Would you do this? I feel weird about it but everyone is saying to take advantage

[Itsthebluecrayon]

I am due to have some minor ish surgery in May. I’ve been told recovery can take up to two weeks but a lot of people feel fine within 48 hours and back at work/usual tasks within a few days.

Obviously I’ve no idea how it will go until it gets to that point but having mentioned it to friends and family, everyone has said oh I hope you’ll make the most of taking some leave and have some time to yourself (or variations on this).

I don’t know if part of this is I’m a single parent so I haven’t had a ‘day off’ for over 2.5 years now (and toddler age child) or whether this would be the attitude generally. I haven’t had time off sick in several years and I have huge anxiety about it. I mentioned it to my mum (she’s not going to be impartial I guess!) and she said it’s obvious I am not well rested and I should think seriously about taking this opportunity in one go… taking multiple sick leave creates alerts whereas one following one event would not.

I have been really surprised by these comments and it’s made me think twice about rushing back in to work. What would you do? How long would you take?

What are you having done OP?

A basic tooth extraction is still minor surgery, despite the risks. You can't make up your own definitions and expect people to use them.

So when you have the op you tell them you've been recommendtwo weeks and you've had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic or you're still in pain and not able to work.

You're allowed to change your mind.

Indeed! OP, take the time needed to fully recover, it could be a few days / 2 weeks / more, but planning in advance to take 4w when the expected recovery time is ‘up to 2w’ is dishonest, I’m not sure why your friends are giving you this advice.

I would go back when ready noting the advice you received was that you’ll probably take days vs weeks to recover. For planning I would let them know 1 week off, possibility of 2. Seems to me being binary about this in advance and potentially taking unneeded leave is spending capital you may need later when you really do need it.

Fully support the principles of recovery and not going back under par - I went back WFH 1 week after shattering my leg which, consistent w other posters, represented a return too early. But from what you’ve said, this is not that - the probable few days was guidance from medical experts?

Being fair about time off when healthy enough seems like the way forward to me and pays you back in the long run. Maybe I’ve been lucky regarding where I’ve worked.

I recommend taking at least 4 weeks.

Simply defer to your doctor.

"Dear Work, Doctor has advised 2 weeks for recovery before returning to work. Please find doctors' note attached. See you then. Kind regards."

I agree with others about taking the time you need but also wanted to say that as someone who is rarely ill and seems to have a lot of guilt about it, you are unlikely to be a good judge of "the time you need". So let your doctor do that and you just knuckle under! Recovering from the tiredness of recovery is just a important as recovering from pain.

It sounds like these two weeks are going to be a stitch in time that saves burnout and more serious illness (that really could be a 'burden') down the line.

Take it from someone who made herself worryingly ill with overwork (thinking she was coping fine) to the point her mother moved in for a week because she literally couldn't get out of bed to sit with her child and because her husband was so concerned...

Not sure if I've missed the point... what's the advantage to going back earlier?

Take what your signed off for, but if dr will go for 4 weeks do it. Tell employer that. If after 2 weeks you’re fine, bored and raring to go, go back early.

Just tell work it’s more serious than you thought & the dr has advised its minimum 2 weeks recovery & get a sick/fit note for 2 weeks. It’s much easier as an employer to know someone is off at least two weeks rather than “maybe a few days” then extending it day by day. (I know not always possible)
If you feel well after a week, then take the extra week to reset & be fully recovered. If towards end of week 2 you are still tired/sore/not quite right (but could probably force yourself to go in) get another week’s fit note. No point going back too early & knocking yourself back, but equally, don’t milk it & take an extra 2 weeks just for the sake of it.

It probably depends on your type of job too.

That would DEFINITELY be a piss-take; don't do that. But absolutely take two weeks.

Haven’t read the thread but I’d say it really depends on the job and you should not feel bad about your decision, whatever it is.

