To ask what you think the ideal age gap between kids is?

[Poppinpop]

In the ideal, what do you think works well? I know it could be personality dependent on both children too. Sorry as I’m sure it’s been done before as a topic!

3 years good. Depends as you say. I wouldnt like chaos of small age gaps. My friends had one in school then baby. But whatever suits the family.

18 months between mine the less gap the better I think as generally they will both like the same places and play together well

Is 3 not a small gap then?

We are still quite young so could aim for any gap really but I was more just curious. As much as a big age gap is practical for some reasons I imagine it’s difficult finding common interests

I like 4 years - no double pram , only 1 waking in the night , 1 in nappies , I found no jealousy from the older one either

4 years. My second was carefully timed so the eldest would start school just before.

Whatever works for your family is the ideal gap.

We have 20 months. Is worked well for us. DD1 was too young for jealousy but capable of playing alone or waiting a few minutes. She loved her baby sister.

However we are aware that puberty, gcses and alevels is going to be (and starting to be!) Rather busy. (11&13 currently)

3+ years. Much less exhausting

3 years. Old enough to be going to nursery and likely to be out of nappies and a bit more reasonable or able to be reasoned with. But young enough to enjoy similar things and be friends with each other.

Two of my four kids have 3 year gaps. Would recommend. No sibling rivalry or upheaval when new one comes along and I felt they’d each gotten that 2 years bonding and attention to them so less mum guilt. Allowed for extended BFing too… and interestingly my periods returned around age 2 so it seems my body agrees 3 years is a good gap!!

18 months between mine. Ideal as a lot of the baby stuff was out the way at the same time and back to 'normal' (whatever that is with kids 😂). They generally have similar interests or you can at least still make them join in with something that the other one wants to do.

I think you need a small age gap or a big age gap (where it is a much older child and they can be hands on and help, and you can do the baby and toddler stuff while they are at school so that they aren't bored by this but in the summer hols they are old enough to go out themselves as that I would guess is where you have difficulty if you have a toddler and a 7 year old for example).

4 years

Eldest in school and self sufficient (brushing own teeth, going toilet by himself etc)

I have less than 11 months between mine, whilst unplanned it worked out perfectly and I had a much easier time than friends who had very active 2-4 year olds. It also meant that as they got older activities were suited to both

Five years worked perfectly for us.

Mine is 2 yrs 4 months. Eldest F, younger M. This was a bit tough when they were young because the eldest ditched naps and was ready for potty training when the youngest was born.

They have played well together and get on and they also play by themselves. The different interests were becoming evident a few years ago, especially when my eldest hit Yr5-6. There is still a lot they are both interested in though (swimming, climbing, cinema etc).

The age gap was planned in as much as we weren't ready until then and we got lucky first go with younger one.

In retrospect, I would have wanted them to have just 1 school year between them. It's been tough having 2 years of different pick up/drop off locations e.g. nursery/school and infant/junior sites and there'll be a GCSE/A-level year. Sometimes it's awkward in terms of one getting upset about their differing responsibilities/ freedoms (age based). I wouldn't have wanted an even bigger gap. Too big a gap and it might be a struggle to entertain both on days out etc. Just my personal preference.

Two minutes worked perfectly for us.

Appreciate that is not a timescale easily planned but it was a breeze. I cannot fathom how parents juggle different ages and the associated needs. Hats off to them.

Mine are 5 years gap - boy / girl. Definitely not as close as I was to my brother with two and a half year gap.

Were you pregnant a month or so after giving birth. I'm in awe that you even had the stamina!

There's a lot that's beyond your control. The smallest gap I could safely have was about 3 years due to health issues.

We've found similar with our just over 3 year 2 month gap. I'm very glad personally that we don't have anything smaller.

1-2 years so they are close in age and can play together

I wanted 2 years but had unexplained secondary infertility - so the answer is "as long as it takes!". Sadly, sometimes these things are not within our control.

I'm not sure anyone can answer this unless they have lots of children because if you just have 2/3 children then you don't know any different really.

There are 3 years between my children and it's lovely, they've always had a great bond and play with similar toys.

Four years between mine. The first was an absolute dream when the second was born. No jealousy at all, and they don’t tend to need the same kind of support at once. Before I had them I would have thought a smaller gap would be preferable but now I think 4 years is perfect.

3-4 years is good, still close enough to play together as get older - mine are 5.5 and just turned 9 and play brilliantly.
But they occupy different 'spaces developmentally, so there isn't the same level of competition/comparison.
We struggled to conceive 2nd so started trying at when oldest just turned 2, but took a while to conceive, our are 3 years 9 months apart, but 3 school years, which works great.

I think like you say it's a lot about the children's temperaments. In my circles, the ones with small gaps (in my mind less than 2years), the kids get on better but it was harder on the mum. Mine are almost 3yr apart and fight like cat and dog. My eldest didn't sleep until 2 so it was only then I felt able to consider ttc again.

Also a consideration is that health wise for you, 2yrs is recommended as a minimum gap to allow your body to fully recover.

My mum left 5 years between my sister and I and used to joke that means we both had the greatest chance of becoming a genius. Didn't work out sadly!!