Wedding Breastfeeding 8 week old

[RandomUser9876543211]

our friends are getting married end of April and out baby’s due start of March
We’ve booked a holiday inn 5/10 mins away before we were pregnant, as the venue is very expensive like 350. Wedding is no kids allowed so am searching for ideas

options we can see is:

• One of us doesn’t go
• we take it in turns throughout the day (will be breastfeeding too)
• we book our parents a room to 5/10 mins away
• Fork out 350 to stay in the hotel grounds and take in turns

what do you think is the best option (first time parents)

As others have said, your baby needs to be with you at that age if you are breastfeeding. I would not have been ready for a wedding with a 6-8 week on sleep grounds alone, but if you can bring the baby in a sling it could work.

I wouldn't go. Too much stress for 8 weeks. Used to be that babes-in-arms were allowed at child free weddings for this very reason but this seems not to be a thing any more.

I would not leave my breastfed 8wo for more than 1h. I'd cancel and not go, I'm afraid.

Women can be given hormone tablets to induce milk production

Ask them if you can bring your baby or don’t go. What kind of bride and groom would refuse a breast feeding baby?

Just cancel. Its only women with babies who seem to think that no children means "but mine can come because....(its just a baby/its family/they've known them all their life)"

When brides set out their thoughts for a wedding and decided on a beautiful adult only day, they don't visualise babies being there. It puts the bride and groom in a horrible position when people ask. They have set out quite clearly on the invite what they want.

ForRealCat, I agree. I wanted child free,tiny register office, that's another story for another day..I was bf very regularly,no way I would have considered going to a wedding,with leaking painful boobs, feeding in public, changing nappies, and a screaming baby. Your priority is the baby.. I posted about the "we" being pregnant on another post and it was removed!!

First option - plan one doesn't go or give the bride a heads up one of you might not be going.

I did a wedding when my DS was 4 weeks. It was a very close friend of DH who he was part of the grooms party for so both of us not going wasn't an option.
We planned that I would go IF everything was ok. I planned to express and leave a bottle with an aunt who would babysit. My birth plan was a natural birth preferred so I recovery should be straight forward if all went to plan. Plan B was I didn't go at all if expressing didn't plan out or I hadn't recovered. The bride and groom were full on board and I was able to let them know the day before if I would be attending or not.

I went to a wedding with babe in arms while bf. Baby was in a sling, breastfeeding in the sling so no faff, and barely made a noise (I would have left the room to calm baby down if so). For changing nappies, I didn't feel like that was a faff at all, but I'll admit, if there had been a poonami then I wouldn't have been so cool headed.

Ultimately though, it's the bride and groom's choice. I would be super disappointed if my good friends didnt want to accommodate for babe in arms BUT I would have never told them so as I would not want to make them feel bad about their special day. I would just politely decline and send them all of my love.

na it was just a mistype meaning we’re having a baby

I didn't use disposable nappies. In the 70s 80s you wouldn't have breast fed in a public place. I saw my sil wedding ruined by kids... well the parents fault of course. Mine started out with 6 people including us,mil poked her nose in. I said no childen,no room. Nicely worded invites, I arranged a minder and bouncy castle at our house just 15 minutes away. No one used it. I didn't even get to sit at the top table during the reception. Bil and child each side of DH. The kids were "asked" to move and refused! So I am biased!

I'd ask if I could take my breastfed, 8 week old baby to the wedding. I was allowed to do this at children's weddings. If they said no, I wouldn't go.

If your parents don't mind that could work but you'll still be popping away quite a lot to feed. TBH I'd be inclined to cancel unless it's a really close friend, baby aside, I'm not sure I'd have had any inclination to go to a wedding 8 weeks post partum. Baby could also come late or you could end up with a c-section or other painful stitches etc.

The non-pregnant partner wouldn't be producing milk though.

I wouldn’t go.

Personally I wouldn't go!
I was bridesmaid for my SIL when my daughter was 8 weeks.
I felt fine, no complications and I had my baby with me. My dress was a multiway and I was able to feed her when needed!
I fed her just before the ceremony and she slept most of the reception.
We had a lovely day!! Everyone made a fuss of her! She had a pretty cream dress on and I carried her down the aisle as honorary bridesmaid making her uncle (the groom cry) bless him!

I couldn't have gone without her, I couldn't leave her!
Feeding is unpredictable.

If she was 9-12 months old definitely could leave her with my parents for a while!

I would cancel. I wouldn’t want to go to an event where I had to nip out endlessly , especially if I had to drive 10 mins there and back. Babies that age feed a lot and are often grizzly. Parents at the holiday inn will be awful - you might have to go 10 times. Even 4 times would be 80 mins in the car and maybe 120 mins feeding - 3.5 + hours away from an approx 10 hour event at an absolute “best case” which in the flip side gives you 6.5 hours away from a tiny baby you haven’t left before.

If the "friend" getting married blocks your 8wo baby, then they are not actually a friend, that would be really odd behaviour. Honestly I'd just cancel, you are very likely not going to want to be at a wedding while getting used to breastfeeding, possibly in pain from the birth one way or another, and exhausted. Complicated arrangements using parents is for another time when baby is 8 months old and yells.

Ah op, I couldn't have left ds at 8 weeks pp at all because he was still cluster feeding and was attached to me over 9 hrs a day and wouldn't have taken a bottle. I'd be telling them so sorry, you're not going to be able to attend and why (without asking to bring baby) and then it's up to them to make an exception for you or to just stick with their original plan of no kids attending.

I said no kids at my wedding but I did allow babes in arms because my sil and one of my friends were still breastfeeding little totes and it was more important to me that they were able to be there on the day.

I think it can be really hard because if they've no kids they may not understand just how hard it is to leave a baby of that age in general and especially when you're breastfeeding - they may not understand why you can't just get a sitter or leave baby with family but you'll just have been through something massive and you don't know how you'll feel physically in terms of recovery so in this instance you put yourself first and if they react badly then it shows ignorance on their part more than anything else.

Yes they can. Women can be given hormones to stimulate milk production so they can breastfeed without being pregnant. A few well known lesbian couples on social media have documented their experiences with it.

A lesbian couple both feeding would still have a shit time driving back and forth in a ridiculous tag team to a holiday inn to feed their baby. Even in the same hotel it would be tricky. You would spend the whole day either sitting in the room with the baby or partnerless at the party while people tried to get you to “just bring the baby down here” and you awkwardly explain that he’s banned.

decline the invite or check if babies in arms can’t come (they are BU if tiny babies can’t be there). We had a childfree wedding but babies under 6 months welcome.

i just wouldn’t go without baby if it were me, not worth the stress

Are you sure they mean no babies in arms?

If you desperately want to go, I’d speak to the couple. If they really want you there they will be flexible. It might still be good to pay the extra and have a room on site if you can? If they feel strongly about the ceremony I would promise that either you, parents or DH will wheel the baby around outside in a pram if they are unsettled.

If they are adamant that baby can’t be there for any part of the day I wouldn’t go.