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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child in all day detention for something they didn't do.

177 replies

rooby252 · 19/01/2025 22:52

Hi,
I'm just trying to see if this is common practice in secondary schools really.
One of my children was kept in an all day detention for 1.5 days for something that happened after school and he wasn't responsible for.
He was at a bus stop with a few other children from his year group (year 8) and another boy threw a plastic bottle on to the floor. It bounced off the floor. It didn't hit anyone or anything and didn't break.
A teacher apparently saw the incident and saw my son wasn't involved, but the school kept the 4 children in detention for 1.5 days- knowing exactly who had thrown the bottle- waiting to see if the boy responsible would own up.
They missed out on all lessons, just doing work they had already done in year 7.
I feel really angry about it but am thinking this might just be how school do things these days?

OP posts:
takealettermsjones · 19/01/2025 22:55

I don't think you've got the full story here.

GettingFestiveNow · 19/01/2025 22:57

Yeah, not convinced. Have you had a meeting with head of pastoral to discuss this?

GentlyAnarchistic · 19/01/2025 22:59

If the teacher agrees with your narrative, I'd be angry. That's if...

verycloakanddaggers · 19/01/2025 22:59

You need to get school's side of the story. Ask for a meeting with the head of year.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 19/01/2025 23:00

Just throwing a bottle at the floor?

Hmm I call BS

There was definitely more to it

FuzzyYellowChicken · 19/01/2025 23:01

I believe this about as much as I believe my daughter got detention for "having a sip of water" last week 😂

BananaNirvana · 19/01/2025 23:04

I’m with the “absolute BS” team. That would barely warrant a lunchtime detention let alone a full day isolation 🙄

Nicecuppatea2025 · 19/01/2025 23:04

Oh come on now 🙄

DoggoQuestions · 19/01/2025 23:05

Oh dear, you really need to wise up to how teenagers work. I guarantee that is not what happened.

Franjipanl8r · 19/01/2025 23:15

Arrange a phone call or meeting with the school to understand what exactly happened.

Original poster
rooby252 · 19/01/2025 23:17

I've emailed the school over the weekend and will wait to see what they say on Monday. My son was in detention all day Wednesday and Thursday morning. He said the head of year then came and told him he could go back to class as they knew he hadn't done anything!
He knows we have emailed the school and knows he will be in trouble if he has lied.
The school seem to dish out detentions for very silly reasons- I've got two children in the school and they have had, between them, detentions for
Looking guilty
Looking at a fly
Asking where the Middle East is
Taking a blazer off without the teachers permission
Moving a chair that had something sticky on it for a clean one

OP posts:
Elizo · 19/01/2025 23:23

You need to take it up with the school. Same happened to my DS and I was fuming. In year 7. Contacted school straightaway, spoke to dep head. He stopped short of apologizing, fair enough, but he did take it on board and understood our perspective that DS had done nothing other than be there. They wanted DS to tell on another boy which seemed ridiculous to us a few weeks into a new school. I would be onto them sharpish.

bzarda · 19/01/2025 23:25

Teacher here. This sounds like isolation and not detention. To me it sounds as if they had a report about the boys and while it was being investigated (statements given by witnesses etc.) the boys were kept isolated so that the truth can be nailed down. Was your son asked to give a statement? I agree that talking to the teacher/head of year is the best thing to do.

Elizo · 19/01/2025 23:26

All this - this is is BS. My DS was in isolation and I knew he had done nothing wrong and he hadn’t. Quite possible

Original poster
rooby252 · 19/01/2025 23:35

bzarda · 19/01/2025 23:25

Teacher here. This sounds like isolation and not detention. To me it sounds as if they had a report about the boys and while it was being investigated (statements given by witnesses etc.) the boys were kept isolated so that the truth can be nailed down. Was your son asked to give a statement? I agree that talking to the teacher/head of year is the best thing to do.

