Would you do this? I feel weird about it but everyone is saying to take advantage

[Itsthebluecrayon]

I am due to have some minor ish surgery in May. I’ve been told recovery can take up to two weeks but a lot of people feel fine within 48 hours and back at work/usual tasks within a few days.

Obviously I’ve no idea how it will go until it gets to that point but having mentioned it to friends and family, everyone has said oh I hope you’ll make the most of taking some leave and have some time to yourself (or variations on this).

I don’t know if part of this is I’m a single parent so I haven’t had a ‘day off’ for over 2.5 years now (and toddler age child) or whether this would be the attitude generally. I haven’t had time off sick in several years and I have huge anxiety about it. I mentioned it to my mum (she’s not going to be impartial I guess!) and she said it’s obvious I am not well rested and I should think seriously about taking this opportunity in one go… taking multiple sick leave creates alerts whereas one following one event would not.

I have been really surprised by these comments and it’s made me think twice about rushing back in to work. What would you do? How long would you take?

Are you having a general anaesthetic? It can take a surprisingly long time to recover from that, even if your wound is completely healed you can still feel very tired.

4 weeks would be taking the piss if medical staff have suggested 2 weeks, but don’t go back early if they’re happy to sign you off for 2 weeks.

Take as much time as you need, humans are not designed to be little bees constantly working to make rich people richer.

I know someone who took a month off after laser eye surgery. Go for it.

Take what they offer - take it all. You need to recover properly

Is taking unpaid parental leave an option?

That can't be true. Who the hell sanctioned that?

Definitely take as long as you
. As soon as you go back you will be expected to perform at 100%.and you won't be appreciated for making the effort. In my experience people who do more have more expected but from them.
I hope your operation goes well and that you rest up well afterwards

Currently waiting for surgery min 2 week off and then can apparently get another 2 if needed. Everyone is telling me to go for the extra 2 just use it as time off etc make sure I’m fully better

I would aim to take the 2 weeks but if I felt able to would go back earlier. Like pp have said there may be complications.

Take what you need and then a couple of extra days to make sure you are definitely better.

Will you be paid for the full time off? They may only pay statutory.

I would tell your employer that the doctor has said anywhere between 48hours and two weeks. Say you'd like to plan for a week off but will let them know on day 2 how your recovery is progressing and if your likely to be back sooner or need longer. Then you'll also check in at the end of the first week.

They may well then just tell you to take the 2 weeks- happy days its come from them. But if you end up feeing completely wiped and need to take longer then you have already shown willing, and that you aren't using it as an excuse to just get some time to yourself.

Of course take all the time you need!

You won't be very helpful to anyone, work included, if you don't.

The rest is a bit up to you. It depends on the job, on the commute, on the kind of role you have and how you feel about it, on the kind of catch-up you have to do when you come back.

If it's purely to pay the bills, what difference an extra 5 days will make? Take 3 weeks if you need to!

If you go back early you won’t get any pats on the back for doing that

However if you go back early and then find you need a day or 2 here and there off because you haven’t given yourself time to properly heal and recover. Then work will get annoyed at the time you have off

There is no point in going back early.

Rest, recover and recharge

Take as long as you need, don't go back to work until recovered. Employers won't thank you for being a martyr, believe me.

Take the full amount suggested. It can often take much longer to recover from surgery than the times suggested by the consultants. I speak from experience.

So surprised by these comments. I was expecting people to tell me to crack on!

The difficulty is I have really played it down at work as I didn’t want to seem like a burden. So now I think they will expect me back within a few days.

Why the fuck would she do that if the doctor will sign her off so she gets sick pay?

I’ve got a feeling from your post that generally you incline to neglect yourself a bit and prioritize work/ responsibilities. So your friends and relatives are not saying to you that you should pretend that you are unwell when you are not. They are trying to change your attitude.
A surgery can have different effect on different people. If a single person working part time as an accountant was able to come back to their working from home pattern after 3 days off in a quiet month of February it didn’t mean that a single mother, secondary school teacher, with a longish commute would be able to come back and cope successfully after 3 days off in a busy period of GCSEs preparation.
You do you. Take the time off on an advice of your doctor, be realistic not a martyr.
And don’t tell anything of it on the workplace as it might give them a wrong impression, just pass factual
medical advice which was that you will have at least 2 weeks off.

Don't make the mistake I made of rushing back to work/normal life. In hindsight I realise it severely delayed my full recovery.

She's completely deluded. DH has just had a hip replacement. He's been signed off for a minimum 12 weeks. He's a week post surgery now and no chance he could sit at a desk all day and work.

I think you and I are similar - when you're off sick do you feel guilty and worry that people think you're shirking, even when you know logically that's not true? If so, "milking it" is not going to be restful or relaxing. Take the time off that you need plus two days, because often we have a sort of second wind where you feel much better but the next day you feel shit again. If you have two good days in a row you should be fine to go back.

and she said it’s obvious I am not well rested and I should think seriously about taking this opportunity in one go… taking multiple sick leave creates alerts whereas one following one event would not.
I think your mum is bang on the money!

I assume you work from the Bradford factor at work. So one continuous sick leave is better than a few sick days here and there. I think you should take some extra time just because as a single parent, your recovery time will be less than someone who has a partner taking the brunt of most of the household and childcare stuff. Take care of yourself.