Two faced girl

[T52227]

Theres a girl at my partners work, who is constantly making fun of others behind their backs. Acting like she is better than them making them unhappy. As she is the only girl she seems to get humoured alot by others. I feel she needs it pointing out to her that everyone is just humouring her and she needs to realise that she is no better than anyone else and in fact they think the same of her. She seems to think she is above them. I feel her two faced behaviour is going back fire an cause more misery. She is on the phone to the boss and my partner tattling and making fun of people for hours, i do not think she can be trusted and i do not think it is fair on others. I do not know why she is not told to grow up or why she gets away with it. If she was a male she would be ignored. Should i put her back in her place with some home truths or let her carry on making life miserable for everyone?

Do you really want to interfere in your partner's work life? That'll not go well

You don't work there, why are you getting involved?

And what does this have to do with you ?

Don't like your partner working and getting calls from a woman?

Why would you get involved?

You would look ridiculous and jealous If you got involved. These are adults and it’s not a playground fall out.

I do not know why she is not told to grow up
Oh the irony.

It might be a better idea to tell your partner a few home truths. You could start by reminding him what the red button on his phone's for.

Not your circus 🎪

Not your business.

Should i put her back in her place with some home truths or let her carry on making life miserable for everyone?

Have you missed out a key bit of info, like you work there too? Because if not, you're the partner of her colleague - you can't put her in her place. Nor do you have the ability to "let her" carry on as she is.

Hang about, do you work there too?

Fair enough. I will leave her to being sly and destroying the business and my partner will end up out of work away from it. Six people have left since she started poisoning everyone against everyone, two more are leaving. Your right its none of my business. Im just seeing it on the outside and seeing a long established family business get destroyed. Thanks all for your comments. I do not have issues with my partner talking to her. She is no threat to me other than the fact she is making it so nobody wants to work there any more and making everyone miserable, but the higher up people cannot see it. But yes your all correct ill grow up and leave her to it. The place is like a playground. Infact i think nursery children behave better than she does.

Perhaps your partner could explore other job opportunities.

Believe me i have. But shes young and good at crying. Nobody wants to upset her for some reason, so the higher up people are blind to how she is treating everyone and that people are leaving because of her. It is like a circus. They struggle enough to get staff and she is driving them all away. She has made what used to be a good place to work a rather miserable place. She needs someone to say to her they are not interested in her childish games. But they have to answer to her as it could actually be work related. But i just need to forget about it and let it all happen.

Sometimes yes

He is. But he is also good to his word so will see the season through

If your partner is enabling her consistently unprofessional behaviour that's on him. Is he her manager? He shouldn't be complaining to you about it, he should be acting to ensure a professional atmosphere in his workplace.

Well surely the people who have left have said why. If the business doesnt listen that's their own problem.

So is there two sides? The group who want to protect her from crying and the group who are leaving?

Dont get involved you will look mad.

Oh dear, are you back at primary school? Find some more grown-up things to occupy yourself - maybe read a good book or two.

Wait just read you work there too. Makes notes of what she is saying and date them. Complain to hr. I mean if it bothers you do something about it.

Do I smell a bit of jealousy? I think I do.

You wouldn’t be the least bit bothered if the woman in question was a craggy-faced 60 year old with hairs on her chin.

Your AIBU is actually ‘AIBU for being so extremely bothered by my partner spending a lot of time gossiping on the phone with a young thing he works with?’ And yes, you would be BU.

How do you know all of this stuff if your partner who works there doesn't?

Why do you think it's your role to decide where her 'place' is, and put her in it?

You seem very dramatic. The whole business will be destroyed, your partner will be out of work, you and everyone else can see it, except the people in charge.

Why is your partner spending hours on the phone with her while she takes the piss out of other members of staff?

The person sounds very troubled. How were you planning to persuade them to change their behaviour? It's probably very deeply entrenched and I doubt they take feedback well.

Nobody wants to upset her for some reason, so the higher up people are blind to how she is treating everyone and that people are leaving because of her. It is like a circus. They struggle enough to get staff and she is driving them all away. She has made what used to be a good place to work a rather miserable place. She needs someone to say to her they are not interested in her childish games

While she may be awful, this is a management problem if they have multiple people leaving, a problem employee, miserable staff, and they are blind to it.