Two faced girl

[T52227]

Theres a girl at my partners work, who is constantly making fun of others behind their backs. Acting like she is better than them making them unhappy. As she is the only girl she seems to get humoured alot by others. I feel she needs it pointing out to her that everyone is just humouring her and she needs to realise that she is no better than anyone else and in fact they think the same of her. She seems to think she is above them. I feel her two faced behaviour is going back fire an cause more misery. She is on the phone to the boss and my partner tattling and making fun of people for hours, i do not think she can be trusted and i do not think it is fair on others. I do not know why she is not told to grow up or why she gets away with it. If she was a male she would be ignored. Should i put her back in her place with some home truths or let her carry on making life miserable for everyone?

I'd say that there's jealousy there! Not keen on your partner taking phone calls from this person?
I honestly can't see that your partners job or workplace is any of your business. Interference like this would open a can of worms.
It doesn't actually matter what sort of a person she is, that's irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. This is a you issue.

She is on the phone to the boss and my partner tattling and making fun of people for hours

Agree with PPs that it's for the family/bosses to sort this out, but why are they encouraging this by engaging with it for "hours"?

Frankly they sound no better than she is - in fact the whole place sounds a mess - but anyway she clearly needs dealing with (and so what if she cries?)

It's not your business and if she talking to your husband during working hours for hours tattling on people, its your husband who should tell her to stop and he doesn't want to hear.
I think your worried cause she's chatting for hours to your husband, and he seams to enjoy it. Why else would he be listening to her.

I think you should stay out of this. You’re far too involved in your partners job.

Not only will you look completely insane by approaching her and putting your nose in business which frankly doesn’t directly involve you in a place you don’t work - it’s very likely going to negatively impact your partner.

Stay out of it.

It’s definitely none of your business, so don’t address her directly yourself.
Your partner could always let management know why people are unhappy/leaving, but there’s a risk it will blow back on him.

Otherwise, he just needs to get off the phone when she calls (if he HAS to answer in the first place!). Ask him to wrap it up within a minute - gotta go, we’re in the middle of xxx, or gotta go, xxx is waiting for me etc.

You are doing too much. It's not your problem. No she's wouldn't be ignored if she was male either, that's silly to say, I think the other male coworkers would be very quick to deal with it, which they will do at some point if it's needed. You overstepping boundaries to deal with person in your partners work is ludicrous. He'll get laughed at by his work buddies too, and he'll deserve it tbh. Say nothing, do nothing.

She is in secure that's her defence she probably very very scared coming to work try and have a gentle chat with her and be her friend she probably does not know how to act one day you may need a friend like that life is to short chill😀

Yup, I thought this. Maybe her hubbie is the issue, not the coworker. It's jealousy and insecurity. Partners tend to bad mouth women they work to their partner's at home because they have something to hide.

But if you interfere ,you are doing the same, listening to second hand tittle tattle and reacting. Not your circus, not your monkeys , that's what management is for. Although I can see you are bothered by it, be kind to yourself and don't get involved, it won't go well .

Not your workplace, not your problem. And assuming that the female in question is over 18, she's not a girl, she's an adult.

It's not for you to say anything. And even if you did I imagine the response would not be awakening self awareness in her. It would be "T52227 said I was...and said that's what you all think of me." And everyone saying "no, what a meanie T52227 is, of course we don't think that." Even if they very much do think it.

Stay out of it. Not your circus. They sound like a bunch of idiots if, as you say, one person is making so many staff members unhappy. Are they men or mice?

Why are you getting involved in matters not og your concerns. If it's your partner's concern not yours

Do you mean woman, why do you keep calling her a girl?

I personally do & I'm 58. It's judt become inbuilt & stems from how parents refer to them & a person's upbringing. And if ĺsomeone posted a poll about it I'm sure a large number of people would agree. I think also when you get older & had your own children, the younger generation are seen as girls, as of a similar age to their own children, who are their children.

Where as peoples compassion gone. This must be really difficult watching your partner going through this. I hate bullying and work colleagues like this woman. It's bad practice and a toxic work place. You could get your partner to put a formal grevence in and that way it's all documented and to start and write a diary to document her behaviour.
Then follow that direction.
Hope this information helps.

This must be really difficult watching your partner going through this.
Yes, must be really difficult watching him on the phone for hours....

No compassion needed here, I wouldn't have said. More bafflement as to why the OP's partner sits nodding along on endless phonecalls where his colleague apparently does nothing but slag off other colleagues, rather than saying 'If there's no actual reason for this call, Samantha, I'm going to have to hang up and do some work'.