To ask if you’d enjoy this holiday ?

[CryJustALittleBit]

All inclusive hotel in Spain.

Fancy dress competitions for kids and kids club for general ents etc discos

Some of the male hotel guests putting on drag acts as evening entertainment

Two pools - one indoor / one outdoor

Sharing a dinner table with another guest couple at the hotel

Space invader machines /Pac Man etc

Pool table

VERY predominantly British guests

Hotel is right next to a beach

Plenty of cafes and bowling alleys near by for entertainment

Nice ‘bar’ area where you can also get drinks like milk shakes etc

Courier service so you have the option to go on day trips etc

Hotel guests in general are a bit ‘Phoenix Nights’ iyswim

So, what’s the verdict ?? Y Viva Espana?

Yes you can certainly be in my book !! 😃🙌

The clientele in the hotel were very ‘Phoenix Nights’. I feel most at home with people who are very Phoenix Nights.

Or Benidorm? Currently watching it on Netflix and loving it.

Just some more observations about the hotel.

I say there was a ‘bar’ in the centre of this open plan area of the hotel, but I was only 12 at the time and honestly don’t know if they sold alcohol.

They sold these milkshakes though I do vividly recall - and I dunno - these milkshakes were definitely NOT the type you’d see served in establishments nowadays iyswim. Hard to describe but they’d be a vivid pink colour that you just don’t see now. I loved them though .. and you can definitely see that in this case -

tho milkshake definitely DID bring the girl to the yard

Haha yes Benidorm !! But in Benidorm the characters are more exaggerated imo - in Phoenix Nights I think the patrons who attend the club are more low key and ‘normal’ for what of a better word

But I loved the sitcom Benidorm ! It ran for about 10 years iirc and was consistently good throughout its tenure !

While I general hate the “Brits abroad” thing, I have come across the “Russians abroad” thing (particularly prevalent in Turkey and Thailand) and I know which I prefer

with no offence to any Russian MNetters,
I’m sure you’re all lovely

Oh yes, the Russians abroad. On our first and last stay at a hotel that did AI - we were staying HB because it was about a fiver a night more than BB that we wanted, which was a lesson learned as it trapped you into paying hotel prices for drinks with dinner, you weren't even allowed tap water on the HB package. The other point I didn't like was that you had to wait ages at the bar in the 15 minutes before the end of AI service times because the AI guests were stocking up for the night. It was also that holiday that taught me that while I love a breakfast buffet, I don't like it for lunch or dinner, which is why we now usually self cater, but may occasionally have B&B but make sure there's at least a kitchenette.

But back to the Russians - we had to queue behind a transfer bus full of them on the above holiday and most of them were rat arsed, which made check in interesting. A friend of DPs also fondly reminisces about the time an AI holiday he went on where the 'Brits abroad' and the 'Russians abroad' were fighting over chips at the buffet.

We did meet a lovely Russian lady on a diving holiday once, she spoke little English but we communicated quite well using the marvel that is Google translate.

Yes they love Egypt and Turkey. I'm sure there are plenty of lovely Russians (in fact I know one) but a hotel full of the kind that look like they might shoot you is a very unpleasant way to spend a week, speaking from experience.

Indeed they are effectively banned from most of Europe (well not banned in person but flights between the EU and Russia are banned) so they will have less options available.

So you just spend most of the time at the hotel? What's the point in going to another country if you're just going to stay in the hotel? Is it just for the weather?

That is literally all some people go on holiday for, though. Absolutely no cooking, a pool/beach and a sun lounger, guaranteed hot weather, plenty to entertain the DC so you can relax and read a book while sipping a cocktail. There is nothing wrong with that. If you have a busy life then sometimes it's just what the doctor ordered. I get thoroughly bored with those sorts of holidays these days but there was a time when that sort of thing suited us really well.

Sounds like Tv prog Benidorm which would be my worst nightmare. But if it sounds like your kind of holiday then go for it?

We had a Russian couple in our hotel in Cyprus who either had zero social skills and awareness or didn’t give a shit.
I remember clearly they picked up their sunbeds at the end of the day and walked back to the room with them. The hotel manager ran after them telling them to put them back and it ended up with him and the man scuffling as they wrestled the sunbed between them.

At breakfast, they walked up and took the toast someone rise had placed in the toaster and just shrugged their shoulders when confronted.

I’d rather eat wasps.

It is for me. If I haven't got wall to wall sunshine and temperatures in the high 20s and 30s, I'm not going. To be fair, I can only go in the summer holidays, so it's a good job I like it really hot, too busy and extra expensive.

I wouldn’t enjoy it.
Kids probably would so I’d maybe go but only join in with the kids activities that they’d want to do.

My 'Russians abroad' experiences were all around 20 years ago now, when encountering a Russian anywhere was still quite a novelty. DH and I sat there with our faces like 😱watching some of the buffet and dining room scenes. It was quite the side show.

In most places it's not difficult to see some of the place whilst also not driving, so there's no reason to make that assumption. You just get other people to do it for you.

Resorts usually have bookable excursions available. Some places like eg Malta are easy enough to get around on local public transport off your own bat. There's also the option of staying at a resort in or close to a town or city, so you can mix things up easily. Depending on what you want to see, being on foot is often easier than driving and having to worry about parking anyway. Lots of old historic areas in towns aren't well set up for cars and parking, for obvious reasons.

My worst nightmare.

Pre-kids - no
Post kids - definitely

What's the snobbery around kids entertainment all about?

I totally understand that if you don't have kids, you wouldn't enjoy being around that. But if you do have kids, what's the problem.

Or do middle class children hate a kids disco and a pool table and simply just want to sit in an olive grove soaking up the culture?

My kids did not enjoy kids discos and pool tables. Just like I don't enjoy pubs and shopping.

Sort of reverse snobbery on this thread, I think, the insistence that we must all enjoy the same things or be middle class!

The olive grove comment actually did make me lol!!

Some real misunderstanding of self catering holidays here.

I always go self catering
I’ve never cooked anything on holiday more substantial than toast
i don’t hire a car
I don’t load a dishwasher
I do spend most days laying round the pool - the weather is the main reason I go away. I love the heat 30+ is perfect.
I go on a couple of trips out usually on local buses or a ferry to the next island (I usually go to Greece)
I love finding different restaurants to try local fresh cooked dishes
My DS is now an adult but he has never been interested in kids clubs/entertainment
As long as he had a pool and other kids to play around with he was happy

My DS had no interest in kids clubs, discos, entertainment. Just a pool and a couple of other kids to play with and he was happy.

As he got into his teens, we found a bar that had football on tv or a pool table. He was always happy watching sport or playing pool while I sat with a wine watching the world go by.

No my children liked theme parks , Disney , water parks and sight seeing they had no interest in discos , kids clubs or pool tables . That said if you’d given our eldest the choice between olive grove and kids club he’d have definitely opted for olive grove .

Me too. I’m hoping OP will share the name & location so I can look at prices and dates!