If you could afford to how many years of education would you fund for your children

[Bellsjames]

I have 3 children all are young adults. We are in position where we have the ability to fund our children’s education, I know many are not able to so I appreciate this question is niche.

Of our children, 1 has done a 4 year course here in the UK, we have funded everything for this so no student debt at all including the fees for the course itself. She is soon starting a 3 year course (postgrad level).
1 has done a 3 year course, same all fees and costs covered.
1 is in their last year of uni and planning to do a masters so another year.

So far we have/have agreed to pay all fees associated with studying, including fees, rent, bills and an allowance for personal spending. All of them have picked up work on the long summers, sometimes adhoc things like tutoring or giving music lessons, others more consistent like hospitality.

It came up in conversation with a relative today and she was shocked that we agreed to fund anything past undergrad even if we could afford to. She was also shocked that we don’t plan to even it out between the kids who will do 3/4 years vs the one who will do 7 in terms of spending as I view it we will fund all education be it 3 years or 7 but it’s up to them how long they stay in education.

If you could how much would you fund? Do you think we are being unreasonable in our approach?

same as you dh/i paid for all the post secondary that they wanted to do (3 kids). one took 4 years, one 5 and one 8. all debt free, zero student loans.
they are near 40 now and we still help out from time to time (the one that did the 4 year, might do a masters), the 5 year one considered retraining and we offered to help etc.

they are 18mth apart so for a few years it was tight BUT we wanted to do it and we can do it with careful budgeting.
the trio never once commented that x got a better deal, vs y or z. they each picked their own path and we supported the best we could at the time.

I’ve agreed to fund a masters post undergrad, that’ll be five years for one DC. However DC1 commutes from home.

It’s not a one size fits all is it. DC1 wants to become a university lecturer (we are a family full of lecturers). If DC2 wants to do a masters at the same phase I’ll do the same.

I’m not hugely rich. Comfortable, single parent with a decent income and a quiet lifestyle. I work with a lot of people who did undergrad, masters, PhD and didn’t leave full time education at 21 so this is not an unusual path for me to see.

I’ll pay the tuition fees and continue to keep a roof over their head, keep their car running and carry on giving them £200 a month (they have a PT job). I’ll help DC2 in a different way if they choose another route, eg I’d fund travelling to a similar level of cost.

We plan to fund undergrad and depending on finances may assist with grad school.

we only have one child, but if we had multiple children I would not balance the spending. I value education. If my child wants to put in the work to get an education, it is my job to support them to the best of my ability. If they choose to go directly into the workforce they can support themselves financially with the money they earn.

Both our parents funded us up to our masters and would have continued if we wanted to pursue phds. I hope to be able to do the same for my children.

I offered to pay but neither boys wanted a anything from us saying they would self fund and they were adament they were quite capable of sorting themselves out.
As it turned out both have got their employers to pay for their masters and industry specific qualifications so it's been a win all round.

I have 1 DC and am funding 4 years... I doubt he'll want to study beyond that, but if he does he'll either need to self-fund or (more likely) get his employer to pay for it.

If I had more than 1 child I would do similar - but if they hadn't wanted to go to uni I wouldn't try to even it out, since they'd be (presumably) earning their own money so would be able to support themselves. It would be different if one child had been handed £100k and told to do what they want with it, and the other given nothing...

All of it, if I could afford it.

I don't understand this trend of trying to make it things harder for our children. We're supposed to be making things easier for our children each generation, give them more opportunities than we had if we can.

Think some people are spiteful towards their own children and want them to ride on the struggle bus just because they feel they did (even if they didn't). They feel it taught them something - I mean I agree, but I think all it's taught them is to be bitter, selfish and greedy now.

Kids who get a lot of support from parents tend to be very successful in life. You get the odd one in the news with Rich Kid Syndrome.. But there are a lot fewer of those than there are adults who are having worse problems (crime, economic inactivity due to poor health , life of poverty) because their parents didn't help
Couldn't help is obviously understandable and not the parents fault. Wouldn't help, I don't think I'll ever fully understand - especially if their own parents helped them.

I expect mine to get loans - we will support them in other ways (I’m guessing paying for accommodation and/or an allowance), but I’m not convinced that paying for everything teaches them how to manage their finances. I also think that the fact that they only get the loan once focuses their minds in terms of what they want to study - I would far rather they went to uni after several years out, with a clear idea of what what they want study. We will however support them financially through unpaid internships, assist them with contacts and so on.

I think I'll play it by ear. I aim to save as much as I can to support DS but I don't want him to rely on it as a gateway to an easy life. So if I can see he's really committed to a career that takes a Masters/PHD I'd be happy to pay for it, but if he wants to do one as a 'ooh, not sure what to do next in my life, I'll just keep studying' then probably not.

I only have 1 child, but if I had more I'd probably want to even it out over time on these 'big' purchases - so I wouldn't hand over a cash equivalent just because their sibling was studying longer, but I'd likely pay more towards their wedding/house deposit etc so everyone had received roughly the same at the end.

If I could afford it, I would support all three of mine through all education. However, I would give them the choice of me paying for their uni fees or keeping the money for a lump sum towards a house. This is what my parents did and I took the lump sum as I’m highly unlikely to ever fully pay back my uni fees.

I am very lucky in that my parents have always said to myself and my brother that they will fund ‘anything to do with education’. This has included undergrad, PhDs, and professional exams ie my brother is a surgeon and his consultant exams.

