Wedding invitation totally out of the blue

[MyDeftDuck]

Earlier this week we received a wedding invitation from the man next door. He moved in a few years ago, lived alone and we all introduced ourselves, always said 'hi' 'good morning' etc.

Recently he has had a woman staying over, no problem with that whatsoever. But she never, ever speaks; she doesn't respond when we say hello, she looks away if we see each other in the gardens, she blanks us if we are on the street and just this morning I spotted her at the bus stop and was at the point of saying 'thank you for the wedding invitation' but she glared at me and walked off in a strop, (yes, she missed the bus) Why?????

AIBU to not want to go to this wedding if she can't even be civil and engage in conversation? I know she isn't hard of hearing but I do find her rude, dismissive, a bit of a snob and a complete pain in the arse.

What would you do?

Go to the wedding and hope for a free bar, probably 🤣

It's an invite, not a summons. You can "not go" for any reason whatsoever.

Ah, such a shame, we already have plans that day! Congratulations! So pleased for you, Have a beautiful wedding day.

I would go out of curiosity, and because I love a wedding.
In fact, MN needs you to go and report back!

Maybe they don't have a lot of friends and are inviting you to bolster the numbers! I'd not want to go, given that she isn't civil, let alone friendly with you. You could lie and say it's a significant family birthday or something that day, then go hang out at someone else's house (or sit very, very still all day).

I’d go. I love weddings and I’m at the age where I don’t get invited to any anymore. Plus I’d be fascinated to see if she still ignored me when I was at her actual wedding! If it turned out to be a bit crap, you could just feign a headache and leave early.

If you don’t want to, say you are away and send them a nice card

Me too! If it wasn't going to cost too much to attend I would go out of fascination at the circumstances.

They're probably hoping you won't go but will feel obiged to get a nice gift!

Maybe she is not who he will marry and she's furious about that.

You need to go and investigate

So bizarre to ask people you barely know to your wedding. You should go for sure, it's bound to be an experience.

Well just don't go?

God I'd be there out of curiosity.

Any potential language issues? If it's that and she's not confident then maybe it's become a thing for her and her default is to put her head down rather than try.

Maybe she isn't the bride to be though.

Please do report back!

Maybe she is his sister/cleaner/mobile hair dresser? Are you sure she is the bride?

That's what I thought too!

Oh I would so go! 😁

Sounds like some of our neighbours. We moved in around the same time, decades ago. He's lovely and chats to everyone, she doesn't. Even if they're together and he says hi she never does!

It's certainly bizarre for them to be inviting people they hardly know to their wedding. However, that's their choice. I think in this circumstance I would send pop a little notlet card through their door saying welcome to the neighbourhood and thank you for the kind invitation. It would feel a bit awkward to come to your special day before we have got to know you so perhaps you'd like to both come around for tea and a chat on Saturday at say 3pm if that works for you?

Why on earth would you go, aside from the woman’s behaviour you don’t seem to know the man either aside from saying ‘hello’

I'd go. I'd be too curious not to.

Perhaps they don't have many people to invite. I'd go to help boost numbers. It might also be a way of improving your relationship with both of them. You don't need to become best buddies but it might open up the opportunity to say hello, how are you? going forward.

A free bar and food would also be a bonus. Hopefully it's local so you could always just stay a little while if it's a bit cringy.

It’s good that you don’t have a problem with the guy next door having a woman stay over

Maybe she's just socially awkward. You don't even know her so I don't know how you've concluded that she is a snob and a complete pain in the arse.

I'd go purely out of badness because of the way she blanked you. Just to see if she does acknowledge you.

Where have you got that she's a snob from, OP? If someone behaved the way she has, I'd assume all not quite well on their side, without assuming what, rather than thinking they were judging me in the first instance.

Do you actually know SHE is the bride?
I had an old (from 10+ years ago) work acquaintance who invited everyone on their Facebook and anyone to their wedding.
I didn't go, but they'd told a friend of mine that they invited people to get extra presents! They didn't supply food or drinks, so didn't coat them anything. Just strange!

Having put it here for us to ponder on you are morally obliged to attend, and to be prepared to start a second thread when this one fills up. It’s the rules.