I've got myself in a pickle for telling a lie

[mumspiration1997]

Ahh I've really got myself into a pickle.

A family member asked me the week before Christmas would I drop a gift into someone.

It would have taken me an hour and I genuinely was putting it off until I had time I even thought ill pop it in after Xmas (the recipient was on holidays so did not see the immediate rush)

I was transferred the £40 to buy the gift.

However when my family member asked me did I sent it in I said yes I did (and as I said fully intended to before the recipient returned home) and now someone (another family member) has checked for it while checking on the house and its not obviously there . I already said I dropped it off otherwise I could say ah it's still in my car.

Now they have just text saying.

"Hi tried to contact you. Either the gift wasn't there or it has been stolen I'd like to investigate this further. I'm down £40"

I'm so embarrassed! I didn't steal the money. Should I just say "I don't know what's happened I'm transferring you the money back" or fabricate some story about "Oh the neighbours cat took it"

I am NOT saying I didn't leave it in at this stage, I feel belittled enough.

Help!!!! I'll never fib again...but I'll also never take on anyone else's chores again!!!!!

Don’t say you don’t know what’s happened- the giver might alert the intended recipient that something went missing from their home and they should be alarmed!

Either fess up or say it’s in a different part of the house (if you can get it there that is)

Just tell the truth, it is totally understandable. The stress of Christmas is enormous and you were doing someone a favour. Just buy the gift asap and take it round, no drama, you shouldn't feel bad, life is stressful enough, if they don't understand, don't worry about it, at least they won't ask you again.

Don't start accusing the cleaner of moving it. The cleaner is completely blameless.

Don't drag the poor cleaner into it!

Just buy the gift, hand it in and fess up to everybody. You're sorry, it was just easier to say you'd handed it in, the recipient was away anyway, blah blah blah.

So what if they think you're an eejit? Maybe they won't ask you to do any more favours in future - I'd be happy with that if it was me.

This makes it look like you intended to just keep the money.
You do know what happened. Making it vague means they might blame someone else. Or if things don’t add up, they’ll suspect you and won’t trust you from now on.

Are you a compulsive liar, OP ? Because this might get you in another pickle.

Tell the truth, apologise, get her some flowers or chocolate and maybe even laugh at your silliness over a coffee.
They will understand your reasons for overlooking the gift-buying.

But people don’t like liars.

Sorry, I realise it's their money! So not grabby.

yes that’s right, the real problem here is your abundance of good qualities and remarkable willingness to help

I would just tell them the truth. If they suspect you of theft, any lie you tell now will just compound the suspicion, but with the authenticity carried by the truth, they may believe you.

Better to be thought a bit of a prat than a would-be thief.

I could have sworn I dropped it off here, it was still in my car. Duh, what am I like.

Possibly the checking is being done as they know there is a trust issue.

It'll just look even more like you thought you could pinch the money and no one would notice tbh

Buy the gift and say in the confusion of Xmas you thought you'd dropped it off and hadn't, really sorry, found it in the garage/under the stairs/wherever as you were so confused.

The person is getting home tomorrow so I was planning on going in to help them unpack and say hello. Bring milk etc so when I was there I was thinking of saying "I was just in welcoming DR home and went to put the suitcases out into the garage and there was the cases of wine" no wonder Jenny couldn't find it. Perhaps the cleaner set put of the way in order to do the floors or something. ???? Does this sound pathetic

Don't do this.

I think this is easily soluble by saying nothing and sticking to factual statements.

Go to the house and help person unpack with the gift concealed about your person or in a handbag or something. Walk out of the room they are in and walk back in with the gift as if it was in another room- or open a cupboard or something. Don't say ANYTHING about putting the gift anywhere just produce it and give it to them.

Say as you give it to them "Friend asked me to drop this round to you". This is factually true and if you are apparently producing it from within the house, they will assume that it was in the house.

Then just text back to Gifting Friend something like "Recipient Friend is back and has the Gift." NO DETAILS. It's true and the problem is solved without lying.

You've been giving good responses and choose the worst option that no one has suggested.

YOU committed to do something, YOU lied about having done it, yet you have now have decided to flounce, play the victim and let someone else deal with your avoidable mistakes. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility and rectifying these situations - just stop lying, buy the gift and say sorry it's late, it turns out you forgot to drop it round - that way you keep the blame on yourself since you are to blame, without lying further or making a huge fuss over things.

Your intended resolution is likely to breakdown trust

This whole thing is just crazy !

Why would anyone leave a present round someones house knowing they were on holiday ?

Just say you didnt take it round there and were waiting until holiday makers came back. Buy the damn thing and learn to be more assertive.

I'd say it's more like 'told a lazy lie' than made an honest mistake. And who's being grabby? The recipient who doesn't know about this surprise gift, or the person who paid £40 for it?

OP I get that you felt you had time to do this if they've been away but why on earth didn't you just say 'don't worry, under control and will be there before they get home'? I think the only thing you can do now is tell the truth and in future either learn how to say no in the first place, or stop telling lies.

@mumspiration1997 Yes I think that sounds fine, I’d do that if I were you.
They might think you’re lying, but probably won’t and won’t care by then because the gift will be with the recipient. The alternative is they know youve lied if you admit it.

@CheeseWisely thanks. Yeah, I realised the person had given them money to get the gift. So they're not grabby. But still, OP should say they forgot and maybe add a bunch of flowers or a bottle, and a contrite smile... and everyone pretty much has to be sweet. I'd hope. It's clear OP didn't nick the money and spend it on yourself. Again, I hope!

Just refund the $$ and say that in the holiday rush you got mixed up. Wash your hands of it.

How did you get roped into agreeing to do this in the first place? Not just going out of your way to drop the present off but having to get it as well? Is the present giver particularly immobile, incapable or elderly?

Just say something like ‘I’m really sorry about this but in the pre-Christmas rush I didn’t have time to sort and drop the present round. I told you I had done it so that you wouldn’t worry, and I intended to sort it before X returns from holiday. I will drop the gift off tomorrow if you like, or I totally understand if you would just prefer me to return the money. Again I’m really sorry about this.’ Agree with the general idea of this response. I wouldn't be apologising so much though.

Mate, nooooo, don’t back down, double down!
Am I right in saying they asked you to do something for them that several other people could have done then they got someone else to check you’d done it then they texted you looking for an explanation?

I’d be tempted to text ‘stop nagging me, they’re not even in the bloody country.’

It’d have been fine if they’d just let well alone. This reminds me of the sort of thing that happens in my family cos people want help but also to micro-manage and pressurise the helper. Set yourself free!

Couldn’t you say you took it home again as you were worried about burglars.

Tell them to do their own bloody shopping.

Surely if you just give the money back and pretend you had dropped it off, someone is going to want to pursue the idea that it was at the house and is now missing... meaning they will think the house has been burgled or someone, say a cleaner, has stolen it.

Buy the gift, drop it round tomorrow, apologise and say you got your wires crossed and it was still in the car.

They'll know you've lied, you know you've lied but no further harm is done.

Sir Walter Scott. Nice. 🕸️

This is easily sorted as there was no bad intention from you in the first place but you have to explain immediately and you can’t hope that another fib on top of the first, will help matters. It has to be the truth. All you need to say is

‘The gift is purchased and ready to deliver later today before sally gets home. Sorry for the confusion’

And then make sure you do deliver it.

If there is any comeback about ….why did you say it was there when it wasn’t, then you simply close it down by saying …it was a misunderstanding. And then ignore any further chat about it.