Why do people make comments about well groomed or attractive people?

[PeakedInterest]

Has anyone else noticed this? FYI - I am neither attractive or well groomed 🤣.

When someone who puts effort into their appearance (whether objectively attractive or not) enters a new space, everyone makes a comment on their appearance. Even though that person has made no reference to their own appearance or alluded to themselves being attractive. That person will be dissected by everyone around them. It's actually quite bizarre the more I think about it.

Recent example, a young woman started at my workplace recently. She's very attractive and clearly puts effort into her appearance. So shes slim and fit, long thick curled hair, fresh faced yet glowy. Everyone commented on her appearance and not just a 'shes very pretty' throwaway type comment, but 'do you think her lips are natural?' 'did you see her shoes? They didn't match her dress' every bit of her was dissected. Last year when a very average middle aged woman started, no one made any comment on her appearance whatsoever

Another example, a new mum came into toddler group, she had a very 'instagram' aesthetic.
Hair in a perfected 'messy bun', nails professionally done, full makeup, gorgeous teeth. She was so warm and friendly and joined in with everything and came across a friendly nice person. Everyone said how nice she was and hoped to see her again next time. But yet again, the comments slipped in from people dissecting her appearance in private. 'her fake tan was too dark' 'i didn't like her eyebrows'.
Yet most weeks a new mum rock up with bushy eyebrows, overly plucked brows etc, no one ever comments on their appearance even if they have a stained top, not brushed their hair or whatever.

It happens to both sexes too not just women. Examples of men I can think of from memory:
A man who was clearly a body builder joined a cookery class I was doing, queue women turning to eachother and muttering 'i don't find muscular men attractive' or 'a bit short for me'. But he didn't flirt with any of them or allude to wanting anyone to fancy him. He just came to a hobby class and cracked on. No one ever commented on 65 year old bald Clive saying 'i don't find bald men attractive' or 'too tall for me'.

On a work training session once, a very tall, athletic guy that was well dressed and clearly took care of himself came in. Queue several people chatting amongst themselves privately 'hes not my type'. Erm, he never asked? He just came on works training and sat down, minding his own business. No one commented on the other average men sat there.

I honestly don't think it's just jealousy. As people comment on both sexes.
A random person comes into a new space who made an effort with their appearance (whether done well or not), and people HAVE to comment. Despite them making no references to their own appearance or alluding to wanting anyone to find them attractive.
Yet someone else new, either average or scruffy enters the same proximity and no comments. Why?

If your someone who makes an effort with their appearance, do you notice people doing it? Subtly dissecting your appearance? It looks stressful!

Folk comment on a whole host of things for a wide variety of reasons.
Take the opposite tack and be appropriately friendly and get to know her, regardless of how she looks.

Some people are just very shallow/envious. We have some friends, their first descriptive of someone will be "they're attractive" or not, its like they measure someone's worth by what they look like. I'd leave them to it, it says more about them than you.

The problem is you’ve just done exactly what you’re saying you dislike - judging someone based on their appearance.

If you instantly equate someone dressed nicely, wearing makeup etc as someone obsessed with their appearance you have literally just made a sweeping judgement on their character based on their looks.

Maybe they suffer with low self esteem so feel better and more confident dressed up? Maybe they just enjoy wearing makeup and nice clothes? What someone wears really doesn’t give you any reason to judge their value base.

See, I think people who don’t care about their appearance are lazy and delusional. Why? Because of this thread. Despite sayings like Don’t judge a book by the cover and What matters most is inside, everyone judges everyone initially by how they look. I just think it’s human nature. Caring about how you look is not self-absorbed, it’s realistic.

One if the most beautiful women I know is a consultant. She puts effort into her appearance, and is also one of the most caring doctors I know. It's almost too much for some of our (particularly male) patients ...a consultant who is beautiful, petite, AND intelligent and very good at her job. How dare she!!!

I have been called stuck up and a snob because I always have my hair and natural make up done and a decent outfit pulled together.

To me it’s very basic standards but looking back the women who were mean to me didn’t see a regular hair brush or have more than one outfit.

This is 100% it, happens to people who have just weight too. More so with women but men too, there is always an undercurrent of competition among the sexes.

If you're someone who makes an effort with their appearance, do you notice people doing it? Subtly dissecting your appearance? It looks stressful!

I care about how I look but only ever get complements to my face.

I'm not overly groomed though and think that's the difference.

I brush my hair, wash it every few days, tie it back, shower use deodorant and clean clothes and brush my teeth

This is all I do and if anyone has a problem that is on them

I think people are confusing things ok this thread. You can be ultra groomed but not beautiful and you can be beautiful but not ultra groomed. They aren't the same thing. I don't find ultra groomed men attractive & don't like the trend for denture like teeth. I'm not jealous of them.