Scrutinise my day and help me become more energised!

[MrsMurphyIWish]

46, on HRT, low BMI, good diet.

Typical day:

Alarm: 4.30 for hour of exercise
6: breakfast and get kids up
7.15 leave house to drop DS at breakfast club and off to work
5: pick up DS from club, go home and eat dinner
6-7: marking whilst cooking dinner for next day
7-8: bed time for DS (autistic so needs a structured bedtime)

DH does breakfast club/after school on his day off (other days he leaves and gets back too late and takes DD to her extra curricular).

Saturdays is housework, marking and making sure kids do homework. Also fixtures for DD.

Sunday is crying in a dark room 😂

I’m pretty sure it’s menopause related but have been on HRT for over a year.

Any advice or is this a life of a menopausal woman with a pre- teen and teen?

I will come back to thread but have parent evening later so hopefully can check some responses beforehand!

Yeah, I would say your problem is an excessively early morning and not enough calories, protein and carbs in your diet.

If you're a teacher you're on the go a lot, so are likely to need more calories than people slogging behind a desk 8 hours a day. Take into account the exercise (I'm unclear if this is calorie burning exercise or just a few stretches of a morning) and you're probably running at a deficit. That BMI seems far too low tbh.

I would get up later, just do 20-25 mins exercise and then eat more substantial meals. So you could have yoghurt, porridge oats and fruit in the morning (some people soak the oats in porridge overnight but I prefer not to), have a pasta salad, protein bar and fruit for lunch and then ensure the evening meal includes a carb element to it. You could always do another 20 mins of exercise in the evening if you felt the need.

Bedtime of around 9pm, 30 mins reading to wind down and asleep by 10pm.

You need even a tiny bit of me time -just doing stuff for other people even if your own DCs makes you sad ime.

i know there isnt really time but 10 mins quietly reading a good book?

4:30am to me is the middle of the night! Are you exercising every morning for an hour? Can you move two of them to a weekend and have a lie in? I’d say that was the culprit coupled with your job. I’m a teacher too and find I’m over stimulated every day - constant questions, people interrupting PPA, lack of breaks, work to take home. It’s exhausting…..and I don’t get up until 6am. I feel your pain!

Is this a joke?

Easy to say all this when you no caring responsibilities and not at all helpful to the OP.

You’re getting up in the middle of the night.
Try getting up in the morning instead.

True, that could be it, the emotional and physical strain.

My FIL is moving up to us tomorrow so I’m going to get them soon enough.

Not a joke, I’m just saying she is not - as everyone else seems to suggest - doing too much. I have 2DC at home but both neurotypical, so I should have extended that sentence. I will soon add an elderly parent to the mix and that may tip me over the edge. Op suggested it was old age, I say no.

No offence intended OP- clumsy in my part at best.

You lost me a bit at getting up at 4.30, but you don't appear to have any free time other than while you're asleep.

I'd be exhausted on that schedule too. I think some people just have more energy than others, so I wouldn't worry too much about the pp who bakes their own bread etc. With all the will in the world I couldn't do all that, nor would I want too! You probably need a bit more down time op, though I appreciate it would be hard to fit in

You are getting up in the middle of the night. You are drinking too much caffeine.

How can you expect to feel good?

Unless you are a professional swimmer, getting up at 4:30am five days a week to exercise is actually ridiculous. It's unnecessary and it's harmful. Are you punishing yourself for something?

Get up at 6, just do school run and go to work, and on Sundays, do some light stretches, a nice swim and have a sauna. Make it about well-being, not thrashing yourself.

Try going decaff. Reduce gradually, starting with the cups later in the day. If it's instant, mix half and half?

When you have some energy, start doing some weights twice a week- but not at 4:30am. 20 mins once midweek and 20 mins on a Saturday.

Your day is similar to mine although I get up at 5am for exercise rather than 4.30. I love my exercise and believe it benefits my mental health as well as physical health but I am starting to question the early starts. I’m 49, not on HRT but absolutely tired all the time. I’ve wondered if I should move the exercise to the evening but the problem is finding the time then with teens that want lifts to activities, sorting tea, often not home from work until 6 I have in the past found the evening exercise doesn’t work for me and if I do have time I spend all day talking myself out of it. Better to just leap out of bed and get it done! I don’t have the answers, full time work, teens, elderly parents - life is busy in middle age. I have a cleaner so that takes some pressure off, I always have a lie in at least once over the weekend, sometimes I batch cook to make life easier in the week or if I’m cooking a meal I always do extra and freeze a couple of portions so there is easy options available. And I always try and plan nice things to look forward to - whether it’s family time, meal out with friends, nice walks in the countryside. There has to be nice things in the diary not just daily grind !

Well, I wouldn't cope with a 4:30am start for exercise, but I see you say you're an early bird and you need the exercise for physio reasons. People get energised from different things - some people develop more energy after removing caffeine from their diet and drinking more water; others need more fresh air/exercise; others need to be social and others just need some quiet down time. If the issue is time, then I wouldn't waste Saturday on cleaning. Kids can do their homework on weeknights, cleaning can happen on Friday night (and everyone chips in, it shouldn't just be you doing everything) and Saturday can be family time as well as some time carved out for yourself just to read a book, meet a friend in a cafe, browse a bookstore - whatever is going to refill your cup, so to speak.

You need to ditch the coffees one by one. If you have 6, I'd cut out coffees 3 and 6 first, then work backwards through the day.

You might be sleeping, but it will be shit sleep. Eliminating caffeine after my morning drink turned my sleep from light fragmented sleep to getting the deep sleep needed for refreshment. Same hours, radically different effect.

