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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU regarding potential buyers of our property?

108 replies

UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:04

We are selling our house and we had a lovely couple feed back to the estate agent on their first viewing that they really liked our property - albeit it took them a few days to offer this feedback. They said they would make contact with the EA after they viewed a couple more properties that they already had lined up. Fair enough.

They emailed the EA after the other viewings and said they were not considering the other properties they viewed and asked to arrange a second viewing on our property. They came back for the second viewing and again said they loved the house to me. They told me once they had an offer on theirs they would be in touch to place an offer on mine.

EA called them following their second visit on my property (which is just standard procedure for them to chase feedback). It took them 4 days to respond to the EA. They told EA they can’t give me a figure what they would like to offer but they’ll be in touch when theirs SSTC. They hinted it would be very close to asking. They informed EA they had lots of viewings going ahead on theirs and would be in touch following these. EA has tried to chase them up following the viewings they had on theirs but they are blanking the EA completely. Their property still hasn’t sold as I can see it on Rightmove still for sale.

I know they clearly haven’t sold but It worries me that they are blanking the EA and they’ve suddenly gone really quiet. Their last viewing on my house was over two weeks ago and two weeks since they spoke to the EA. EA told me not to worry as they have always been difficult to make contact with, but I just feel if they were that interested they’d respond to my EA to update us.

I’m starting to get a little frustrated because around this time I wanted to reduce my property to sell quickly but in order to try and maximise our chances of selling for the highest price we delayed reducing considering we had this couple as potential keen buyers - they have certainly been overly enthusiastic each time they visited and EA felt it was wise not to reduce until our potential buyers had the rush of viewings on their property. They said it was silly to reduce at that point in case they came with an offer the next day. I was in agreement with this too. It made sense.

I had found a house that I liked and had told our potential buyers this. We unfortunately lost that property today as somebody else has offered. Now I know it’s not our potential buyers fault, they haven’t sold yet so we can’t change the situation but I feel a little more communication and updating throughout would have been nice. It would fill me with more confidence that they are serious and genuine.

I can’t understand why they wouldn’t be making contact with my EA? Unless they are no longer interested. I updated the estate agent regularly on the property I was hoping to purchase, even if just to say things are slow moving but we’re still keen. I feel that if you love and want a property enough you have to maintain that contact. This clearly worked as the vendors I was looking to buy from ensured their EA gave me a fair chance to place an offer by close of play today and again chase our potential buyers before they accepted the other persons offer.

I think I’m just feeling a little disheartened and feel I have been strung along by this couple. It’s just so bizarre that they discussed decor and where they’ll put their belongings in the rooms when they’ve viewed my house, to just be completely silent…

I’m also wondering that if for any reason we do hear from them soon and they sell theirs, that I don’t particularly feel I want to sell to them because of how poor their communication is and I just fear they’d stress me out during a house sale.

AIBU? Am I just letting this house selling and buying malarky send me in to an overdrive? At the end of the day they did say they’d be in touch when they sell, and clearly rightmove suggests they haven’t…

Ive reduced my house now and I’m trying to no longer see them as ‘potential buyers’.

OP posts:
Mrscharlieeeee · 20/01/2025 21:10

Unfortunately interest from buyers who aren't proceedable is frustrating and nothing you or they can do if they are. How much they get for theirs will likely impact what they can offer on yours and lots of interest doesn't always equal lots of offers. I would just put them out of your mind now, if they sell and come back to you then great but the reality is there's not much they can say or do until they're proceedable. Fingers crossed you find a suitable buyer soon.

TheFunHare · 20/01/2025 21:10

You may need to buckle in OP. Buying and selling houses is almost always horribly stressful. I don't think you can get upset at being ghosted by a potential buyer or spend time wondering why. It's not worth it.

Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:12

TheFunHare · 20/01/2025 21:10

You may need to buckle in OP. Buying and selling houses is almost always horribly stressful. I don't think you can get upset at being ghosted by a potential buyer or spend time wondering why. It's not worth it.

This is a funny way of putting it and has actually made me laugh. Ghosted. Just what I needed right now to make light of me feeling crappy. Lol. Thanks!

OP posts:
Han86 · 20/01/2025 21:12

I don't think they are that interested or in that much of a hurry. I think you need to forget about them and if you want to sell quicker and think dropping the price is appropriate then I would go ahead and do so.

Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:13

Han86 · 20/01/2025 21:12

I don't think they are that interested or in that much of a hurry. I think you need to forget about them and if you want to sell quicker and think dropping the price is appropriate then I would go ahead and do so.

Yeah I agree I've just dropped it recently so fingers crossed.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 20/01/2025 21:14

If you want to reduce it, reduce it. It’s costing those possible buyers nothing to talk up your house, but you’ve actually no idea if or when they might make an offer. You need to actually sell it, not wait around for them to make up their minds.

