrong career choice. Get an office job where you don't have to deal direct with clients or something if people annoy you so much

Are we forbidden from occasionally moaning about our jobs? Jesus, there’d be barely any threads on here if we are going to be dictated to about subject matter!

Wrong career choice? After 31 years, I definitely didn’t! I love teaching, I don’t love some of the attitudes.

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:53

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:48

Not saying we are, but a quick thank you as they collect their child would be very much appreciated. Blimey, no wonder people are leaving the profession in droves!

Because they aren't being thanked?

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:53

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:53

Because they aren't being thanked?

Have you even read the thread?

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:54

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:53

Have you even read the thread?

Yes

MumChp · 25/01/2025 15:59

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:48

Not saying we are, but a quick thank you as they collect their child would be very much appreciated. Blimey, no wonder people are leaving the profession in droves!

Of course we say thank you.

Our childen have only gone away with the unpaid scouts never the school. I always thank them and give them 1 kg sweets to their tea after the kids are at sleep.

MumChp · 25/01/2025 16:16

sadlater · 25/01/2025 15:50

Of course it doesn't but the reality is that at school (and elsewhere) she gets so many less nice things than she would get if she did not have a serious medical condition despite our best efforts. When a teacher gives Easter Eggs to every child but mine she feels left out. She never gets anything at school when others don't. Today all her friends are going out for dinner to somewhere she can't go. Tomorrow she will be at a Christening and will take food but for a child their own food is never as nice as the buffet. Food is a very social thing and serious food allergies are hard. Having to check labels, ask questions in restaurants, and constantly worry about being very ill is not fun. And that's without the realities of a restricted diet.

If the staff all went out for a party tonight to a place that excluded only you you might be okay about that but many wouldn't. A teacher thinking one child should be left out of an activity which everyone else is attending without a second thought I find difficult and certainly in my work setting we would not think this was okay.

Why don't you hand the teacher an Easter Egg to pass your daughter?

The teacher might not know what is safe to buy. I am no milk and gluten diet - often people don't want to leave me out but don't no the options.

whyhere · 25/01/2025 16:26

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 14:32

I would but those two things are not comparable. Teachers shouldn't be put on a pedestal

On the contrary - there are no pedestals high enough!

(Non-teacher here who has done a lot of work in schools and has the greatest possible respect for the teaching profession.)

Can't believe how many of 'those' parents there are on this thread. Absolutely zero self-awareness.

whyhere · 25/01/2025 16:29

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 15:54

Yes

Well read it again!

Soniastrumpet1984 · 25/01/2025 16:41

porridgebath · 25/01/2025 12:58

I think you'd have been better off not doing it. 5 kids get to go and they could end up being the kids who already get advantages in life so it's not like you're trying to level the playing field. If you can't see how this isn't fair or even necessary then yeah teaching isn't for you.

Literally ridiculous

OP posts:
MumChp · 25/01/2025 16:49

Cherrysoup · 25/01/2025 15:47

Think we’re all aware of this, but being in charge of 40 students 24/7 is a bit different from doing unpaid overtime. One residential I supported, not me in charge, we had one child who had a severe reaction and mum had to collect. She had extremely sensibly stayed in a nearby hotel. The next night, we had one who couldn’t cope with being away so again, parents collected, one who disclosed something really serious so we were up all night ensuring he was ok.

Dunno why we do it, come to think of it, it’s getting far too stressful. Genuinely wondering if I want to do next year’s. I might hand it over if anyone else wants to do it. My boss has refused to residentials for years. Don’t blame him.

As a postscript, I do about 3 hours extra a day outside of class. I dread to think how much that adds up to, but it’s just normal for most people, in or out of teaching. I know emergency services don’t even get food/toilet breaks.

No it's isn't that special. Don't go if you don't want to.
If you don't want to be a teacher. Retrain. Di another job.
Don't expect people to be impressed of your work.
Lots of people work as hard as teachers do. Without a thank you.

sadlater · 25/01/2025 16:53

MumChp · 25/01/2025 16:16

Why don't you hand the teacher an Easter Egg to pass your daughter?

The teacher might not know what is safe to buy. I am no milk and gluten diet - often people don't want to leave me out but don't no the options.

We would if we knew they were giving them out. We've always asked for a heads-up and we have handed in multiple things to be given out whenever but it rarely happens. We try incredibly hard to make things easy for people but we are not mind readers.

Swipe left for the next trending thread