To ask what you think the ideal age gap between kids is?

[Poppinpop]

In the ideal, what do you think works well? I know it could be personality dependent on both children too. Sorry as I’m sure it’s been done before as a topic!

3 and a half years is great for us. Close enough to play together but when dd was born ds was fully toilet trained and went to preschool every morning.

They're 2.5 and 6 now and it's brilliant (except for when they argue and fight 🤣🥴)

1 school year apart in my opinion, so they go through similar stages at the same time and are interested in doing the same things as eachother

Two years or less. Small age gaps are hard work when they're babies but so much easier when they're older.

18m-2yrs. They're at a similar stage and enjoy the same activities quicker.

Apparently 3-4 years is the natural age gap as from a tribal perspective you can't manage two babies at once. You would breastfeed until at least 2, then your cycle would return (less well fed than modern people so wouldn't return sooner) get pregnant, baby around 3 years after the first. All seems quite sensible to me, but we are one and done so it's moot!

Read this too and makes lots of sense! We are having 3 years and 9.months and I had the same with my sister. A great gap but both due to fertility reasons.

I think lots of people will say whatever gap they have has worked great. When I had secondary infertility I struggled with people singing the virtues of small gaps but they obviously work well for some families. I wouldn't get hung up about how close they will or won't be as that's out of your control. Think about what you want your experience of parenting to be like.

I think the ideal gap is probably the one you end up with. So much of it is often just random though.

1 & 2 - 5 years

2&3 - 2 years

5 was far easier, by the time my second came along my first was in school, so I had time alone with her, he was also a lot easier to keep busy while I did things I needed to do and I found it quite easy.

my third brought chaos Id never imagined 😂 I love her dearly but right now I've got an almost 10 year old who is pretty chill and then a 4 and a 2 year old running around wrecking the place and causing havoc.

3.5 years was great. Older DC was aware that the baby was coming and old enough not to be jealous, but to be excited and happy to play and help with the baby. Was also out of nappies, in nursery, etc. But still young enough that they could do the same days out.

Oh come on, are we seriously still fixated on age gaps

There's no ideal gap, it's what works best for each family. Some people get caught up in this notion to have them close together so they'll get on and play together but it's personality more than age gap that will determine this.

My husband is best friends with his brother who is 5.5 years younger than him. Same interests, same sense of humour and same friends as they've become adults and always on the phone to each other. Whereas I have a twin brother who I have very vague memories of playing with when we were toddlers but apart from that we're like complete strangers. Completely different personalities, nothing in common, didn't socialise at all as kids, teenagers or adults and I genuinely couldn't remember the last time I spoke to him.

I've found 3 years to be fantastic. Not in nappies or bottles. Old enough to understand. Young enough to be friends. We've agreed our next will be at 2 years so long as at least one child is sleeping through. It has been tough waking for both kids but eldest is starting to sleep through some nights now.

I have an 8 year gap
they get on great most of the time

I had a gap of just under 2 year and it worked great. First 6 months was hard, breastfeeding baby and a potty training toddler at once was tough. But after that it was great, being close in age meant that they were in to similar things so days out, holidays etc suited them both rather than having one bored and complaining or having to juggle childcare to do things with them individually. They were really close and played really well together.

There are advantages and disadvantages of different age gaps. I've got 5 dc with different age gaps. Smaller age gaps are good because they have more in common but also manic with 2 lots of nappies, double buggy etc. Personally I found the gap with a newborn and primary school age child the hardest as the baby would always want to be fed at school run time.

This is a very interesting perspective.

There is 17 months between my two and I think my daughter would agree with you!

I don’t think there is such a thing as ‘the perfect age gap’.

I think the experience of child 1 plays a large part in determining the age gap before child 2/if child 2 is even going to exist. There was definitely a correlation amongst my friends: those who had straightforward pregnancies, births and babies who slept well, fed well and didn’t cry much went for <2 year age gaps. It worked well for some and was a nightmare for some, depending on what they got next. Those of us with more difficult pregnancies or births or more….spirited DC had larger gaps. Following on from that, I think the temperament of child 2 largely determines how easy or hard the jump from 1 to 2 is.