I've got myself in a pickle for telling a lie

[mumspiration1997]

Ahh I've really got myself into a pickle.

A family member asked me the week before Christmas would I drop a gift into someone.

It would have taken me an hour and I genuinely was putting it off until I had time I even thought ill pop it in after Xmas (the recipient was on holidays so did not see the immediate rush)

I was transferred the £40 to buy the gift.

However when my family member asked me did I sent it in I said yes I did (and as I said fully intended to before the recipient returned home) and now someone (another family member) has checked for it while checking on the house and its not obviously there . I already said I dropped it off otherwise I could say ah it's still in my car.

Now they have just text saying.

"Hi tried to contact you. Either the gift wasn't there or it has been stolen I'd like to investigate this further. I'm down £40"

I'm so embarrassed! I didn't steal the money. Should I just say "I don't know what's happened I'm transferring you the money back" or fabricate some story about "Oh the neighbours cat took it"

I am NOT saying I didn't leave it in at this stage, I feel belittled enough.

Help!!!! I'll never fib again...but I'll also never take on anyone else's chores again!!!!!

No!!!! Stop lying and sneaking to get out of something. This is what got you into trouble in the first place! Buy the gift, take it over and apologise. Be a grown up.

i'm only here for the MN excuse du jour "I'm a people pleaser"

This. Lesson learned OP. Don't be hard on yourself. It happens. Just come clean and say sorry ❤️

Either say you thought you’d done it, or say that you took it round and they weren’t home so you’ll redeliver when they are. Whoever’s checking up had a cheek and next year they can deliver their own presents!

Is the drop off point an hours drive away as some PP's have assumed, or is the whole task of going out and buying the gift, delivering it, then getting home an hour's work? Not that it really matters at this stage!

I actually think that’s the only thing you can do now. I think the family member sounds a bit cheeky tbh. Getting you to buy/wrap their presents, drop them off, checking up on you. Who needs it.

To be quite honest it's not about trust

How ironic! Don't compound your problems but adding to the 'fibs' or contriving some daft story about the gift not being found. Buy it, deliver it, say sorry for the confusion and doubt you caused then don't accept tasks in future if you're not going to do them, it makes you look dodgy.

Just say "sorry I was meaning to drop it over the day after you text as I'd just got it then forgot with everything else going on, I'll drop it over this evening! Don't worry it's safely here still" and send a picture of it.
Hopefully he won't ask you in future!

Just be honest and tell them that you didn't get round to it and that you are very sorry and it's best if they don't ask you again. Send the money back to them.

Being honest is better than them thinking you are a liar or a thief.

I was going to say exactly this. You'll make yourself look so dishonest by sending the money back now. Just buy the gift and get it to the recipient asap. And then apologise.

Ah it happens to the best of us OP.

This is a lesson to say no to requests that inconvenience you. The relative sounds a bit cheeky TBH, first asking then assuming there was some foul play.

I can't get over how many people on this thread are horrified by lying.
Do none of you know that people lie, on a regular basis, and that it's commonplace?!
People lie. Regularly. Small lies. Big lies. White lies.
I feel like there's a whole other level of naivety on this thread.

If you're going to lie, you make damn sure it's a good one, not an obviously flimsy transparent one that makes you look even worse!

Not horrified so much as think it's ridiculous to tell stupid easily uncovered lies when the truth is also an option.

Lying is often the suggested response to any problem on MN 'I don't want to go to this party what should I do?' is always met with 'tell them you've got covid / can't get a babysitter / are away for the weekend / have fallen into a sinkhole / have been abducted by aliens etc'

Why in Gods name people can't just say 'Thanks for the invite but I'll have to decline, hope you have a lovely party' is beyond me.

Likewise why the OP couldn't say 'Don't worry, I've been busy but all in hand and it will be there before they get back from their trip' is beyond me.

Why would you say you've done it when you haven't? I don't get that. You could have just said I have the gift but I've not delivered it yet.
I suspect the family member knows you didn't deliver it, the other family member checking it is there and talking about an investigation says just that.

Did you buy the gift?

If it were the other way round how would you feel?

You'd distrust the cleaner, the milkman, other family members. You'd be looking over your shoulder to see who is stealing your stuff.

Just fess up. It's a life lesson. But the hood thing is that you'll never be asked to do it again. Just fess up. Feel the weight lifted. Job done.

Good not hood lol.

Because it's incredibly easy to get caught out. Forget the details of the lie. People find out you didn't do what you said.

Firstly you need to set more boundaries. Why did you say you would do this when it would take you an hour to do? You should have told the family member to post something!

Just say to them it must have been taken but you’ll buy something else and drop it off as a gesture.

Don’t say you’ll do it again in future.

I'm so embarrassed! I didn't steal the money.

But you did steal the money. You didn't mean to, you fully intended to use it for the intended purposes. But you haven't, you have in fact stolen it. So what you need to do now is make sure that somehow the intended recipient gets the present ASAP. It doesn't really matter now whether you dig yourself further into a hole trying to justify the lies you've already told, or whether you admit what happened and return the money, just make sure you sort it out either way.

Just tell the truth and apologise. Sorted.

You've absolutely got to be honest here. You're not going to come out of it well as it looks like you're only fixing it because you got caught out. Continuing the lie makes absolutely no sense. But this lie would make me seriously reconsider you as a friend tbh.

This. Blame Christmas rushing about.

Congratulations on finding a way to make yourself the victim in this!
I agree that transferring the money back and saying you've obviously messed up somehow is the way to go. That way they'll know not to ask you to do them a favour in the future.

It’s not naievity.

I think you’re missing the point here.

OP has gotten into this mess by lying. She’s going to dig herself a bigger hole by lying some more.

This thread isn’t about lying in general.
Yes, you’re right. We do all lie to some extent but in OP’s situation, more lying will make things worse for her situation.