To ask what you think the ideal age gap between kids is?

[Poppinpop]

In the ideal, what do you think works well? I know it could be personality dependent on both children too. Sorry as I’m sure it’s been done before as a topic!

I think there are pro and cons to all age gaps.

It depends on what's important to you as parents really.

And what you can afford - paying 2 lots of nursery fees or university fees at once can be brutal.

I used to want about an 18 month age gap so that they would be "close" before I had children then DS1 hit us like a hurricane and no way would I have managed 2 under 2 and kept my sanity!

We have a 3 year age gap between DS1 and DS2 and so far it's worked well. DS1 was potty trained, could understand instructions (like let me finish x then I can help) and could explain the concept of a little brother and liked feeling like a big boy "helping me out with baby" (stuff like can you pass me a muslin!)
DS2 had zero issues being in a sling for probably the first 7 months whilst I took DS1 to the playpark.
They have a really close bond and as much as DS1 will sometimes call DS2 annoying he also refuses to do certain things unless DS2 is able to join in and enjoy (now 6 and 3)

There's 16m between me and my brother and that was shit. From the child's perspective, I'd say at least 3 years.

2 years 1 month for me. The early days were hard but I had a good sleeper for the first one and a bad sleeper for the second one!

However now, they're close enough in age to play together. I also think by the time you get to three, the thought of doing it all again would be daunting and I feared I probably would have knocked it on the head. For me, at least.

It all depends on how the first one is, tbh.

I wanted 2.5-3 years but got 4.
It's been absolutely lovely.

4 year old excited to meet baby and old enough to understand when I need to do something like change nappy or do a feed. Also old enough to play alone a bit and has just started school.

It also meant I had 4 solid years with 1st child, which I think has benefited him (and which I really enjoyed).

I have a 4 year gap, 16 month gap, 3 year gap and 9 year gap so quite the range!
I would say it really depends on what your expectations are and how you feel I.e get nappies all over and done with quickly, joint activities for the kids but kids always together or bigger gap and more time with each baby on their own.
Every gap had pros and cons and I don't regret any of them.

4-5 years for me, they get a good amount of concentrated parenting and attention during the crucial years, they are usually able to go to the toilet, have some reasoning for patience and have some ability to play by themselves for a bit when the next sibling comes along and are sleeping well!
Mine are 17, 13 and 9 this year.

5 years for me, meant I had one at school so I could enjoy the 2nd one in the same way.

As others, 4 years is what life decided in our family. Eldest at pre-school and baby contact napping 😅 Their relationship was/is the most precious thing in the world 🥲

2-3 years was perfect for me, one out of nappies / toilet trained and going to preschool every afternoon to give me and the new baby sone time to sleep!

Well for me it's 15 months! (Gap between my 2 girls.)

Neither of them know life without each other, they were close companions as children, (fought a bit as teenagers, for several years,) but now are close as young adults. Were at school together for the most part too. Although it was a bit expensive having to buy 2 of everything, as they were so close (needed 2 of everything for school for example.) They had separate bedrooms, so if one woke in the night, they didn't wake the other.

I would not ever have wanted any other age gap.

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Girl/Boy 3 years 2 months apart. I could have had them closer but it didn't happen, it's always seemed perfect.

21 months between mine, I've really enjoyed this age gap.

5 and 3 worked for us. We were particularly smug about no uni overlap. That didn’t work out though. 😀

I've currently got a 7 month old, and would personally like to wait until she's around 3.5 to start trying for another baby (so between 4-5 years gap hopefully)

There's a year gap between my oldest two and 5 years between the younger two, I think every family just fits in with what they have, don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this.

I wanted my children to be close in age so thought about 2.5 years. Nature intervened and there are 23 months between them.
I have friends whose parents seemed to be having them via conveyor belts, and some who waited X amount of years between each child.
Their relationships really depend on how they are raised rather than ages, in my opinion.
My 2 are very close, always have been. Some friends children, whether conveyor belts or spanned out, have really gone by how the parents have treated them. Some are very close, in relationship, like best friends while some others can't be in the same room as one another.

Instead of concentrating just on the relationship between children, think about when YOU are ready for more!

I would have said 2 years until I had mine 4 years apart.

now I think 4 years are perfect

Hard if close or two college fees together!! My mam had small gaps 2 years. But we were easy kids lol she says

3 years. We have 14 months and just over three years. 3 in 4 years, the smaller age gap was brutal. DC3 just slotted in but I guest that could be down to personality.

3 years is the perfect gap, in my experience/opinion.

14 years it’s good for baby sitting.

My eldest 2 were 3 years 2 mths apart. Never got on. Constantly fighting.

3rd was 9 years after 2nd Million times easier

I'd probably say as small as possible so they're interested in the same things at the same time (play park, soft play, bowling etc) but I'm currently pregnant with my second and there's going to be an 8 year gap so I'm one to talk haha

We're one and done so for us the ideal is no second child. But when we were considering a second, we wanted a gap of around 3 years. There were a lot of practical reasons (not having two in nursery for too long, older one being potty trained and more independent, not wanting them to be at hugely different stages for hobbies/holidays/schools etc). But the main reasons were emotional ones based on our existing child.

I personally don't like age gaps where the older child is too young to understand what is going on. I would feel horrible turning their world upside down with essentially no warning and them not being able to comprehend why. I don't care that long term they won't remember it, I couldn't do that to a little toddler.