They have always made huge sacrifices to be able to do this for us.

it has never crossed our mind that it would need to be ‘equal’ between us - it is simply that they will support our education choices. I assume my brothers has cost a lot more, but have never even thought about it!!

Fees are free here for both undergraduate and masters degrees, living cost loans are fairly generous (about £900 per month) and interest rates are about 1.2%, you also get a grant on top that you don’t need to pay back.

If either of them decide to go to university we would top up their living cost loan, but we wouldn’t be funding university for them. They would be adults, if they want to invest in a certain time of education they need to accept that part of the investment is financial.

I would if i could afford to.i don't see the need to 'even' it out. The stipulations are clear, fund education. Its their choice what courses, how long. Else you would be going on forever.

We funded all. The kids chose.
We also gave each a small help with house deposit.
One child has had less than the others and we plan to give him a bigger house deposit help.
None of them asked for help, we insisted.

I wouldnt fund a masters. In the uk they are a bit pointless, the unis will take any foreign student with a fat enough wallet & they have little impact on your earning potential

I would pay for all of them, including postgraduate, and I wouldn't worry about "evening it out".

I actually wouldn't support a phd either. I know a few people with them and none use them career wise, it was a waste of 4 years. Universities just create them a source of cheap labour.

But there are a lot fewer of those than there are adults who are having worse problems (crime, economic inactivity due to poor health , life of poverty) because their parents didn't help

Crime and poor health aren’t caused by not getting help with university fees - there’s more going on for those kids than the choice of a full ride at university or a free ride.

I’m in two minds, one of my two is likely to go to university and, as a care experienced child, will get quite a bit of financial support from the government. I want to make university as easy as possible for him because he will have different challenges to most but I also want him to make his own way as and when he can so it’ll be a negotiation in terms of what I support and whether he’s able to work.

My DD will need a lot of support into independence and may always need help so while I won’t be strictly evening things out I will be supporting them both into adulthood.

Hm interesting I’m not sure what I would do if we were in this type of situation. DD is doing a DPT (Doctorate of Physiotherapy and lives abroad where this is pretty standard for that career) and DS masters has been recommended by both companies he’s done work experience with.

It would depend on the type of postgraduate degree they wanted to do.

If it was something that definitely made them more employable, sure. Like the various allied health professionals masters degrees.Though I think it is good to work alongside studying so I might not fully fund it.

But I know lots of people who have done masters degrees that were slightly pointless because they were avoiding getting a job and just wanted to hang out at university more.

And PhDs are mostly for academia in the UK which is highly competitive - if my child hadn't secured funding for their PhD, I would want to be quite sure it was actually something they could realistically make a career out of

My parents funded an undergrad for me, that's as far as I went. They funded a masters for my sister and gave me a rough equivalent in cash which was wonderful and appreciated, but I wouldn't have felt aggrieved if they didn't

My husband left home at 20, moved to a different city to start working in his chosen career and supported himself from then. His brother went to uni and was supported by their parents.

This definitely caused some resentment. On one hand, DH was earning, and his brother wasn’t; but it still felt to him like a big inequality in how they were treated (and in fact the dynamic has continued now they are adults, BIL still gets more practical and financial help because ‘he needs it’ whereas DH and I are perceived not to).

This has definitely made me determined that for my own kids, we will support them equally financially (this for us is unlikely to be funding the entirety of their degrees and living expenses but I’d make sure they have an equal lump sum when they turn 18, for instance).

I think the decision to study is deciding to invest in their development, and it means they need to think about whether that investment will pay off in the long term.

In your shoes I would do exactly as you have any no I wouldn't even it up.

I wouldn't self fund a PhD I don't think, but I probably would give top ups to a DC doing a funded one as the stipends aren't much (assuming they were working hard and knew the value of money).

In reality we won't be as comfortable as you by the time our DC reach that stage, so we may have to make some difficult decisions. I certainly wouldn't fund something for the eldest if I wouldn't be able to give the same to the youngest if they wanted it.

@weareallcats Anecdotally I have found the opposite; I’m in my late twenties, one of the first years to have the £9k fees. The only friends who haven’t used their degrees are ones who used the loans. At the time it feels like free money, it’s only when you’re paying hundreds a month for the balance to be increasing you realise the effect it has. I did use mine but it’s only going up despite the fact I’m paying it off and it’s a millstone around my neck tbh.

My DP ended up doing something completely different and niche that didn’t require a degree and now loses about £400 a month to a pointless student loan, which he freely admits he only did because the funding was there and all his friends were going. Had his parents been paying, he wouldn’t have gone and he’d be approx £5k a year better off. Even at that level he’s unlikely to pay the loans off over 30 years as the interest is so punitive, so that’s £150,000 over 30 years of payments for loans worth £45k. Not a sympathy vote, it was a decision he made which annoys him immensely but I think the idea that the loans make people more careful about what they study is false (in my friendship and peer group anyway!).

Then the friends whose parents paid for their living have far less concept of budgeting or money management; those of us who worked to support ourselves seem to have a better handle on it. Outside of Oxbridge and medicine there’s really few degrees you can’t manage a part time job alongside.

If I were able to I’d far rather pay the fees with perhaps a small amount of day to day support but expect them to get a part time job.

I'll fund UG and professional exams, but there would have to be negotiation around anything else. I have a pointless MA which I took a loan out for, I won't be paying for any more of them.