Breastfeeding and MN. Why so different to IRL?

[Gogogo12345]

I had read many many threads on here about the " restrictions" of breastfeeding. This morning is a child free wedding that the OP will apparently be EBF an 8 week old. This is a common theme. All these EBF babies.

Yet in real life there are only about half of babies that are still BF ( even partly)at all by 6-8 weeks
And only 1% EBF at six months

So why does it seem about99% of mumsnet babies are exclusively breastfed for months on end?

No, oral medication isn't counted.
Definition from the WHO: Exclusive breastfeeding means that the infant receives only* *breast milk. No other liquids or solids are given – not even water – with the exception of oral rehydration solution, or drops/syrups of vitamins, minerals or medicines.

I wouldn't call > 50% "very low".

Maybe an age thing? Friends who had children when they were in their 20s mostly bottle fed. I had kids later (at 35 and 38). My first had some latching issues and combination fed until I could manage to ebf. Second son was ebf to 6 months. Once weaned, I continued to bf both my kids until 2 yrs. A lot of mums I mixed with were in the same age bracket as me and also bf for a good 6 months or more.

@Gogogo12345 mines only really 3/4 times a day but after two years I'd like my body to be my own again. My partner can't even so much as look at her if she wakes up in the night or she will have a melt down as she wants me and me only. I'm too worried to take it away just incase she's not getting enough calories or fluids.

I'm breastfeeding my 6 month old but from observations most people I've known bottle feed from birth or soon after, breastfeeding can be tough at times so a lot of people who are breastfeeding come here for advice, either way I don't really know why it matters how many mothers are breastfeeding at 6 months, it's hard sometimes and I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to do it long term

This was me 2 years ago😆 I'm afraid he didn't stop until he was 2 months away from turning 3 years old! We tried all brands of teats, my pumped milk, and formula. He wouldn't touch anything that wasn't me!

The Government stats say the majority of babies are BF at 6-8 weeks.

I don't believe that stat, most mums I know breastfed for years.

I didn’t try breast feeding because I didn’t want to. Cost of formula wasn’t an issue and it meant I didn’t have to do all the feeds or lack sleep. I don’t know how others fed their babies as I wasn’t interested and didn’t go to antenatal classes.

This is a mean post. I EBF for 6 months and carried on alongside weaning until 10 months because apart from a couple of issues in the first month where I had lots of help from a lactation consultant, I found it easy and straightforward. My NCT friend who only BF for around 4 weeks had SO many issues and tried SO hard to keep going. She ended up very ill in hospital with mastitis and was pretty much forced to give up. She definitely "cared" a lot more than I did and tried a lot harder than I did with BF. And I'm sure she would have had to do a lot more research than I did. Only difference between us was luck.

Most of my mum friends have EBF for at least 8 weeks actually.
And maybe someone posting about breastfeeding on Mumsnet is likely to be EBF? 🤔

Snap. We were all older though I don’t know if age and demographic makes a difference?

I don’t want baby only settling for me
DH and both grans wish to feed - I want that too
We are an out and about family and I don’t want to get my boobs out in public
We are doing shared PL
I just don’t want to-and that’s enough

Surely you must know that is very unusual or you're part of a population that is atypical of most places?

No, not at all.

really strange how invested some people are in what other people are doing with their tits

IMO it's to do with people wanting to validate their own choices.
So: "you're struggling with BF and it's destroying your mental health? Just keep going mama!"

Or, "you want to BF? How weird. So weird to get your tits out in front of your in-laws. You think you're better than everyone else, eh? So attention seeking. Mine were all FF and they're just fine. Fed is best. Bet you will have given up after 6 weeks, you'll see".

I think it's harsh to describe it as a result of caring. FF mums care just as much about their children.

I do think it's more of a case of where you find information and support.

In my limited experience, WC women are more likely take advice from their families, who might be traditionally more inclined to FF. (For example, a WC woman I know talked about her milk "all drying up" at 3/4 months like her mum's had - aka, the normal time for milk supply to stabilise and leaking stops).