User67556 · 20/01/2025 21:16

I'm guessing you've never sold a house before, you are really over thinking this. Your house is never sold til it's actually sold. The EA must know the house is overpriced to be clinging onto some random who hasn't even sold yet and showed some vague interest. Hope it sells more easily now you've reduced it.

Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:16

Mrscharlieeeee · 20/01/2025 21:10

Unfortunately interest from buyers who aren't proceedable is frustrating and nothing you or they can do if they are. How much they get for theirs will likely impact what they can offer on yours and lots of interest doesn't always equal lots of offers. I would just put them out of your mind now, if they sell and come back to you then great but the reality is there's not much they can say or do until they're proceedable. Fingers crossed you find a suitable buyer soon.

Thank you!

I don't know if I'm being silly thinking that even if they do offer their laid back attitude would just stress me out and I wouldn't want to accept their offer at all.

I think I'm being hit hard with the reality of this being the first time I've officially been in a chain.

Easy enough buying my first property having no chain, and then selling it later on. I moved out when I sold it and cut the chain which made my next purchase an easier one too.

Ugh. I think I just need to stop being so oversensitive to it. I'm getting impatient wanting to avoid the stamp duty increase too as that affects the value I can afford on my onward purchase too.

OP posts:
Suzuki76 · 20/01/2025 21:16

I know a lot of people complain about it but this is why so many people/EAs only accept viewings and offers from people who are proceedable. Theirs might sell next week, in 6 months or never.

Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:19

User67556 · 20/01/2025 21:16

I'm guessing you've never sold a house before, you are really over thinking this. Your house is never sold til it's actually sold. The EA must know the house is overpriced to be clinging onto some random who hasn't even sold yet and showed some vague interest. Hope it sells more easily now you've reduced it.

I've bought and sold before, just never been in a chain. First time buying was a breeze in comparison. And I moved out to sell that while I hunted my next house which made my onward purchase easy too. Now I'm in a chain situation with a house valued at a cost which will not attract first time buyers. And everyone who has viewed mine has been has needed to sell. It's just this couple really sold themselves as buyers on their viewings and were saying how gutted they'd be if I sold to someone else.

OP posts:
Shrinkingrose · 20/01/2025 21:19

What do you want them to say. Why is the agent contacting them and hassling them, they said they’d be in touch when theirs sold, it hasn’t. You know this, the agent knows this, so why hassle?

Pleatherandlace · 20/01/2025 21:20

Forget them, they are not in a position to proceed if they haven’t yet sold their house. They’re really just window shopping. Carry on with whatever feels right to get your house sold.

Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:21

Shrinkingrose · 20/01/2025 21:19

What do you want them to say. Why is the agent contacting them and hassling them, they said they’d be in touch when theirs sold, it hasn’t. You know this, the agent knows this, so why hassle?

I think it's just because the EA make contact as part of their service. They have someone whose job is to chase feedback from all viewings etc. so considering they've now blanked the EA it's had me over thinking it all.

OP posts:
Eenameenadeeka · 20/01/2025 21:24

It sounds frustrating but also theres not really anything for them to communicate to the EA until they have sold?

CoastalCalm · 20/01/2025 21:24

If the EA was hassling me when it was clear the house still hadn’t sold I would be pissed off tbh - they need to back off

welshwanderwoman · 20/01/2025 21:24

People, unfortunately, are weird. Two years ago, our house was on the market and we had a couple viewing it who, according to the estate agent, ran from room to room screaming that they couldn’t believe they’d found their dream home, offered at asking price on the spot, and ended the viewing by tearfully begging the estate agent to stop anyone else from viewing until they’d seen their mortgage broker the following day to get proof they had a mortgage offer. They even turned back up later the same evening begging to come back in to take photos to show their parents. Next day, no mortgage in principle materialises, and when the EA manages to contact them several days later, they say they’re withdrawing their offer because ‘it just isn’t right for us.’

It isn’t sold till it’s sold as others have said above … and we did sell ours, just not to that couple!

Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:30

welshwanderwoman · 20/01/2025 21:24

People, unfortunately, are weird. Two years ago, our house was on the market and we had a couple viewing it who, according to the estate agent, ran from room to room screaming that they couldn’t believe they’d found their dream home, offered at asking price on the spot, and ended the viewing by tearfully begging the estate agent to stop anyone else from viewing until they’d seen their mortgage broker the following day to get proof they had a mortgage offer. They even turned back up later the same evening begging to come back in to take photos to show their parents. Next day, no mortgage in principle materialises, and when the EA manages to contact them several days later, they say they’re withdrawing their offer because ‘it just isn’t right for us.’

It isn’t sold till it’s sold as others have said above … and we did sell ours, just not to that couple!

Oh wow! Yeah people really are funny aren't they. I guess it happens all the time.

I think I'm just feeling a bit sensitive about it today because I lost the house I was hoping to proceed with - even though I knew my chances were slim as I wasn't SSTC anyway.

I think this couple just got me excited at the right time and I suppose I was hoping they'd be updating EA about their viewings same way I was updating EA on potential property I was hoping to purchase. I have never done the chain thing before so I think I'm just expecting everyone to communicate etc. but harsh reality is the facts isn't it. Not sold until sold. And not even considered proceedable without an offer.

