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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Two faced girl

68 replies

T52227 · 15/01/2025 08:42

Theres a girl at my partners work, who is constantly making fun of others behind their backs. Acting like she is better than them making them unhappy. As she is the only girl she seems to get humoured alot by others. I feel she needs it pointing out to her that everyone is just humouring her and she needs to realise that she is no better than anyone else and in fact they think the same of her. She seems to think she is above them. I feel her two faced behaviour is going back fire an cause more misery. She is on the phone to the boss and my partner tattling and making fun of people for hours, i do not think she can be trusted and i do not think it is fair on others. I do not know why she is not told to grow up or why she gets away with it. If she was a male she would be ignored. Should i put her back in her place with some home truths or let her carry on making life miserable for everyone?

OP posts:
BodyKeepingScore · 15/01/2025 09:20

Why on earth would you involve yourself with your partners colleague? Surely if he has a problem with her conduct he can raise it himself. This is truly none of your business.

BodenCardiganNot · 15/01/2025 09:21

She is on the phone to the boss and my partner tattling and making fun of people for hours

Are you concerned that there is something going on with your partner and this woman? Why is he happy to spend hours on the phone with her?

Maddy70 · 15/01/2025 09:24

Why is your partner telling you all this about a work colleague? You seem very over involved

Calua · 15/01/2025 09:30

She is on the phone to the boss and my partner tattling and making fun of people for hours

If he's sitting on the phone enabling her to do this for hours, he's no better. I'm surprised he has time to sit on the phone for so long, I definitely wouldn't have the time or inclination to do so at work, less so at home!

BunnyLake · 15/01/2025 09:31

I don’t understand why you say it’s your dp’s place of work (confusing everyone by your interference) and then mention later that you also sometimes work there. Why not open your thread with saying it’s also your place of work (albeit part time or casual). Your involvement would then have made a bit more sense.

IButtleSir · 15/01/2025 09:33

If she's under 18, she probably shouldn't be working there. If she's over 18, she's a woman.

Brefugee · 15/01/2025 09:34

if a business can be "destroyed" by a "girl" crying, she must be very powerful indeed.

Keep your beak out. And your BF needs to ignore and he and his colleagues need to either work properly/efficiently or look for new jobs.

SadlySally · 15/01/2025 09:37

T52227 · 15/01/2025 09:04

Fair enough. I will leave her to being sly and destroying the business and my partner will end up out of work away from it. Six people have left since she started poisoning everyone against everyone, two more are leaving. Your right its none of my business. Im just seeing it on the outside and seeing a long established family business get destroyed. Thanks all for your comments. I do not have issues with my partner talking to her. She is no threat to me other than the fact she is making it so nobody wants to work there any more and making everyone miserable, but the higher up people cannot see it. But yes your all correct ill grow up and leave her to it. The place is like a playground. Infact i think nursery children behave better than she does.

It can’t be all her fault if your partner and his boss listen to her for hours and find nothing wrong with what she’s saying or doing? If the entire business is like a nursery then it’s on the boss for not leading better. If the business flops because they’ve allowed this behaviour then again, that’s on them. Not the girl you take issue with.

Maybe your partner should have the back bone and say “That sort of discussion is not appropriate” or “Thank you but I don’t need to hear about my colleagues.”

But no, your partner is indulging her for hours. If his job is threatened by this in any way, on his head be it.

Joyfulspringflowers · 15/01/2025 09:38

Until you said you worked there sometimes I assumed the your partner was the source of all this information about the woman. It sounded as though he had mentontionitis about her and was anxious to deflect any talk about his relationship with her by painting her out to be a liability.
But if you are now saying you work there have you actually witnessed this woman's behaviour yourself?
If the information does come from your partner I would be concerned about his interest in her and the fact he apparently spends so much time on the phone to her.

Original poster
T52227 · 15/01/2025 09:46

ThatShyRoseViper · 15/01/2025 09:15

Do I smell a bit of jealousy? I think I do.

You wouldn’t be the least bit bothered if the woman in question was a craggy-faced 60 year old with hairs on her chin.

Your AIBU is actually ‘AIBU for being so extremely bothered by my partner spending a lot of time gossiping on the phone with a young thing he works with?’ And yes, you would be BU.

No i can assure you theres no jealousy. I didnt feel i needed to point out that theres nothing to be worried about, she could take out a wrecking ball and she does not have the glowing personality to make up for that. So no no concern. If it was a male acting how she does it wouldn’t be tolerated. But yes i see how it looks to everyone.

OP posts:
KarmenPQZ · 15/01/2025 09:49

‘Should I put her back in her place with some home truths’.

no you shouldn’t as it’s not your place. You sound quite as bad as her from what you’ve written.

and is she a girl as you say or do you mean woman?