MC women are more likely to pay for advice and search for it on the internet. I have also observed that my friends and I also have more of an eye roll attitude towards maternal advice...

But in both cases, women are trying to get advice and care for their babies, because shocker, they love them.

I breastfed as formula was too expensive (among other reasons.)

Still feeding at nearly 3 and and no one would really know that. So not sure the stats are very reliable or representative.

Do you disbelieve any statistics that aren’t your personal experience?

I have known many smokers who have never had cancer. I still believe the statistics that show smokers are more likely to get cancer.

i believe the statistics that show unvaccinated children are more likely to die from childhood disease, even though i don’t know any children who have died.

i was the only one out of my peer group that bf. Most gave up by about 6 weeks. So my experience confirms the stats. Why is your personal experience more valid than mine and a population wide study?

statistics give us just that. The chance of something happening. Doesn’t mean it’s not true if it does happen.

Support is quite good in my local area - there are BF groups (free) run by the council at children's centres, but BF rates are still quite low.

This is good, but IME only a tiny fraction of new mums in the targeted area attend these groups, and in most areas the children's centres are long gone anyway. It's a shame because it's such a simple intervention and actually does make a difference, but they are rarely signposted by frontline HCPs - I remember overhearing a totally infuriating interaction between this poor distressed new mum and my HV once while waiting for another appointment at the children's centre. The mum's baby was about 3 months old and she was saying that the baby was so hungry all the time and she couldn't keep up and was worried she didn't have enough milk, she didn't want to give formula, but it was too young for solids, wasn't it? All the HV did was make sympathetic noises and agree that it was too young for solids. She didn't ask any questions about feeding to find out what the mum was struggling with, in case there was any advice or reassurance she could offer. She didn't offer to look at the baby to see if it was doing well (ie, that they were getting enough milk). She didn't even reassure her that formula is perfectly good and not a failure, which would have been compassionate even if it wouldn't have been supportive of BF rates.

But the thing that was frustrating is that the HV was working in the children's centre and should have been aware of the BF peer support group - she could have referred the mum there so she could have had someone observe a feed and see if there were any tweaks which could be made, or offer tips about stretching feeds or supporting sleep or coping with frequent feeding or whatever, or just speak to other BF mums and know she was not alone. I felt so bad for her and I didn't even get a chance to stop her and recommend the group or MN or anything like that. I bet she went straight to buy formula and I don't blame her.

To add to the stats, of my 8-strong middle class NCT group; all tried to breastfeed. 1 gave up at 4 weeks as she had PND and it was just too hard, 2 combi fed from 6 weeks as they couldn’t take the pain / relentlessness any longer, 1 combi fed from 4 months following two bouts of mastitis and 4 had relatively straightforward journies and fed to a year (alongside solids from 6 months).

The whole breast is best is all well and good in a system and society where maternal wellbeing is well supported and prioritised, breastfeeding expertise is readily available and paediatric assessment and support is accessible (for tongue tie etc). That’s not the society we live in for sure.

Well for one, I was never asked about how long I was breastfeeding so yes I do disbelieve some stats.

I went to the States for work when DD was just turned 2 and still BFing (just one feed a day). I thought OK, this'll be it. Got home after my trip, opened the front door and she immediately asked for milk. She didn't stop BFing until a few months later when I was pregnant again and then I got regular updates on how much milk I was producing until I was told they weren't working anymore.

I breastfed all in of mine for quite a while, I know a couple of other mothers who also did the same. However the majority of mothers I know formula fed.

I don't believe the stats because I wasn't asked, and therefore it is highly likely my stats on breastfeeding are incorrect. The box wasn't ticked at 6 months. There isn't a box on the 2 year check for breastfeeding so it is sensible to presume the stats are inaccurate. I am certain that statistically it is not recorded anywhere that I breastfed 2 DC for 3 years each.