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Original poster

Wedding Breastfeeding 8 week old

73 replies

RandomUser9876543211 · 21/01/2025 23:04

our friends are getting married end of April and out baby’s due start of March
We’ve booked a holiday inn 5/10 mins away before we were pregnant, as the venue is very expensive like 350. Wedding is no kids allowed so am searching for ideas

options we can see is:

  • One of us doesn’t go
  • we take it in turns throughout the day (will be breastfeeding too)
  • we book our parents a room to 5/10 mins away
  • Fork out 350 to stay in the hotel grounds and take in turns

what do you think is the best option (first time parents)

OP posts:
Notgivenuphope · 21/01/2025 23:06

Are your parents happy to come? If yes, I would go for that option
Also depends how good friends you are.

RampantIvy · 21/01/2025 23:07

Cancel.

Noi · 21/01/2025 23:07

This is a hard one, it depends on your recovery/how well breastfeeding is going/if baby takes a bottle.

My first I couldn’t leave her more than 15/20 minutes at that point, she would get distressed/wouldn’t take a bottle and I just didn’t want to leave her. (She’s a happy healthy independent 3 year old now).

My first choice would be to not go to the wedding.
Second would be to have baby on site so you can actually enjoy it without stressing about travelling back and forth.

Can you book a cancellable room at the on site £350 hotel?

PizzaPunk · 21/01/2025 23:09

Well if 'we' are pregnant, your husband's milk will be through so he can do the breastfeeding Wink

Seriously though, if your parents are happy I'd go with that option.

scranonstrangler · 21/01/2025 23:09

I personally couldn’t have left my EBF baby at 8 weeks.

He didn’t feed to a schedule and didn’t take pumped milk from a bottle.

I was invited to weddings at 8 weeks post partum but they allowed children. If they hadn’t, I would’ve just not attended. You also don’t know exactly when you’ll deliver (assuming it’s not an elective section). Could have a baby that’s 6 weeks old where it’s even harder.

LuckyOrMaybe · 21/01/2025 23:10

I think my youngest was about that age when we went to a cousin's wedding. They (spontaneously) made their hotel room available to me to feed/rest/manage the baby - their thoughtfulness was much appreciated, and also probably influenced by the fact that they had children already themselves.

Iamasentientoctopus · 21/01/2025 23:11

Double check with your friend. Often ‘no kids’ weddings let you bring a baby in arms. If this isn’t an option I honestly wouldn’t go. Your baby might come late and only be 6 weeks old. If you are breastfeeding baby won’t be in any kind of routine at this point so you will be back and forth to comfort and feed.

WilderHawthorn · 21/01/2025 23:14

Just say no.

Hoover2025 · 21/01/2025 23:19

I'm doing a wedding also with an 8 week old at similar time.

No way is it going to work if you can't take babe with you

CurbsideProphet · 21/01/2025 23:25

I had a planned c section (and unplanned PPH), and even despite that would have found a wedding (without baby) 8 weeks later impossible really. Baby might go a few hours between feeds, but also some days needs to be constantly on boob. You could spend all day just running between baby and wedding. Do you really need to go?

Immavet · 21/01/2025 23:29

We went to a wedding 2.5 hrs away when our first was 5 weeks old, EBF. It worked out really well, but only because we stayed on site and also paid for a room for my mother to stay. We had the baby with us for parts of the day, and with my mum for other parts. It was really nice, I have to say!
(although a lot of work to organise and to get there, plus the expense...)

JaneBoleynViscountessRochford · 21/01/2025 23:30

IEither don’t go or go and stay at the venue taking turns. You might get a lovely easy baby (hope you do), you might get one with reflux, colic, tongue tie, dairy intolerance etc etc (or might just be a generally difficult baby like my second). Either way you won’t know until he or she is born so if you do 100% want to go to the wedding I would make it as easy as possible on yourself, even if it is the expensive option.

