Ex is the love of his life.

[Treesandsheepeverywhere]

Read an article where Guy Pearce said his Ex-wife was the love of his life.

He has a partner now and they live together with their child.

Got me wondering if I could be mature/understanding enough to be ok in such a relationship.

If DH said this and the Ex was still alive, it would feel like he was settling or wishing to go back.

Have you ever been or would you be ok with being in a marriage or long term relationship where you knew his Ex was the love of his life?

YABU - It's totally fine.
YANBU - I'd always wonder if he would go back if there was a chance.

No, OP, I wouldn't be okay with that and (very happily) wouldn't bother anymore with such partner.

I've never understood why people feel the need to make pronouncements about who was the "love of their life" or that they love (child/partner/pet) "more than anything".

Can you really quantify love?

If we're fortunate enough to live a long live then chances are we'll get to experience many different " loves". Some thoughts are just better kept to yourself.

I think the main thing is how it shifted from his Ex to his son. Like others have said, no mention of his partner despite living together.

Of course everyone should put their kids first, but we all know that's a different kind of love.

I'd except if you're living with someone, to be mindful of their feelings in praising your Ex, especially as they have kids together.

He was married to Kate for a very long time. I wonder why they split, if she was "the love of his life". He did seem to rebound quickly & next minute, she's pregnant....

Doesn't have to flag her off and he can still praise her without saying she was the love of his life.

I like him as an actor and comes across as an old soul from even when he was younger.

A shame how men mess up a good thing if it's true that he cheated.

I saw this and did a bit of research. He has heavily hinted that his ex-wife was the one that wanted to leave the marriage, not him.

Didn’t see the article/ interview where he has said this but I presume it has been taken out of context

@Treesandsheepeverywhere

if you are going to quote something at least get it right. What he said was

‘he once considered her the ‘greatest’ love of his life.’

which is totally different to what you are saying

It also sounds like the pregnancy wasn’t planned and they’d only been dating for a few months. He was most likely on the rebound and in different circumstances, the ‘relationship would have probably just run its course. His partner probably doesn’t view him as the love of her life either.

The EXACT quote is:
"My ex-wife, Kate, was the greatest love of my life, but I’ve moved on from her now and the greatest love of my life is my child, Monte."

It doesn't say she was "once" the love of his life as you say.

I read it too yesterday and the same thoughts as others regarding his partner, it seems hugely clumsy and disrespectful - and of course The Guardian have used it as the headline for the piece.
Personally, I wouldn't be happy with it if I was his current partner because of everyone's interpretation of it - look at us discussing it here

Guy Pearce is a complicated character, from (my dodgy) memory his dad died when he was young and he has a sister with additional needs. As a result He had a caring role for his sister from a young age and was adamant he didn't want kids so they wouldn't end up being a carer like him. He has mentioned this in interviews over the years.

He met his now ex-wife in secondary school and they were childhood sweethearts. I think she ended the marriage. Don't know if there was overlap with the new partner, but it certainly seemed he moved on quickly.

I can remember all this but cannot remember why I walked into my own kitchen 🤷

I wonder if rather than the ex-wife being his great love, to him she's the person who supported him through the lose of his dad and was a respite in caring for his sister, and that's what he's feeling the lose of, rather than the marriage.

He’s possibly happy with the child but not so happy to be tied to the OW (if that’s what she was). I know of a few cases like this. It could be that the relationship would have fizzled out naturally had she not become pregnant. Who knows though.

My best friend is a widow who is remarried, slightly different but she’s always been clear that her passed/husband (PH) is the love of her life. She’s actually been married to her “new” husband for longer than she was with her PH but still says it. He seems to take it in his stride as she says it quite pubicly!

@Vaxtable
It doesnt say that at all and I ddidn't ut any qoutes.

Thanks @ Orangesinthebag,
Doesn't say once was, just was.....

@Amaranthasweetandfair, @Mockingjay876 ,
@Dontbeme ,
Isn't that worse though, knowing he wouldn't have left her if it was his choice?
As their relationship is in the early stages, she too could be the love of his life one day if they stay together. But would feel like constantly trying to live up to the Ex.

Nice background update too @Dontbeme.

@Greyish2025 ,
Article has been linked.

Wouldn't you find that disrespectful if that was your husband about an ex though?

I'm obviously not very mature and enlightened because I wouldn't be with someone who had a love of their life if it wasn't me.

I just find that so odd. And how can second best husband not feel hurt by her telling people that!

Some thoughts and feelings are truly best kept to ourselves. Love is not a competition, it's not necessary to quantify it and the people we love don't benefit from knowing that they're part of some weird pecking order.

I think relationships can have different meanings at different times. People are important for different reasons.
Freddie Mercury saw Mary as the love of his life, yet wasn’t sexually attracted to her.
i know my partner was his ex as the love of his life at the time they were together and thought of her often. I’m ok with that- she passed away and he was really sad. I dint own him, nor him me and we are ok to feel certain ways about other people. I think that’s emotional maturity tbh

@Treesandsheepeverywhere

yes it does second paragraph down. Don’t call me a liar

metro.co.uk/2025/01/19/guy-pearce-declares-love-ex-wife-amid-relationship-game-thrones-star-22389217/

That's a secondary article that is a rehashed version of the original Guardian article the OP was referring to and provided a link for.

I read the Guardian and mentioned someone had posted the article.

No need to get worked up just because you read it feom a different source.

I just wonder why he needed to say that at all & why he didn't just keep that to himself & say his child. Thar would have been fine for both the ex wife, child & new partner.

I'm a young widow too and I don't find it odd or disrespectful. It's a fact that if my DH hadn't died, I'm certain we'd still be together and happy. That's just how it is, I couldn't bring myself to lie to a new partner that they're my everything and I've never loved anyone like I love them, I'm sure it wouldn't ring remotely true.
They're dead so it's not as if they're a threat.

That's very mature of you, but that was at the time they were together, wouldn't it feel different if he said it the way G.P said it?

I feel there's no need to even say it, especially if in a relationship with somone else.

I think life and love isn't perfect and can well believe that there are many men and women who feel that they lost the love of their life but have also gone on to form other wonderful relationships. I personally don't think it's particularly nice or needed for anyone to tell their current partners this though (or publish it). I'm all for being open and honest but it's not a truth that really benefits anyone.