If you could afford to how many years of education would you fund for your children

[Bellsjames]

I have 3 children all are young adults. We are in position where we have the ability to fund our children’s education, I know many are not able to so I appreciate this question is niche.

Of our children, 1 has done a 4 year course here in the UK, we have funded everything for this so no student debt at all including the fees for the course itself. She is soon starting a 3 year course (postgrad level).
1 has done a 3 year course, same all fees and costs covered.
1 is in their last year of uni and planning to do a masters so another year.

So far we have/have agreed to pay all fees associated with studying, including fees, rent, bills and an allowance for personal spending. All of them have picked up work on the long summers, sometimes adhoc things like tutoring or giving music lessons, others more consistent like hospitality.

It came up in conversation with a relative today and she was shocked that we agreed to fund anything past undergrad even if we could afford to. She was also shocked that we don’t plan to even it out between the kids who will do 3/4 years vs the one who will do 7 in terms of spending as I view it we will fund all education be it 3 years or 7 but it’s up to them how long they stay in education.

If you could how much would you fund? Do you think we are being unreasonable in our approach?

I agree - our car was in the garage and my kids wanted to get a taxi home from an activity - so I gave them the cost of the taxi and said - you choose, we can get a taxi home with that money or we can walk and you can split it between you. It didn't take them very long to decide to walk.
People make different choices when they are spending their own money compared to spending their parents - I expect my kids to spend my money the way they'd spend their own and they are very careful with their own money. Having money gives you choices - they have to learn to make good ones.

I’m a single parent, good income but it’s a struggle supporting student DC.

DC1 did 4yr degree. I paid for accommodation, he had a loan for the fees and some savings gifted by GPs for living costs. He was frugal so it worked OK.

DC2 is also doing 4yrs - on same basis. But she is a spender and this is a worry. She also had GP savings but I think is burning through them too fast. I pay for rent. She has tuition loan and has now also chosen to take a maintenance loan. Her degree is less prestigious and I worry what the future holds. I also worry that having been gifted money she doesn’t realise the value. She tends to think I am being mean.

My own bugbear is that their father isn’t obliged to pay anything, and doesn’t. In fact since he walked out on us seven years ago they haven’t seen or heard from him, which obviously hurts but that’s another story.

OK, so I am the reliable one, they have me and I am supporting them as much as I can. But is it fair that the law says they are adults and parents don’t need to fund them yet in reality they couldn’t study without this financial support?

I agree @LoneAndLoco - and it's staggeringly expensive. DS1's rent (does include bills, but even so) is £205 a week, and that's the cheapest tier of student accommodation at his place, no meals included in that. "Cheapest" doesn't mean "rat-infested hovel" either, it's very nice, he shares a bathroom and small kitchenette with one other first year, and his room is decent.

Probably four, but I only have one. My colleague did undergrad for all, any further studying was on them. I think that's reasonable, but obviously depends on what you can afford. I think having them pay some of the costs, ie through a summer job is fair.

@LoneAndLoco my kids only have me too. Their father is feckless and hasn’t contributed for a decade. He was an emotionally abusive idiot so I prefer him out of the equation tbh, but yes it is tough at times.

It's up to you what you spend your money on

Given that they all seem conscientious (eg picking up summer jobs) rather than taking the mick, I'd carry on as you are.

I think you need to be led by them - I have seen plenty of kids who were funded lack motivation to work hard - then again they might have been like that funding or not. I think it’s not great for personal development to be wholly dependent on your parents into your late 20s - it feels like delayed independence, I can’t help feeling that it’s not great for the feeling of self worth you gain from not being reliant on your parents into adulthood.

I think it depends. Both my masters have helped me tremendously step up in my careers.

I changed careers.

Undergrad but it’s 6 years (medicine with interc year)

I could afford it but i wouldn't.