I think now I've reduced and I don't have my eye on anywhere I can probably relax a bit more about it all.

I don't think my EA will relax though. I bought my previous house from them. They call buyers a lot. lol.

OP posts:
FarmGirl78 · 20/01/2025 21:31

It's not usual practice to have people viewing who aren't actually proceedable. Not sure if this is your idea or the Estate Agents - but it's a bad one.

They could have phoned back immediately and offered you £20k over asking but it's useless unless they've already had a sale agreed in their own house. It's meaningless.

It'll only get your hopes up of you keep doing this. I really would suggest you only let proceedable buyers view.

Wheelz46 · 20/01/2025 21:33

Would you really want them as buyers anyway? If they are this lax about this, I imagine they would be a nightmare if they proceeded with the sale.

Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:38

FarmGirl78 · 20/01/2025 21:31

It's not usual practice to have people viewing who aren't actually proceedable. Not sure if this is your idea or the Estate Agents - but it's a bad one.

They could have phoned back immediately and offered you £20k over asking but it's useless unless they've already had a sale agreed in their own house. It's meaningless.

It'll only get your hopes up of you keep doing this. I really would suggest you only let proceedable buyers view.

Ive never heard this to be the case before. I might suggest it with my EA. It makes sense though.

I've had viewings where people have brought the whole family, mum, dad, grandma, grandad and their kids have trashed my kids bedrooms and playroom and the people viewing haven't even been on the market but are in the process of getting valuations.

Each time I've said what a waste of my time and now I have to clean up the mess they made and I won't get a sale from it!

This has happened often too where each person has been in a different room in the house. And it's really stressful, especially when I have no idea when they'll be on the market and have to trust what they say! I got an offer from one of these people but I didn't accept and she never listed her house according to EA. I never gave her viewing a second thought either because she wasn't on the market. This time it's just hit me hard because I saw a glimmer of hope with someone being on the market, saying they want to proceed near asking price and had a lot of viewings on their property scheduled. It seemed more real.

OP posts:
Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:39

Wheelz46 · 20/01/2025 21:33

Would you really want them as buyers anyway? If they are this lax about this, I imagine they would be a nightmare if they proceeded with the sale.

My thoughts exactly! Especially when I was hoping to sell before stamp duty increase though it's looking very unlikely now.

OP posts:
Rainbowscakes · 20/01/2025 21:39

Yabu. They’ve said what their intentions are and there’s nothing more they can do before they accept an offer. I expect they are busy and don’t want to be chatting to your estate agent every five minutes.

I’d hold off for a month or so to give them time to sell but continue viewings on yours. Things might pick up as we head into spring.

Original poster
UniqueShaker · 20/01/2025 21:47

Rainbowscakes · 20/01/2025 21:39

Yabu. They’ve said what their intentions are and there’s nothing more they can do before they accept an offer. I expect they are busy and don’t want to be chatting to your estate agent every five minutes.

I’d hold off for a month or so to give them time to sell but continue viewings on yours. Things might pick up as we head into spring.

This is how I am trying to see it that they've stated their intentions - which were positive - and accept that's that.

But I just think it doesn't take up much time to make a call and give updates about how their viewings are going when they know my property is still on the market. Surely they'd be worrying about the competition especially when saying they'd be gutted if I sold to someone else. But maybe I see it that way because that's what I do. I also always give feedback even if a property isn't a consideration to me. I just like the sellers to know what's what. It's surprising how many people have viewed my house, and then don't even respond with feedback. It's just not something I would do.

Maybe I just need to accept that everyone is different with the house buying malarkey and that not everyone responds the way I do and stop over thinking it.

OP posts:
rwalker · 20/01/2025 21:47

They definitely want your house and once they are in a position to proceed they’ll be in touch no great drama
in the mean time keep your options open open more viewing and review price

catswithbowties · 20/01/2025 21:55

Agree with the PP who said people are weird. We had a woman show up 30 mins late to the viewing with her dog (didn't ask first, and we have cats). After that the EA said she'd asked for a second viewing but this time with her daughter, who she's actually buying for. They turn up (again with dog), EA tells us feedback was all positive. A few days later I'm WFH and a random man's knocking on the door... It's the dad. They didn't make an appointment for a third viewing (they brought the dog again but daughter stayed outside with it this time) and I'm so shocked I let this strange man in to show him round myself. Got flustered because obviously didn't tidy up and was working!! He then implied they'd make an offer because daughter really liked it, said offer won't be asking price but he would be up for negotiation(??), gave me his phone number. Never heard from them again and they ghosted the EA when she tried to follow up...

Anyway I think you are right to stop thinking of them as potential buyers and to reduce to attract offers. As you say, if they're so hard to get hold of and slow to respond to anything, they may well be very frustrating buyers to deal with anyway. Everyone needs to be motivated in a chain so it doesn't drag on!