Blamed

[BeAdeptSwan]

Not sure how to handle a family situation. My father and sister have blamed me for my sisters medical condition. I’m very upset that they have done this. It’s nothing I’ve done - and I feel it’s cruel

What’s the medical condition?

What’s your relationship with them like the rest of the time?

When you say they blamed you, what do you actually mean?

More information needed to be honest. Mainly what is her condition and why do they blame you?

A strike. We had a heated phone call

Stroke*

So you had an argument and your sister had a stroke?

Yes

How long after the phone call was the stroke?

Next day

It's immaterial how long afterwards the stroke was! OP didn't cause her sister's brain to bleed/experience a blockage with a heated conversation. Your family are probably very upset OP but this is a mad and horrible accusation.

A stroke?

im sorry @BeAdeptSwan thats horrible.

a stroke happens when there is already issues that can cause one. A completely physically healthy person doesn’t just randomly have a stroke! It’s almost always caused by long term changes in the body or other medical reasons which may or may not have given symptoms.

there is a tiny chance that the stress during the call may have tipped her over the edge BUT the truth is that something as simple as getting up to answer the door or going up some stairs could have been enough to trigger it or nothing triggered it and she could have had one sitting relaxed in a chair!

you did not cause this. She was a timebomb and it was going to happen without media involvement so your call was a coincidence!

as for you getting the blame they can fuck off! You probably won’t get them to back down but YOU CAN NOT TAKE ON YOUR SELF WHAT THEY SAY TO YOU!

So upsetting

I think you’ve had some good advice from @Evaka and @Ginkypig The only additional thing I can think of is perhaps to see if one of the medical team involved with your sister or another medic can explain this to your family. They may still not back down as it’s easier to look for a scapegoat sometimes and if they are upset they probably can’t think rationally. I hope they come to understand it’s not your fault in time. It sounds like maybe relationships weren’t easy before this happened as it sounds unlikely you’d suddenly be blamed otherwise? Sending you best wishes x

Yes, it's upsetting, scary and I'm sorry, OP.
Everything else aside, if it was me, I'd go no contact.
Extreme, but it worked for me with some very unreasonable people.

Sorry just to be clear, I wasn't asking this to agree with them in any way, was just trying to understand the scenario. It makes no sense at all and the fact it wasn't even on the same day make s their accusations even more crazy.

You didn't cause the stroke. I'm sorry your family are so ignorant and quick to blame you. You are better off protecting yourself from them x

That's so horrible blaming you. Is this a different sister or the actual one who had the stroke? A family member of mine had a stroke recently. No obvious reason to set it off but he wouldn't have had the best of health. It would be shocking if anyone was blamed.

Did your sister have good health until now? Can you look up the conditions that lead to a stroke and see its not your fault? Is there a history of blaming you in the family?.

Actual one who had the stroke.

Is she usually the Golden Child? Frankly I would tell them all to get stuffed..

Is this the same thread as in last day or so. You did not cause it, she probably had an underlying condition like high bp and it takes two to argue.

She’s the delicate one

I’ve had two strokes, some years ago. They are never caused by a phone call.🙄

Thx everyone x

Such a horrible accusation. They sound a bit twisted. I’m at risk of stroke because I have an immediate family history of stroke. If I have a stroke it’s because I’m at risk anyway as I have a family history of stroke. Not because Brenda down the road told me to piss off yesterday. simple as that really. They aren’t exactly covering themselves in glory with this.

There are two types of stroke. One where the blood supply to the brain becomes blocked or a bleed in the brain. Both of these almost always have an underlying cause and she could have had the stroke at any time. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME.
How old is your sister?