Sorry, it is probably called isolation not detention. I understand they were trying to get to the bottom of it, but a teacher from the school had seen what had happened and who had done it so they already kind of knew. Were they hoping one of the other boys would tell them who had done it?
And why not let them do some current work? My son has now missed 6 lessons that he will need to catch up on.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 19/01/2025 23:41

Why didn't your son tell them who did it?

Babyghirl · 19/01/2025 23:54

I call your not being told the whole story here op, someone throw a bottle and it hit the ground and they got put in isolation, something else has happened and your sons not telling you, so dont believe I didn't do anything story, you don't get punishment for nothing, if the teacher seen it happening her word would've been enough to punish the boy who done it alone.

Original poster
rooby252 · 19/01/2025 23:54

noblegiraffe · 19/01/2025 23:41

Why didn't your son tell them who did it?

I guess he didn't want to be seen as a snitch, and he knew the school already knew who had done it.

OP posts:
JenniferBooth · 19/01/2025 23:56

Are they as vigilant when they see bullying happening outside school hours

noblegiraffe · 19/01/2025 23:58

rooby252 · 19/01/2025 23:54

I guess he didn't want to be seen as a snitch, and he knew the school already knew who had done it.

Show quote history

I'm confused then, why were they waiting for the boy to own up?

PotOfViolas · 20/01/2025 00:01

noblegiraffe · 19/01/2025 23:58

I'm confused then, why were they waiting for the boy to own up?

Show quote history

Yes, they probably didn't know which it was so were wanting them to own up. It would make no sense for them all to be put in isolation if the teacher knew who it was

Original poster
rooby252 · 20/01/2025 00:07

JenniferBooth · 19/01/2025 23:56

Are they as vigilant when they see bullying happening outside school hours

I'm not sure as we've not encountered any bullying, but I know there are nearly always members of staff outside at home time and often police too.
I would hope so.

OP posts:
Original poster
rooby252 · 20/01/2025 00:16

PotOfViolas · 20/01/2025 00:01

Yes, they probably didn't know which it was so were wanting them to own up. It would make no sense for them all to be put in isolation if the teacher knew who it was

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I agree, it doesn't make sense, but my son said from the first day that the teacher knew it wasn't him.
I'm hoping we will get an answer from the school tomorrow.
I think there are a lot of things about the school that I'm not happy with- the ridiculous reasons for getting punished being one of them- so I want to make sure that's not clouding my judgement

OP posts:
MartinCrieffsLemon · 20/01/2025 00:34

Removing blazers without permission is a common one for getting in trouble, even when I was at school

The others feel like minimising the actual issue

I often say I was sent out of a classroom because I tripped into a wall. The truth was I was sent out because I did genuinely trip accidentally but I was laughing so hard and causing a distraction and was sent out to calm down and stop distracting others. But if it had gotten to my mother I'd have told her "I only tripped and he over reacted"

bzarda · 20/01/2025 06:54

rooby252 · 19/01/2025 23:35

Sorry, it is probably called isolation not detention. I understand they were trying to get to the bottom of it, but a teacher from the school had seen what had happened and who had done it so they already kind of knew. Were they hoping one of the other boys would tell them who had done it?
And why not let them do some current work? My son has now missed 6 lessons that he will need to catch up on.

Show quote history

I would guess that either the boys were told the teacher saw who did it to try to hasten a confession out of one of them and in reality the teacher couldn't be sure who it was, or more likely they have to follow their systems anyway in order to follow through with a higher form of punishment (saturday detention would be what they would be given in my school) and not get accusations of unfairness from the boys parents ("that teacher doesn't like me"). You need to have a lot of evidence when you put through these statements.

In terms of the work, they're meant to have teachers send down the current lessons but in practice, this never works because teachers get busy/communication is poor/not enough time is given. This does mean they end up doing whatever resources happen to be in the room but I agree with you, it's not great and I don't really like the whole system myself.