IdaGlossop · 21/01/2025 23:31

If you are breastfeeding an eight-week old baby, that's the main thing you are doing. I was pretty laid back when my DD was that age and took her with me wherever I went, continuing to feed her whenever she needed to be fed ie every two to three hours. But a wedding? No. Unless you can take your baby, I would send apologies and your DP can represent all three if you.

starlight26 · 21/01/2025 23:34

Your dh can't 'take turns' feeding a breast fed baby.

Believe me, you will end up cancelling so easier to do it now rather than keep stressing about it.

Cancel and concentrate on you and your baby.

Purinea · 21/01/2025 23:36

It depends on your recovery but at 8 weeks I was having a really rough time and there’s no way at all I could’ve managed a wedding, never mind one where I was dashing back and forth to feed the baby. My dsis on the other hand could have done a wedding the day after giving birth. But even in that best case scenario I’d be worried about the baby waking up hungry and you being 10 minutes away. Dd was in no schedule and would also just have a few days of cluster feeding randomly, I couldn’t leave her for more than 20 minutes when that happened. Tbh I wouldn’t have wanted to leave her at that age either. I wouldn’t go personally, if you really want to check if no kids also means baby in arms - normally it doesn’t

catcurl · 21/01/2025 23:37

I wouldn't go either.

At that stage my son was still feeding hourly, as well as us both being sleep deprived (I didn't realise how horrendous this could be until I had a baby!) and just out of the survival mode of the first six weeks.

You may get a very different type of baby, but I really don't think the day will be enjoyable for you at all.

A good enough friend for me to go to their wedding would understand me needing to take an 8 week baby to make that possible.

OliviaFlaversham · 21/01/2025 23:40

I wouldn’t go and would say now rather than wait. If you’re over due/need a little longer in hospital/have an EBF cluster feeding baby/are knackered…it will be stressful.

Missscarletintheconservatory · 21/01/2025 23:47

At that stage if I couldn’t take the baby I wouldn’t go to the wedding, but if you really want to and your parents are happy to then do that. I did attend a wedding when my baby was a few weeks older, in a hot country and spent most of the time breastfeeding.

I think child free means child free, not babes in arms, they are still a child. People’s interpretation of that varies though (if they don’t have children or really value a child free wedding they may just not want children there). People who already have children tend to think newborns are an exception.

dresscakereaction · 21/01/2025 23:54

In your shoes I'd politely ask whether you can bring bub. I had a childfree wedding (ducks) but would absolutely have welcomed a baby - the reason my wedding was childfree is that the venue wouldn't allow minors to be running around, but an infant would have been fine. If they say no, then it's time to think about your other options.

DontNeedAnyMoreClothes · 21/01/2025 23:55

I would explain that you will ve breastfeeding and baby can't be left, they may make an exception. If not, I wouldn't go.

Copperoliverbear · 21/01/2025 23:58

When couples say no children, i always take it to mean, other than babies, that babies are allowed, I'd ask.

BarbaraHoward · 22/01/2025 00:01

An EBF 8 week old won't be in a routine, you'll still be feeding on demand. It will be very stressful to leave a baby that young, even if they're only ten minutes down the road. I was bridesmaid at 12 weeks and even just working around the ceremony and photos etc was stressful enough with the baby at the wedding.

Don't go.

RobinHood19 · 22/01/2025 00:06

I wouldn’t go to a wedding that didn’t allow 8 week olds (they might be 6 weeks if you go over…). I’d cancel - their right to not have babies at the wedding, your right to decide not to go.

user2848502016 · 22/01/2025 00:07

Either not go at all or pay for the £350 room at the hotel.
You have no idea if you will be able to express enough milk (I couldn't) or if the baby will even take a bottle.
They'll be 8 weeks max, mine were feeding every 1-2h at that age. They'll be 5-10 minutes drive option is unworkable imho

JandamiHash · 22/01/2025 00:21

Babes in arms don’t count surely?

I can’t be doing with people who do child free weddings. They only have themselves to blame when people can’t go. Sack it off and spend the day at a local attraction