I've got myself in a pickle for telling a lie

[mumspiration1997]

Ahh I've really got myself into a pickle.

A family member asked me the week before Christmas would I drop a gift into someone.

It would have taken me an hour and I genuinely was putting it off until I had time I even thought ill pop it in after Xmas (the recipient was on holidays so did not see the immediate rush)

I was transferred the £40 to buy the gift.

However when my family member asked me did I sent it in I said yes I did (and as I said fully intended to before the recipient returned home) and now someone (another family member) has checked for it while checking on the house and its not obviously there . I already said I dropped it off otherwise I could say ah it's still in my car.

Now they have just text saying.

"Hi tried to contact you. Either the gift wasn't there or it has been stolen I'd like to investigate this further. I'm down £40"

I'm so embarrassed! I didn't steal the money. Should I just say "I don't know what's happened I'm transferring you the money back" or fabricate some story about "Oh the neighbours cat took it"

I am NOT saying I didn't leave it in at this stage, I feel belittled enough.

Help!!!! I'll never fib again...but I'll also never take on anyone else's chores again!!!!!

Just tell them you’ll buy another gift and drop it around again, you don’t know what happened??

Have you sorted it now OP?

"omg. I feel responsible as I left it. I'll replace it and make sure I hand it over in person this time"..... See that as your penance for the fib.... We've all done similar, just put it right X X

Just say you hid it and was waiting until XXX to come back before telling them where it was. Then sneak over and put the gift where you said you left it

Please don't lie! Just fess up. Don't be like the Dyson Airwarp friend (see other thread).

OP, the easiest thing is to say little and offer no explanation.

People get caught out in lies by elaborating.

Return the money asap and and just say, "sorry, no idea what happened".

No explanation.

The great thing about the above is that it gives you the perfect excuse to NEVER oblidge again, 'cos the last time you did it cost you and bit you in the arse"

Win win.

OP, the easiest thing is to say little and offer no explanation.

People get caught out in lies by elaborating.

Return the money asap and and just say, "sorry, no idea what happened".

No explanation.

The great thing about the above is that it gives you the perfect excuse to NEVER oblidge again, 'cos the last time you did it cost you and bit you in the arse"

Win win.

Just do as you were asked, no fancy explanation, no apology. Next time say no.

Am I the only person who thinks the text message she received is really rude?
"I'm down £40 and plan on investigating" suggests to me the gift sender is accusing the OP of steeling without even giving the OP a chance to explain.
No wonder the OP is in a flap.

If someone said that to me, I think I would be honest, explain that you hadn't actually got round to it yet, but planned on popping it into the recipient when they returned from holiday. However, due to the rude an accusing text message, you are returning the £40 and they can sort the gift themselves.

At the end of the day, the OP was doing a favour, when someone does me a favour, I would cut them some slack if they are doing something nice.

...unless the OP has form, and is known for stealing, then, well that would be different.

Theyve literally said they don't want to do that. There are better suggestions.

But then you won't tolerate anyone.
Because everyone, even in daily life, lies.

At least you won’t be asked again 😂😂😂

I don't tolerate liars in my social circle. I don't want to associate with them.

And the OP is welcome to follow them. I am a random poster on AIBU, not a High Court Judge.

Could you say:

I'm so sorry I asked "xyz/partner/friend" to help sort it as they were heading that way anyway (things were a bit hectic before Christmas!) and I thought it had been sorted. I've just checked in with them and they're mortified but actually forgot to do it. I'm really sorry for the misunderstanding and that I didn't do it myself in the first place! 🤦‍♀️ I'll transfer the money back now or can sort it for you tomorrow, let me know what's best for you... xx"

But you won't know if they're lying will you.
People tell tiny little lies all the time.
You'd never know.
I'm gobsmacked that you think you'd know if someone was lying to you.
You sound very naive.

Obviously I don't always know if someone is lying. If I do find out that someone is a liar I don't want to spend further time or energy on them. Take that as you will.

But you won't find out, will you.
Nobody lies to someone and then says "I'm lying".
Honestly, I really think you're being terribly naive.

There are plenty of ways of finding out other than people admitting it. It depends on the situation. I'm not bad at spotting dishonesty actually, though no one gets it right all the time. I don't really see why you're so intent on continuing to argue the point and making judgements about me.

This is the last thing you should do! If you’re willing to give away £40, then you definitely don’t “not know what’s happened”. It would clear that you did not deliver the gift. If you dont want to buy and deliver it now then It would be much better to just admit that you didn’t get round to it. I totally get how you got yourself into this situation but your suggestion takes this person for a fool.

Surely, a quick text saying ‘I’m taking it with me tomorrow when I help them to unpack’ would suffice. No claiming it is already bought, no reference to previous text confirming purchase/delivery. Just the solution. It’s not missing, you are taking it tomorrow.
If they challenge why you said it was already done, just admit you don’t really read their texts properly and your intention was more ‘consider it done and stop nagging’ than ‘I immediately put your errand to the top of my priority list’. If that’s flaky, fine, they can ask someone else to run around for them next time.

Oh give over, she's panicking ffs

Why would op need a chance to explain? She told them she'd bought the gift and delivered it and only got into a flap when family questioned it. Would she have delivered the gift if no-one had mentioned it again? Yeah, I see it as steeling.

If we take the OP at her word, she didn't steal. She hadn't got round to delivering it yet.
She did of course lie, but, and again, to take OP at her word, that seems to have been just to get a nagging family member off her back for something that didn't seem to have a priority (gift recipient wasn't in the country to receive said gift, so not getting it there yet wouldn't affect anyone).
I'm assuming the OP was intending to give the gift when the recipient returned home.
Steeling is when you intend to deprive someone of something. Not when you forget to do something.

The reason the gift giver should give the OP a chance to explain, is because there could be any number of reasons why the seeker couldn't find the gift. And in my world, theft by a family member would be a strange first conclusion to come to.
It could just have been in a place they hadn't looked. A far more normal message in these circumstances would be something like...
"Hey, x was looking for the gift you left, but can't find it anywhere, can you let me know where you put it?"

Obviously, I don't know the OP and as I said, maybe the message was sent in that way, because they have previously shown themselves not to be trustworthy.
But if that was the case, why would you ask them to do you a favour in the first place.

I see what you mean but I think the texter is just trying to get to the bottom of it and figure out where this thing is.

It’s s bit of a weird one regardless - so we are assuming that OP had keys to this family members home, even though they are half an hour away? It must be too big to be delivered by post. But then someone else ends up going into the property anyway, so why couldn’t they have taken the thing? If it is so easy to get hold of,

Person isnt even there anyway. Sounds like a completey pointless task to begin with.

Also really bizarre that OP is adamant that any other route than just admitting she hadnt got around to it yet would be better and she is absolutely not doing that. What’s she so scared of? Sounds like the family member doing the gift organising is possibly a bit full on and is in touch with (or also arranging) additional checks on this house and lining up gifts before it’s needed.

all very strange!!