Original poster
T52227 · 15/01/2025 09:58

Joyfulspringflowers · 15/01/2025 09:38

Until you said you worked there sometimes I assumed the your partner was the source of all this information about the woman. It sounded as though he had mentontionitis about her and was anxious to deflect any talk about his relationship with her by painting her out to be a liability.
But if you are now saying you work there have you actually witnessed this woman's behaviour yourself?
If the information does come from your partner I would be concerned about his interest in her and the fact he apparently spends so much time on the phone to her.

Ive seen it for myself, she treats all people equal to her like rubbish and brushes up her act when the three higher up are looking. He doesnt tell me much about it. He just says the place is not nice to work at any more. My post was abit pointless i guess. I just feel its unfair on the others she is making unhappy. Nobody is going to say anything about why they are leaving properly, because its going un noticed. I could see it the first time i met her and at that time i thought either the other staff are going to leave cos shes grinding them down or the boss would see it and sack her. But shes some how become his favourite that can do no wrong. Im not worried about her talking to my partner. I do think he could do with telling her he's not interested in hearing all her constant bad mouthing of other collegues, but he just wont upset nobody. Its not my problem at end of day i guess, guess i just do not like people being mean 😂 ill just leave it to be what it will be. Its changed my life her being there, because shes taking up time that i used to have to communicate with my partner. But he has to answer to her incase its actually work related and hes just a mug and doesnt say right this isnt work related goodbye - but then maybe thats on him and he is the problem. But she is no threat to my relationship. That was not how my post was supposed to come across. I should have just said person so i didnt come across as being jealous of someone thats just left school 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
T52227 · 15/01/2025 10:00

KarmenPQZ · 15/01/2025 09:49

‘Should I put her back in her place with some home truths’.

no you shouldn’t as it’s not your place. You sound quite as bad as her from what you’ve written.

and is she a girl as you say or do you mean woman?

Well yes maybe the term woman should be used. But shes barely out of school and still behaving like she is in preschool.

OP posts:
CynicalSunni · 15/01/2025 10:00

So if she doesnt have the 'glowing' personality how does she have so much power?

And you said the bosses dont know so that's how she is getting away with it?

I mean if your boyfriend refuses to do anything about her phone calls its gis own fault. If he doesnt want to do anythimg about it why should you?

Starlight1984 · 15/01/2025 10:16

T52227 · 15/01/2025 10:00

Well yes maybe the term woman should be used. But shes barely out of school and still behaving like she is in preschool.

Show quote history

As another poster has said, oh the irony.

BodenCardiganNot · 15/01/2025 10:18

Im not worried about her talking to my partner.

Yes. You are. And you are trying to deflect the blame onto the woman.

Wendolino · 15/01/2025 10:19

Sounds like she knows where the bodies are buried. Otherwise she wouldn't get away with it.

CeceliaImrie · 15/01/2025 10:21

None of your business mate.

ClickClickety · 15/01/2025 10:22

Maybe she’s sleeping with the boss. If no one has made a complaint about her uncollegiate behaviour or dished the dirt in exit interview there’s not much you can do except for making a complaint yourself or biting your tongue.

Original poster
T52227 · 15/01/2025 10:24

Wendolino · 15/01/2025 10:19

Sounds like she knows where the bodies are buried. Otherwise she wouldn't get away with it.

Yes i came to the conclusion along time ago she must have something on someone there…seems i put too much thought in though so good luck to them all.

OP posts:
Original poster
T52227 · 15/01/2025 10:38

ClickClickety · 15/01/2025 10:22

Maybe she’s sleeping with the boss. If no one has made a complaint about her uncollegiate behaviour or dished the dirt in exit interview there’s not much you can do except for making a complaint yourself or biting your tongue.

There has been many comments made implying that may be the case by others there. Ill just keep out of it. Turns out my partners enabling it and i am a jealous girlfriend from what im taking from the comments. So i will leave the others to find out for themselves and leave the circus, they will find new jobs. Always farming jobs about. Id like to think if someone was constantly going on about me that someone would have the guts to speak out and have my back. But i guess they are not my problem.

OP posts:
Nerdlings · 15/01/2025 10:40

She is on the phone to the boss and my partner tattling and making fun of people for hours

So your partner is also joining in. Why haven't you called him out on being two faced?

LittleGreenDragons · 15/01/2025 10:45

If your partner is sitting on the phone for hours with her then he is no better than this girl. In fact I would go so far as to say he is WORSE than she is because he is older and more experienced in the job and business and yet he encourages her. What a bastard he is, trying to get a young girl in trouble.

LTB!!!!

PierceMorgansChin · 15/01/2025 10:45

Imagine having a partner spineless enough to be on phone listening to some workplace BS from some nasty broad. Mind you, he seems to have a type

BunnyLake · 15/01/2025 12:07

I really think you need to explain the bit where she’s on the phone to your dp for hours ‘tattling on’. How is that happening exactly?