AIBU regarding potential buyers of our property?

[UniqueShaker]

We are selling our house and we had a lovely couple feed back to the estate agent on their first viewing that they really liked our property - albeit it took them a few days to offer this feedback. They said they would make contact with the EA after they viewed a couple more properties that they already had lined up. Fair enough.

They emailed the EA after the other viewings and said they were not considering the other properties they viewed and asked to arrange a second viewing on our property. They came back for the second viewing and again said they loved the house to me. They told me once they had an offer on theirs they would be in touch to place an offer on mine.

EA called them following their second visit on my property (which is just standard procedure for them to chase feedback). It took them 4 days to respond to the EA. They told EA they can’t give me a figure what they would like to offer but they’ll be in touch when theirs SSTC. They hinted it would be very close to asking. They informed EA they had lots of viewings going ahead on theirs and would be in touch following these. EA has tried to chase them up following the viewings they had on theirs but they are blanking the EA completely. Their property still hasn’t sold as I can see it on Rightmove still for sale.

I know they clearly haven’t sold but It worries me that they are blanking the EA and they’ve suddenly gone really quiet. Their last viewing on my house was over two weeks ago and two weeks since they spoke to the EA. EA told me not to worry as they have always been difficult to make contact with, but I just feel if they were that interested they’d respond to my EA to update us.

I’m starting to get a little frustrated because around this time I wanted to reduce my property to sell quickly but in order to try and maximise our chances of selling for the highest price we delayed reducing considering we had this couple as potential keen buyers - they have certainly been overly enthusiastic each time they visited and EA felt it was wise not to reduce until our potential buyers had the rush of viewings on their property. They said it was silly to reduce at that point in case they came with an offer the next day. I was in agreement with this too. It made sense.

I had found a house that I liked and had told our potential buyers this. We unfortunately lost that property today as somebody else has offered. Now I know it’s not our potential buyers fault, they haven’t sold yet so we can’t change the situation but I feel a little more communication and updating throughout would have been nice. It would fill me with more confidence that they are serious and genuine.

I can’t understand why they wouldn’t be making contact with my EA? Unless they are no longer interested. I updated the estate agent regularly on the property I was hoping to purchase, even if just to say things are slow moving but we’re still keen. I feel that if you love and want a property enough you have to maintain that contact. This clearly worked as the vendors I was looking to buy from ensured their EA gave me a fair chance to place an offer by close of play today and again chase our potential buyers before they accepted the other persons offer.

I think I’m just feeling a little disheartened and feel I have been strung along by this couple. It’s just so bizarre that they discussed decor and where they’ll put their belongings in the rooms when they’ve viewed my house, to just be completely silent…

I’m also wondering that if for any reason we do hear from them soon and they sell theirs, that I don’t particularly feel I want to sell to them because of how poor their communication is and I just fear they’d stress me out during a house sale.

AIBU? Am I just letting this house selling and buying malarky send me in to an overdrive? At the end of the day they did say they’d be in touch when they sell, and clearly rightmove suggests they haven’t…

Ive reduced my house now and I’m trying to no longer see them as ‘potential buyers’.

Of course, I wouldn't expect an immediate reply but I certainly would expect a reply within 2 days even if it's just a quick reminder to say look we have already told you will be in touch when we are good and ready.

So odd that you think it's good manners for them to have to respond promptly to tell an EA to back off. They have, as you've acknowledged, already told the EA the situation and that they'd be in touch. It's not remotely lax of them to not rush to call the EA again to say the same thing in a more testy manner. The EA is being pointlessly pushy and the 'buyers' have better things to do than feed that. The OP also needs to dial it down if she's imagining herself in a chain when she's not even had an offer. Until there's an actual - not potential or fantasised - buyer who is able and willing to proceed, the rest is futile effort and speculation.

Your position is really odd.

They may well adore your house, and really, really want to buy it. But until they have an offer accepted and proceedable on theirs, then there is absolutely nothing they can do.

There is no point them talking to anyone about buying until they have an actual, firm buyer for theirs and know their budget.

Until they are proceedable then they are just the man on the street and have no relationship to you.

If you are nagging the estate agent about anything it should be to get more people through your door, nothing to do with the old viewer

Around here you need to have agreement in principal or house on the market to get a viewing.
I think you were a bit unfair to this couple - they had their house on market, expressed interest and started viewings. Doing viewings is not 3 days job. Some people can’t do evenings (and EAs are notorious for not wanting to work after 5pm) it only leaves you a weekend so if the nearest weekend is busy accidentally it moves you to the week after. And all days quickly add up. Would you do emails to EA in between? Some people wouldn’t if there’re no news to share. It’s just their way of thinking.
As to feedback…. It’s my most hateful part when we were buying. 95% my feedback was that the house was overpriced. Reduce price and I will look at it differently . And it’s true.
DH gave this feedback a couple of times at the very beginning and it wasn’t welcomed so he moved to ghosting EA calls, which was easy as he had to have phone on silent at work and EAs were not available after 5 pm anyway.
Then if you are not saying excitedly that you love the house at a viewing, EA is very suspicious that you are not committed later on.
So it’s a minefield!
By the way I disagree with the advice not to look at other properties, I don’t meant viewings I mean online, it’s better to have an idea what’s available in the area so you can make your decision quickly when you are ready. I found it helpful myself.
Good luck!

