Scrutinise my day and help me become more energised!

[MrsMurphyIWish]

46, on HRT, low BMI, good diet.

Typical day:

Alarm: 4.30 for hour of exercise
6: breakfast and get kids up
7.15 leave house to drop DS at breakfast club and off to work
5: pick up DS from club, go home and eat dinner
6-7: marking whilst cooking dinner for next day
7-8: bed time for DS (autistic so needs a structured bedtime)

DH does breakfast club/after school on his day off (other days he leaves and gets back too late and takes DD to her extra curricular).

Saturdays is housework, marking and making sure kids do homework. Also fixtures for DD.

Sunday is crying in a dark room 😂

I’m pretty sure it’s menopause related but have been on HRT for over a year.

Any advice or is this a life of a menopausal woman with a pre- teen and teen?

I will come back to thread but have parent evening later so hopefully can check some responses beforehand!

”Fun times” are had in the holidays 😂

I'd be crying long before Sunday every week. You get energised from doing fun things, and you don't do anything fun.

Thanks again all. I didn’t really think my day was unusual for a working mum.

Come on. You don't really think most working mums get up at 4.30am??! And go to bed at 8.

Quality time would be in the holidays. Luckily (or not), DH is a teacher too so he also has long days and busy weekends.

To the poster who asked about housework - we divide chores between us and we do those on a Sat between helping kids with school work and doing fixtures.

Maybe not the time I wake up and go to bed - more the amount I do in a day.

Depending on what you do could you split the exercise so half hour at end of the day?

Is there scope for car sharing with other parents for the fixtures and that either gives you more time or DH and he could take some thing you are doing.

cleaner

Do you have any reasonable adjustments at work eg related to the physical effort? (I know may be limited as a teacher).

More protein, less coffee. Water. You must drink water. I don’t want to hear you don’t like it😁 Weak cordial if you must.

Why are you marking at weekends. Is there something you can do in the working day that means you can mark at school?

Being a teacher is crap. You all burn out eventually. Think about a change if career if it’s getting too much.

Quality time would be in the holidays. Luckily (or not), DH is a teacher too so he also has long days and busy weekends.

Holidays that are like 6-8 weeks apart? That is no life, your relationship must be suffering? How does your DH feel about you being in bed for most of the evening?

I’ve tried giving up caffeine before and didn’t see it through - I must be addicted and I’ve always convinced myself it doesn’t do any harm.

You're not the only self deceiver there.

I was only convinced by the evidence when I inadvertently gave it up at work (long story, annoying colleague). The effect on my sleep was measurable and crystal clear, even though I was technically getting the same amount of sleep.

It has withdrawal symptoms, but it's well worth pushing through and feeling alert, not wired.

And as PP say, get up later. There are important effects of real daylight on your circadian rhythm that you're missing by being up so long before dawn half the year. You're forcing your body to live off adrenaline, not react naturally to melatonin. And lepton and ghrelin regulation, and you immune system, rely on proper sleep!

I think you're knackered because you're working so much, getting up really early and not getting any family time or much of an evening after work. Could you try doing some of the mobility/physio work in the evening rather than the morning? And try not to mark at the weekends? And maybe swap a couple of cups to decaf 😉

It does seem like your life is very full of work and not much downtime and I say that as a fellow teacher and mum (although no Sen)!

I do work at home one or two evenings a week and very occasionally on a Sunday morning while the kids are at a class.
I go to the gym at 6am one day a week, the other 2 sessions I do after school before I pick the kids up. If DH is around (works away a lot) I'll run during the week too.

I also spend one day most weekends caring for a parent on palliative care and my husband works away during the week. I felt quite on the edge for a lot of last year, exhausted and like I wasn't coping. I had to set boundaries somehow, and make myself feel like I had a bit of a life! So for example having set times where I don't think about school, not working on my day off, reading or listening to a podcast every evening etc. I mean your life is different so it'll look different for you but hopefully you can find some kind of breathing space.

You have 2hr 45 in the morning from getting up to leaving the house. Are you sure there is no room there to get up a bit later? Maybe DC can do more for themselves (appreciate one is SN so may not be possible), maybe DH can do a bit more to help with DC before he leaves? Maybe you could cut the exercise by 15min? But mostly could you tighten up and rearrange the whole morning routine to get at least an extra half an hour - or an hour - in bed? I know you say this routine has worked for you for years, but you are getting older and clearly your body is telling you need to adjust.
I would also try more protein in the diet and swapping at least some of the coffees for decaffeinate.