Over the course of my career I’ve had 2 major surgeries (pretty traumatic, not being able to stand and walk, needing to keep the leg up, lack of sleep at night for 2 weeks, painkillers etc) and a minor one.
Every time, the doctor said “I’m going to write you a sick note for 2 weeks”, every time I said no need, don’t bother.
I have significant responsibilities and missing 2 weeks would have set me back. In addition I can do my job from home, in those instances I would spend the first few days working on my computer from the bed before being able to stand and go at the desk.
When children were small my parents came over to help, afterwards I just relied on home help.

Despite not really resting as recommended it didn’t hinder my recovery as I was still diligent following doctors’ advice and rehabilitation.

The problem is, if it's something fairly mainstream, someone else at the company will almost certainly have had the same surgery or at least know someone who has. I had surgery and needed 2.5 weeks off (still felt pretty crap when I went back) but of course my boss's wife had had the same surgery and taken 3 days off... He was fine about it and said people recover differently but I felt a bit of judgment. It won't affect anything as they can't legally do anything if you're signed off but it may make them look at you differently.

When I had foot surgery a few years ago, the hospital doctor actually wrote my 'sick note' and gave it to me on discharge. He said 6 weeks off. After 4 weeks I was pretty good on my crutches and feeling absolutely fine, so contacted work and said I was ready to return. It was a right palaver and I had to have arrange an Occ Health assessment to demonstrate how I could exit the building unaided in event of an emergency ( I had a ground floor office and said I would climb out of the window if necessary, which didn't go down well!)

I don’t know how to quote messages but fully agree with the following post above : “Being fair about time off when healthy enough seems like the way forward to me and pays you back in the long run. Maybe I’ve been lucky regarding where I’ve work“.

This has been exactly my experience although I don’t think it’s pure luck. Those around me who’ve always used all their entitlements (even when not needed) are not the ones with high flying careers today. Different mindsets, different outcomes in life.

Tell your employer that they’ve said it can take four weeks. Prepare them for that, then you can always get a four week sick note from your surgeon on the understanding if you are well and truly better you could always go to GP for a fit note after two weeks.

I’d take the whole 4 weeks, if that’s what is recommended but I do use sick leave when I need it and get full pay. Im deffo not the type to martyr myself so may not be a good judge lol

The surgeon said 2 weeks, not 2 days. It's in the op.

The poster I was replying to said the OP was selfish for considering it, because someone else would lose out, not OP herself.

I would take a week, but it depends on the procedure

No it isn’t. She said she’d been told . Not my whom. If you’re going to come over all attacky it’s best to read it before running in rolling your sleeves up

You need to clear that up asap. Say you’ve spoken to surgeon and they’ve made it clear it’s not as straightforward as you anticipated.

Take the recovery. You’ve never had time off in the past 3 years even if they are a bit put out your track record shows you don’t take advantage. People on mumsnet are always telling people they shouldn’t call in sick. Saw one woman who sounded like she was about to have a mental breakdown and people were telling her to think of her colleagues!

You would be in a better position if your employer is prepared for your time off rather than you calling up after in a lot of pain and having to take 2 weeks off

Take all the recommended time off, medical advice needs to be followed.

So some people feel ready to go back to work sooner, but you need time to heal properly.

I've had several operations and always follow the advice.

Take the two weeks.
pray that you feel better quickly. But feel relaxed knowing you have time to rest and recover
Surely it’s easier for your boss/team to plan for a longer break than for a short one that needs to be extended.

What is the doctor signing you off for? If it's two weeks then two weeks is what you go for.

I agree having an extra two weeks because family and friends have suggested it would be wrong, and if you are still unwell at that point you could extend your sick note.

If however it is the doctor saying 4 weeks then get that time off, but go back sooner if you are bored/ready.

This doesn’t seem like much of a difficulty to me. You don’t have to tell your boss your life story. All you need to do is hand in your sick note.

I'm due to have a hysterectomy later this year and have been told recovery could be up to 12 weeks depending on how complex - I can have up to six months full sick pay if I need it, and the only times I've been off previously have been due to other surgeries (3 weeks off max) and once a long period for MH reasons. I came to realise that absolutely no one was missing me while I wasn't there - the world still turned as normal - so I'll be taking the full 12 weeks whether I need it or not!