OP, I came to this thread for some inspiration about other people's routines and how to get myself more energised. I'm in awe of you (and other PP)!! I'm a nurse working FT, I have 2DC (but they're NT) and no DP/DH. I don't know how you do it, particularly with the early morning exercise (that's what I dream of doing!!), whilst juggling 2DC (one ND) and FT job in teaching. Looking at your timetable for the day, I will definitely look to getting to sleep a lot earlier, and try to do early morning exercise (might be a bit tricky as I work 7-8).

I don't know if this will be much help, but I have used gadgets to make my life easier, reduce the mental load and to free up my time for other things. Robovacs to keep on top of house (floors are vacuumed and mopped daily), Instant Pot (for slow cooking and pressure cooking), breadmaker for bread, tumble drier...stuff like that really helps me. I prep and batch cook food one day a week (so breakfasts, lunches and main meals). All I then have to do on a morning or evening is just grab something from fridge/freezer, and defrost/reheat. Simple stuff like soups, salads, stews, curries, pasta sauces. I hardboil eggs once a week and stash in fridge to add to my salad for lunch. Often I will pre-cook a load of beef/chicken, divvy into portions and freeze. If I don't do that stuff, then I'm in a fix as I'd likely call in for a takeout.

It sounds like you're pretty much doing a lot of prep with cooking ahead for next day's meal. Is it worth you doubling up on stuff you cook, so there's enough for freezer portions? Maybe get to point where you don't then need to cook each day to shave off a bit of time?

Other than that, make sure you're getting all your correct nutrients, enough calories and drinking enough water. I'm a coffee drinker too, but have started subbing a couple of the coffees for peppermint or rooibos tea. I keep a water bottle with me and aim to drink 1-2 of those a day. I'm off work today and this thread reminded me to get some multivits down me :D

@TicTac80 thats so well organised. I always take my own breakfast and lunch to work, but generally make it each evening. You are next level prepped!

OP just another thought, I was getting really poorly over and over again in 2022. My vitamin d was borderline low, as was B12, and my ferritin was on the floor.

I now take vitamin D (4000IU with vitamin K), zinc, mag malate and folate each morning and mag glycinate in the evening. Plus I got my ferritin to over 100. I have stopped taking B12as I'm waiting for a retest and you need to be clear of it for 4 months before testing.

I am not as ill nearly as often these days. I've tried lions mane but didn't notice any difference, but maybe I didn't leave it as long as the PP.

@Lobstercrisps , I promise you, it took me a good few years to figure out the food prep thing to make my life easier! It's good though, because when I'm at work, I can just take something out for the kids to reheat for supper that evening (I don't get home til nearly 9pm). They have food flasks so will often have the leftovers for lunches the next day (they nuke the leftovers and pop in food flasks for school). If I didn't do that, I'd be cooking after I finished a long shift, and we'd all be eating late (or I can't be arsed with cooking and end up phoning for a take out). We're healthier as we always have some good balanced meals to hand.

When I don't keep on top of it, we end up calling for take out more, and eating more fast food, then feeling crap.

Not saying at all that food prep will solve OP's energy levels (or that she calls for take out etc!), but it might help a little!!

Alos...does anyone know if lions mane is ok to take with HRT? I'm tempted to try it but am on lenzetto and utrogestan.

I'm on HRT and lions mane is just a herb I think so fine with HRT.

When I was a full time working mother I used to oven-bake a tray of salmon and one of chicken at a time.

Made enough potatoes, rice, quinoa or pasta for 2-3 meals at a time.

Made up a large batch of salad dressing to last a week.

An oven full of banana bread or chocolate cake and freeze it.

Your "something and salad/veg" meals, is that "something" a decent portion of protein? No protein at breakfast isn't a good idea, especially after exercise.

I get up at 5am for gym also - it works for me. I don't have a child to consider but I do gave a busy job / long commute.

Deffo review your nutrition & up the protein - AND WATER!!

Re HRT - don't know what you're on, but prob up it. Mine helped for a while, then plateaued. As you go on you produce less of your own Oestrogen, so may need to top up. I do patches & add in gels as well. NICE prescribing guidelines are to tailor dose to symptoms.

Sounds like you need some fun just for you

can you change schools or subject as some are harder on the marking

can you drop a day ?

I need iron supplements and I take a ton if other menopause related pills

maybe get your hRT tweaked and antidepressants possibly ?

Exactly this. Work and kids can be a slog but there is nothing here that is fun or for you. Reading, cinema, seeing friends. It sounds joyless.

Can the school make any adjustments eg longer at lunch to help?

Thanks for all the honest and helpful replies. Haven’t got time to answer all separately - Parents evening starts at 4.30.

Think I’m going to book appointment with HRT nurse to discuss vitamins and see if can get a blood test maybe. My HRT doesn’t have testosterone in it.

I know it may seem like 4.30 is the middle of the night but I’ve always been an early riser and DA didn’t sleep through a night til he was 4 so I’m not sure if I can sleep longer tbh! This weekend I’ll try and exercise in the evening rather than morning and if I wake early it won’t impact work. I think “exercise” I used wrongly (?). Because of muscoskeletal issues I do a mix of jogging some days and Pilates others. I did used to be a runner but gave that up 2 years ago after a spell in hospital.

I’ve tried giving up caffeine before and didn’t see it through - I must be addicted and I’ve always convinced myself it doesn’t do any harm.

Thanks again all. I didn’t really think my day was unusual for a working mum.

@MrsMurphyIWish when do you spend time with your partner?

My day starts at 5:30 and I feel that's early enough.

Do you exercise 5 days a week for an hour? If so, can you drop it to 3-4days? Or do it for 30min instead.

Is your husband working weekends ? If not, can he help with housework chores?