New neighbours issue.

[ToddCat66]

This is a little embarrassing, but please hear me out

The house that backs onto mine was recently sold to an older couple. You can see their garden clearly from the back bedroom which is my ds's (they are 4 and 7) bedroom.

They have this week installed a hot-tub in the garden. Today my youngest son comes running to me shouting that the lady has her b00bies out.

They are both sat naked in the hot-tub and you can clearly see everything It isn't a pretty sight and something I don't want my son's to have to see every time they look outside. Wibu to put a note through the letterbox asking them to cover up whilst they are outside or in the hot-tub? I'm too embarrassed to go round and talk to them.

Drop them a note. They might not realise they can be seen. I don't think you can tell someone else to cover up in their own back yard though. And their beauty is beside the point. As is their age.

I sent a note when a neighbour built a house with a huge window on the ground floor. My house is on higher ground and I could see right into their living room and halfway through their fuck ugly house. They planted gigantic highly invasive bamboo to screen it.

It's always possible your neighbours might not care.

Not unreasonable to write a note about it. I agree, too awkward to have a direct chat about it!

If that doesn't work I would contact the local authority council, as it might be classed (somehow?) as anti-social behaviour or something - it's relevant that your children shouldn't be exposed to naked adults!

If it were me I'd go round there and tell them. But that's just how I am. I would recommend maybe posting a note through the door, but you can't guarantee one will read it and the other won't.

I actually think it is illegal to strut around stark bollock naked, even in your own garden, IF it is offending neighbours.
They probably known they can be seen and just don't care.
If it's upsetting your kids, let them know, nicely, of course.

It's illegal (indecent exposure) to expose your genitals with the intention of causing alarm or distress. But simply being nude even in a public place, let alone your garden, is not considered offensive and doesn't meet the criteria to be an offense under the public order act.

Tricky.
If the neighbours, including young children, can clearly see them from their window, and have informed them it upsets them, and they continue,
that could be seen as they are intentionally causing neighbours distress.

Get some film to put over the glass in your kids bedroom 👍

Dear neighbours at number 15

I do hope you're enjoying living in Acacia Avenue and it's lovely to welcome you to the neighbourhood.

As my children's bedroom directly overlooks your back garden and your hot tub, perhaps you could consider putting in a screen at the bottom of the garden, or planting something fast-growing to protect your privacy. I'm sure you can think of some temporary measures in the meantime.

Yours kindly
Neighbour at No 38

Could you change their room?
Put nets or screens up to shield the view?

A gentle note might help. Or it might piss them off about being dictated to in their own home

It's awkward

I am waiting for someone to suggest you tip half a mugful of Fairy Liquid into their tub then feign surprise at their Ibiza Foam Party ............

How can you see everything if they're under the water, or do you mean when they get in/out?

I'd be inclined to just go with an 'Ewww' where my kids are concerned.

Plus they won't see it every time they look out of their window.

My son when young would not have batted an eye.
He went on enough beach holidays back in the day, where everyone was topless, and at home, no one bothered about being seen nude on occasions, so seeing a couple of older folk starkers, he wouldn't have cared.

Not everyone is the same though.

Why not teach your DC that there’s nothing offensive or scary about the human naked body?

There is nothing wrong with naked bodies but I still wouldn't want my kids to be exposed to seeing my neighbours genitals.

Perhaps they're naturists.

I really wouldn't make anything of it, just tell your kids that some people are comfortable being naked in their homes/gardens and don't stare at them out their window.

At least they're seeing real bodies not airbrushed digitally enhanced fiction.

Unless they are deliberately exposing themselves, ie, standing there waving willy around, jiggling boobs, purposely flashing because they are aware someone is looking... it isn't illegal, they're not doing anything wrong and the answer is... don't look.

Reasonably, I'd suggest a polite note asking if they'd consider some sort of screening because asking small boys to NOT look at something is a sure fire way of getting them to do exactly that and yell about it as well...

Maybe use it as an opportunity to address your and your kids embarrassment of naked bodies. Instead of ‘doing something about it’ you could use the experience to educate your kids that there is nothing wrong with being naked and how people have rights and ultimately tell them if they don’t like what they see then don’t look directly at them
when they are in the hot tub.

So the kids can't see out at all? That isn't the solution

'Oh well. It's just breasts. See them on the beach in summer all the time. They fed you too you know. No big deal. If you don't like it then don't look. Run along now.'

This. Unless the neighbours are purposely making a show of things, it’s no big deal.

So it would be OK if they were young and beautiful?

Exactly.

Which is inherently suggesting something is wrong

It’s you who has an issue so you need to deal with it yourself. Put up a bamboo screen and tell your kids it’s rude to watch your neighbours through the fence.

If the house backs on to you, do you mean the ends of your gardens meet? Can you put some high fencing at the end of your garden, or trellis on top of existing fencing to block the view?