Is this the first time youve sold a property? Strap in... theres a reason its one of the most stressfull things you can do. You can get right up to exchange and it fall apart like a pack of cards... you need to toughen up for your own peice of mind. They owe you nothing. Id ignor any and all viewings until an offer arrives. Also bear in mind that potential viewers rarely speak openly when the house owner is present .... they tell you what you want to hear as its an embarrassing dynamic

An offer or interest from a buyer who hasn’t sold their property is pretty meaningless. You need to carry on trying to sell until you get a firm offer from someone who has actually sold and is in a position to proceed. It could take them months to sell.

Point 3 and 4 are complete rubbish.
Who doesn’t look at properties until they’ve exchanged?!?! And going into rented is a complete waste of time and money, if you can even get a place with how the market is … and most are going to want a minimum 6 month contract anyway!!

I had several like this wanting to make offers overly keen and never did. It’s really common and all part of selling. Just reduce it they clearly are not that fussed otherwise they would communicate.

Might it be an option to move into rented for a while? That would release you from having a chain at your end and gives your some breathing time. Otherwise it is very stressful.

Potential buyers don't owe you an offer, I'm afraid, especially on your timeline. They're entitled to take their time, study their options, have a think, and change their minds about buying. Just like you are.

Frustrating? Absolutely. But it is what it is.

The only advice I can give is do not hold off because of a potential buyer making statements. Only listen to offers. Be ruthless. Those buyers saying they will make an offer - well unless they have they are time wasters.

What I did when I sold my house was require anyone making a viewing have a principle finance offer from their bank at the asking price or above. I wasn’t accepting less. I was not entertaining time wasters. I worked from home so I wasn’t clearing out for folks with nothing better to do on a weekday or weekend. Sounds insane, but there are people who view houses for sale as something fun to do.

I have to side with the buyers on this. They have clearly told everyone that they will be in contact when their house is sold. If you can see it’s still on Rightmove, then it obviously hasn’t sold. EA are a pain in the backside, they are probably calling this couple multiple times a day, leaving endless voicemails. I wouldn’t answer either and I would probably block the number until I was ready to go ahead!

That being said, you want to sell your house, so do what you need to sell. You don’t owe this couple anything and if they miss out because they don’t get back to you in time, that’s up to them.

Interest & enthusiasm is nothing
The only thing that matters is an accepted offer where the buyers have instructed their solicitor & surveys.

I'm interested in a beautiful period house a few miles away. It's on for £2.5M so I'll only ever been interested - it's way outside my budget.

I sold my mums home last year. Made clear to agent would not accept viewers who could not proceed ie own sold and mortgage in principle if needed. EA tried it on , but I was firm, complete waste of time

Unfortunately YABU yes. They could have been a little more communicative, but they don’t need to be. Everyone talks about where they could put stuff when doing viewings. Doesn’t mean they’re in love with the house, and sounds like they’re not, they’re merely interested.

I told my estate agent no more non proceedable viewings.

It is definitely usual practice to not be able to view properties until you have sold your own. This stops all these time wasting idiots.

We had something similar.
Put house on market - the evening it went on Rightmove a woman knocked on the door (no sign even up yet). Could she come and have a look around. I was a bit flummoxed and said yes. Had a look, all ‘it’s amazing’ etc. She said she’d ring the EA next day to arrange a viewing with her husband.
Heard nothing for a week (had rung EA next day to let them know).
She came back a week later with husband. More ‘it’s amazing’ etc. He was talking about them putting in an asking price offer the next day, they were sold etc.
Estafe agent couldn’t get hold of them for another week.
Then she wanted a third viewing. Brought her daughter. More positive comments.
Estate agents never heard from them again (to the point they put a mark against their name).
This was last July.
Worked out which was their house for sale (same area). It was SSTC.
We moved in November.
Theirs is back up for sale now.
Sorry but it’s brutal out there. Don’t trust anyone.

Stop clinging on to buyers that are clearly not interested and too juvenile to say so. Your EA needs a kick up the beam end. They are supposed to be working for you. They marketed your property at that price, not you. They will always do this. Over value - you need to do your own research - then they'll pressure you to reduce. This practice, dutch-auction et al, should all be outlawed.

They haven't 'blanked' the EA, there's literally nothing they can do until their house has sold, which they've already communicated.

They may well think yours is their dream house, but they still can't do anything until theirs has sold. They could put in an arbitrary offer, but it's meaningless and not proceed able until their house has sold. That's how buying houses work (unless you're a cash buyer, obviously)

You wouldn't have accepted a non proceedable offer anyway. And if, in the last 2 weeks someone has viewed and made an offer, you wouldn't have given the viewers a second thought! That's just buying a nd selling in the UK.

They are clearly waiting for an offer for theirs. I don’t think that’s weird at all. Until they’ve sold theirs, they are probably unsure of what to offer for yours. There’s no point in the EA chasing everyday. The update is ‘we like the house, keen to make an offer, but let’s get ours sold first.’ Fairly sensible I would say.

In the meantime, keep it on the market, if they come through, great, if not reduce the price and keep it on the market.

Behaviour aside, you’re barking up the wrong tree here. They aren’t proceedable so there is literally no point in chasing them.

Trust your gut and drop your price, the market is hard right now -I’ve been watching it locally like a hawk for 10 months and there’s so many properties above £300k that are just not shifting, or taking 12 months to shift. Only houses with a real wow factor element sell fast.

We have sold to buyers just like this, it's going through now. Nightmare, they're very frustrating but we're nearly completed, slow burn

I actually don't think it's the buyers who are difficult.
It's the system.
The UK has a crap property system. Chains are an insane way to purchase properties since everyone requires everyone else in it to have everything go perfectly according to plan.

As an experinced property developer, can I kindly thank you for educating me with your obvious knowledge and expertise in the matter.

It's great to know every day is a school day.

Good luck with your next house sale.