Friend annoyed at me for this

[OneBrightAzureBiscuit]

i have a best friend who I get on so well with, she’s like a sister to me and we have known each other years. Anyways, we were talking over the past month about seeing a certain film at the cinema. She loosely mentioned it a few times but plans never materialised. I was waiting for her to get back to me about it.

anyways, yesterday me and my partner went to see the said film and she found out that I went and watched it with him. She texted me today in an ok mood but kind of passively aggressively confronted me about it- she was like “I see you saw “said film”
I explained and said “sorry if I upset you, you didn’t make plans with me and I was invited so I went, I would of gone if you had arranged it with me”
she then said “I see you’re sorry, I was just shocked but it’s ok now”.
we have now planned to see it next Thursday but I just don’t understand. I could definitely understand her emotion if it was another woman like in the sense of replacing her but it’s my boyfriend! We been together 6 months!
I apologised a few times but my boyfriend said I need to stop defending myself

any advice/ what are your thoughts? X

Your BF is right. Your friend doesn't have a monopoly of your time and activities for here to eternity. Yeah ill go with you, but it never happened (not sure if you could've initiated it, maybe you should rather than wait for her to have organised it?), regardless, it's done now. Free to organise another thing!

God she sounds tiresome. How did she even ‘find out’ that you went to the cinema unless you told her?? Anyway, you should feel free to tell her or to not tell her, without having to worry about passive aggression/‘moods’.

She sounds like a twat

This sounds juvenile. How old is she?
I don't think you need to apologise and you don't need to rearrange to see it with her either! She sounds like hard work.

Is she 12? It was the cinema not a fucking holiday you replaced her with last minute.

Your friend sounds like a snowflake cunt.

No need to explain why you went to the cinema etc to her. Wide berth and start being unavailble like she is to you.

If she mentioned it a few times, why didn’t you make any steps to plan the trip? Why were you waiting for her to do it?

If I knew a friend wanted to see something, personally I’d check with them before I saw it with a boyfriend - although to be fair you’re fine seeing it twice so I guess it doesn’t matter.

I wouldn’t make this into a big deal if you otherwise get on well.

Tell her to fuck off and get a grip. Also, why are you paying to go see it a second time? Was it marvellous enough for that?

She was shocked? God help that woman.

I agree with this ^

If you'd wanted to, you could have said to your boyfriend "Friend wants to see this movie, I'll let her know we're going, she might like to come along"

Anyways, it's anyway.

Me too.

I'm sure she'll still want to sit next to you at school tomorrow.

Lol at her being shocked you went to see a film. This is really your best friend?

You knew she was interested in going, so could you not have invited her along when you went with your boyfriend?

That would have seemed like the obvious thing to do.

How old is your friend? She sounds about 5.

Was the film Wicked? Has she made herself a costume?

Hmmm I think i'm with your friend actually. You said you would see the film with her then went off and saw it with someone else without checking with her or inviting her along? Why was it up to her to organise it?
Maybe she had other people she could have gone with but turned them down because she had already said she'd see it with you

I would have checked in with the friend I agreed to see it with before going with someone else.
Either to check they still wanted to go and pin down seeing it with them, or to invite them along.

Is your friend worried that now you have a boyfriend you'll stop being available to hang out? That does happen, friend is no longer single and suddenly they drop off radar or (worse?) only go to stuff as a couple.

Too much drama. 🤷‍♀️

You had planned to see it together and then you went without her. I'd be annoyed but I probably wouldn't go as far as being shocked. I'd put you down as a bit flaky and not rely on you in future perhaps

In your situation, I think when my boyfriend suggested seeing it, I’d have said “I’d love to, but I sort of said I’d watch it with my friend, so I’d better check with her if she still wants to see it, before I watch it with you”. I would then have contacted friend, asked if she was still up for it and booked a date.

I also would have checked in with your friend and made arrangements to see it with her. You could have seen something else with your boyfriend, you had already told her you would go with her.

I don't agree with her being passive aggressive, but she perhaps didn't know how to say how she felt.

It sounds like a simple case of miscommunication. I wouldn't worry about it. It happens.

God I can’t be bothered with people like that. So high maintenance.