Guy I’m seeing has said his ex is attractive a bunch of times.

[Katiem1982]

I’ve been seeing a guy for 2 months (so yes it’s early days, but I’m impatient & don’t want to be wasting my time) & he’s said that his ex is attractive almost every time I’ve seen him. They have 2 children together so he has to see her regularly.
The first time caught me off guard but he was talking about how beautiful he finds his children & said they look like his ex who is really attractive. I didn’t think much of it then but it keeps on happening.
For the record, I wouldn’t describe his ex as attractive. She’s very plain, so him saying he thinks she’s very attractive surprised me, but obviously each to their own.
He also says that she’s a really lovely person but they are just very different & that’s why they didn’t work.
I’m very confused as I’ve never been in this situation before & im actually embarrassed to talk to my friends about it.

On the one hand at least he's not going on about his crazy ex, on the other, I'd say it's too early for him to be dating.

Just tell him you find your ex incredibly attractive and see how he likes that

Something that gives you the ick, don't ignore it, don't ask strangers if it's weird (hint - to make you justified to ignore it), if you have the ick this early on, listen and move on.

Personally I'd find it weird to refer to an ex in that way (more than once, definitely - every time - most definitely).

It also shows he places high "value" on his opinions of attractiveness, if he's mentioning it an unusual amount, not that you think she isnt, but just that he's mentioning it a lot? That's a bit weird, yeah people generally find others attractive, but to keep harping on about it?

Listen to the ick

After two months I would call it a day.

i wouldn’t want to be with someone who thinks about looks that much , bit shallow

is it a way to put you down ? Definitely bring it up next time

Oh come on, it's two months in, and you're already complaining about her, she won't go away and she'll always be there... So just split up.

Ah yeah fuck that. I think he’s dating too soon after a break up.

At best his comments about his ex and DC show poor judgment and social skills. For me it’d be ‘ick’ territory and enough to stop seeing him.

He's not over her. I wouldn't waste your time.

Goodbye my lover….

He still holds a torch for his ex. It’s too soon for him, move on.

I don’t think there is anything wrong in what he is saying. It wouldn’t necessarily concern me and far preferable to hear respect shown to his ex than she is crazy etc

but it’s how it’s said and how often

seems you are picking up on him not being ready for a serious relationship yet

He's still into her or he's trying to put you down in some way because he's insecure. I once had a very short relationship with a guy who kept pointing out other women to me while we were out and about and telling me they were hot, cute, pretty etc. He never said those things about me. I know this will come across as very vain but I know I was more attractive than those women he would point out and him himself. I was a model at the time and got a lot of attention myself. And I think he just couldn't handle that and it was a way of letting me know I'm not really that great. I stopped seeing him because every date would leave me questioning myself. If he's not making you feel good then you have to end it.

Oh no fuck that. I have no problem with occasional remarks about a celebrity etc but I don't think other people's attractiveness needs to be brought into a relationship on a regular basis and it needs to be done with tact. It adds nothing and can take so much away. Especially if it's someone close to home like his ex. Don't second guess yourself on this. He's being tactless. If it was a one off as in pic of the kids 'ooh aren't they adorable ', 'yes they take after their mum, luckily for them!, fair enough. But it's a pattern. Why would he think you'd want to hear his ex's looks praised repeatedly? It isn't appropriate.

Get rid. Whatever the reason for it it’s not something you want in a partner. It’s challenging enough being in a relationship with someone who has children from a previous relationship without adding anything like this to it.

How old are the children? When did they end their relationship? It’s refreshing to not hear him talk badly about his ex but…. it seems he may not be over her unfortunately x

Let's be honest - the ex is always a risk in a relationship because it's hard to cut off feelings completely when you have been in love or lust with someone for a long time. And they have kids together.

he has mentionitis!! there is no reason to mention an ex's looks on a date! He can't stop talking about her because he is probably still in love with her.

I would listen to your instinct and move on here.

I'd give him two more chances. Next time he mentions her being attractive I would say "I'm well aware you've said that a few times now. I wish you'd stop saying it though as it makes me uncomfortable with how often you say it". Then the next time I would probably just say "I've told you before it makes me uncomfortable how often you say how attractive you find your ex, why do you keep doing it?"

Then I'd bin him off. Warning shot and then move on

He's not over her

I had this, but he further qualified it by saying he had enough of drop dead gorgeous woman. He said it to me. So what did that make me

A lucky escapee?

Saying it once in the context of his children being beautiful - fine
Saying it everytime you see him - not ok.

For me it points to either him not being over her or him wanting you to change in some way to be more like her. Eg - you say shes quite plain. Maybe she doesn't wear much make up and you do and he prefers less? Not saying this is the case, but maybe something like that, maybe the way you dress?

Either way not a good look.

It would be a case of

Hi babes'

Bye babes'

For me 🙌🏻

Oh goodness no. Dump.

Even talking to a new person he’s dating about how beautiful he finds his DC is poor social skills IMO.