Would you do this? I feel weird about it but everyone is saying to take advantage

[Itsthebluecrayon]

I am due to have some minor ish surgery in May. I’ve been told recovery can take up to two weeks but a lot of people feel fine within 48 hours and back at work/usual tasks within a few days.

Obviously I’ve no idea how it will go until it gets to that point but having mentioned it to friends and family, everyone has said oh I hope you’ll make the most of taking some leave and have some time to yourself (or variations on this).

I don’t know if part of this is I’m a single parent so I haven’t had a ‘day off’ for over 2.5 years now (and toddler age child) or whether this would be the attitude generally. I haven’t had time off sick in several years and I have huge anxiety about it. I mentioned it to my mum (she’s not going to be impartial I guess!) and she said it’s obvious I am not well rested and I should think seriously about taking this opportunity in one go… taking multiple sick leave creates alerts whereas one following one event would not.

I have been really surprised by these comments and it’s made me think twice about rushing back in to work. What would you do? How long would you take?

Nobody will miss... you apart from the people who have to do your job for you AND theirs whilst you take the piss. Either that or if your absence genuinely won't be missed, you'll be made redundant. So which is it - are you making other people's lives more difficult by taking the time off or are you so pointless that you're just highlighting that you're expendable?

I agree. Take no less than a week. But two weeks if you need it.

What’s wrong with you?? The poster said she was having a hysterectomy. Do you not know what that is, or are you completely devoid of any empathy?

Said poster works in HR @DownThePubWithStevieNicks - confirmation, if it were ever needed, that HR exists only for the company and not the employee.

Sounds like you’ll likely get signed off for at least 2 weeks. Take it. DH had an op a couple of years ago and was signed off for 4 weeks, he was fine after about a week and a half but I said to just take the time. He’s never off sick and it actually came in handy as a few things came up during that time and he was able to sort it all.

I absolutely do know what a hysterectomy is. I also know that some recover very quickly and some take a lot longer. If the OP needs the time off, she should take the time off. My problem is that she is suggesting she will take time off whether she needs it or not.

That's actually quite a sad view of HR but not uncommon. I'm guessing you're still early in your career or quite junior. As you work your way up the ladder and learn more about how a business works, you'll understand more about the importance of HR and its contribution to the success of both the company AND its employees. HR is there to protect both.

Take the two weeks, but don't extend it to four weeks (as suggested by your family etc.) unless that's needed to recover. The full time recommended by your doctor is completely fine and what anyone in your situation would do. If you try to take more than that without needing it, you will be stuck if your work asks for evidence that you needed it in the form of a letter from your doctor or whatever. From your work's perspective, it's usually easier to plan for someone taking two weeks off than it is to plan for someone taking 48 hours and then saying they need longer at the last minute.

Ha ha ha! Absolutely not. I'm retired now, having left my last company as a director of some years.

So my view of HR is based completely on my experiences/observations of how they (departments and people) have acted in the various different companies I worked for.

And could you be any more patronising?

As you work your way up the ladder and learn more about how a business works

I also ran my own business for 15 years, so I know a little bit about it.

Someone should have told you about the dangers of 'ass u me'

I have to say I agree with @BIWI. Of course HR is there to help employees... but that's because ultimately good, happy, well looked after employees are good for the business. The core job of HR is to support the business by proposing and implementing policies and processes that improve the behaviour and longevity of useful staff members, while reducing or eliminating the impact of staff whose skills or bejaviours are not helpful.

You need to put your self first, ahead of work. Ultimately, employers don’t give a shit about their employees, so if you can legitimately take those two weeks off to recover, absolutely do it, and recover properly, and don’t feel bad about.

Take all the time needed to recover fully. You don't own shares in the company nor is it your own. If something were to happen to you tomorrow, all you'd get is a "hope you get better soon" card and no financial help offers or help with your child from them. You've always been a good employee, look after yourself.

I would just take the two weeks. I'd be bored after that! You may also not get signed off if the medical peeps don't think you need it. No idea what "re-set" would even mean.

This. I’d take the 2 weeks but not 4, unless it turns out I needed it.

I think your friends and family are going a bit OTT with their “re set” business tbh

You will need a sick note surely.

When I had my appendix out it was for 2 weeks. I could have worked sooner but was having a mental crisis too

Wow. If you think that's "attacky" then I can't help you.

I was merely pointing out that I was responding to a completely different point to the one you were making.

Take it if it’s been okayed. I went back to work too early after minor surgery and ended up feeling really awful. In fact people at work were surprised to see me and pretty much told me off.

You’re not having to do her job though so why don’t you back off.

Take what you need. Your body will tell you when you're ready to go back.

Take what you need to recover and feel back to your old self.
No point going back as soon as you feel good as you could have a setback, so allow for that.

But keep your moral compass, people are quick to give advice they don't necessarily use themselves.

So as long as you don't take the P and open yourself up to getting in trouble if work found out.

I remember when in my 40s had keyhole surgery on the Friday, and work in retail so on your feet, a small team of 4 including me, said I shoud come back to work on the Monday, well I did, but I remember the terrible cramp pains I felt sick, I wouldn't do it again .

So you mention the doc's recovery recommendation.

No need to rush back, but don't take liberties either.

We all have different morals, stick to yours without making yourself ill.

The recommended time will include extra days, not a case of stitches out and back in the next day.

When I had my gall bladder out, the surgeon wrote me a sick note for 4 weeks without even seeing me afterwards. So I had to take the time off, it wasn't my choice.
You have to plan for the worst case scenario. Much better that your work don't expect you back for two weeks, then they can put cover in place. 2 weeks is not long at all when serious sickness can mean people are off for months.
If you tell them you'll be back after 48 hours but then you have complications, and they expected you back so there's no cover for you, they'll be far more annoyed.