AIBU to try and prevent care home fees? Advice appreciated

[Watermelonsuns]

So my parents are elderly, both have health issues but managing well at home. My mum in particular would struggle if something happened to my dad. Recently a friend's parent had to go into a care home and as the parent owned their own house and savings they are self funding and the fees are crazy.
AIBU to try and find a way to protect my parent's property and savings in order its not all gone in care home fees in the last years?
Someone has suggested moving their property into my name but surely that would be an obvious way to avoid fees and would look dodgy? Is there another loop hole im missing? Aby advice from someone working in this area would be appreciated thanks

Surely it isn't too late to sell, rent a bungalow for the very valid reason that stairs are becoming a problem?

My dad passed away After the initial shock and grief mum was doing ok.
However after about 5 years or so it became apparent mum wasn’t coping at all.
She had carers go in but ultimately we needed to find her a care home place .
The care home we found required a guarantee that at least 2 years fees could be covered by her assets / savings ….so unfortunately we had to completely relinquish that right to own half our parents home .
It became complicated organising the sale of our mums home, but mum is doing really well where she is .

What do you suggest they do with the proceeds of a house sale? As for renting a bungalow - good luck with that, they’re like unicorns. You’re lucky if you can find one to buy, let alone rent.

Of course they can sell and rent a bungalow if they want to but then the proceeds of the sale would be considered to be assets to be used towards funding a care home place

no the bungalow would be fine, the rental would be fine, but you would be expected to have a decent percentage of the proceeds left or to show where it had gone and it was not, for you, "unusual spending" or given away. The age concern fact sheet on it is well worth a read. https://www.ageuk.org.uk/siteassets/documents/factsheets/fs40_deprivation_of_assets_in_social_care_fcs.pdf

But you didn’t have to do that
They couldn’t force you to give up your half of the house - you did it for your mums health and care and wanted the best care for your mim
( which is lovely )

A pp of mine noted they are not all the same to someone who suggested they were.
The ‘all rooms are small post from a pp’ who was decrying that all non payers end up in worse conditions.

Ive never suggested they are all the same.
My comments relate to personal experience which I have noted for the areas we looked at Medway, Kent and Hertfordshire….also noted in a pp of mine.

People go on round the world cruises apparently. Food included and medical staff on board https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/06/22/back-to-back-cruises-cheaper-care-home/

”People older than 65 who enjoy travel, have good cognitive function but need some help in daily living are ideal candidates for care on a cruise ship,” says Dr Lee Lindquist, a geriatrician who ran the study.

Those aren’t the people in care homes.

Agree @godmum56 it seems a little too late for OP if the sale of a property to rent a bungalow in any way reduced assets.
Why not buy a bungalow OP if the home is mortgage free as renting is a reduction in assets every month. Possibly ? not sure how SS would see that tbh.

That doesn’t sort out the care issue though. Unless money is released to pay for private in home care.

Suppose it depends where you live, there's rentals available in our area and bungalows to buy. They could spend then proceeds of their house on whatever they like and of course treat family members. Key thing apparently is sooner rather than later.

I couldn’t stand a cruise ( maybe with age I might ) but for those that do what a great idea.

And the LA would ask where the money had gone. It’s deprivation of assets however you cut it.

Had a conversation with a workmate about it. Told her: look after them yourself, as we do in our countries

Just one question. How do you 'look after' a very infirm elderly person alone? A person who can't be left alone, who may wander at night, who may be doubly incontinent, need washed and changed multiple times daily? When do you sleep and rest and go out the bloody door to have anything resembling a life? Work is out of the question so who supports you? An old person with dementia is really not the same as a very large baby.

It depends doesn't it. If the op's parents sold up and spent everything when they are frail yes. If others under 60 and fit decide to sell up, treat everyone and rent somewhere I really don't think in 20 years a council could realistically suggest doa.

We are all allowed to choose to downsize, just as we keep saying has to be before old age when questions may be asked.

It’s probably possible where there’s a big family living nearby (probably daughters I imagine) and some of them are available during the day. Modern life in the U.K. rarely fits this model.

There would need to be at least 4+ children, none of whom could have any pressing family commitments of their own, they would need to work four day weeks or reduced hours, and they would need to be prepared to do sleepovers a couple of times a week. Any fewer than four or five siblings sharing this duty of care for years and they would just burn out.

Would you think that if you had private dentistry or private health, your bills should have 40% added to them to pay for NHS treatment for other people? So instead of paying £60 for a check up, you had to pay £84, with £24 going, not to your costs, but to NHS patients?

My father has been in a nursing home for 6 years. He is not unique.

I'm selling my aunt's house at the moment. She was placed in a council home when she came out of hospital and it very nearly killed her. It was awful and everything you think of when you think of getting stuck in a care home no exercise, hardly any interaction and all in a row. She couldn't go to bed during the day and they kept her in a wheelchair all day. Her house in her will is to left to me but honestly moving her to a better place was our only choice. She is walking again and thriving, it's worth every penny. We would have to sell her house anyway to pay for her fees but at least now she is being looked after properly. The fees will probably eat up all the proceeds which is annoying but well spent

Taxpayers fund education, medical care, a proportion of nursery fees, IVF. What morally different about care needs arising from illnesses such as dementia which are not a normal part of ageing?

yup, you have to do it when you could not reasonably foresee that you would need care.

My brother's wife's family tried to do this and it nearly killed them and their relationships with each other as people started to drop out and others were picking up the slack. It is not doable, not 24 hour care. Not if you have your own life too. And I say this as a carer (for my daughter).

What do you think is the alternative? Those subsided are either without assets or their family have done what the op is asking about. I'd raise taxes for the very rich to avoid this so the LA have enough but that wouldn't be popular or a vote winner!