I have a friend who I have known for many years. During that time she has been in one long term relationship that sadly ended in heartbreak from which she is carrying some emotional trauma, and since then a number of short term flings with, frankly the wrong kind of man. If I’m honest she has form for choosing the bad boys who break her heart and sadly it’s a very obvious pattern from the outset to everyone but her. I have tried to gently help her to realise this each time but she refuses to take any advice.
She is now closing in on 40 and the latest fling has ended (predictably) in disaster. She has been emotionally put through the wringer once again and she is in pain. This was another obvious one though. She liked him because he treated her ‘like a princess’. She said her heart melted when he insisted on putting her socks on for her in the morning?!?!? She likes to be pampered and showered with gifts, be waited on hand and foot, not have to lift a finger. Her words. But when the inevitable happens and he cheats or lies, she is heartbroken.
My belief is that if you seek to be put on a pedestal, this isn’t going to be a mature, equal relationship is it? It’s almost ironic that she is initially made to feel like they are somehow subservient to her because it’s really they who hold all the power in the relationship. She is seeking a fantasy life that doesn’t exist.
I am happily married and I would describe the power share in my relationship as 50/50. I would not want to be treated like a princess, and in fact the idea makes me feel nauseous and uncomfortable. I very much love my husband and I feel loved by him but I believe the ‘princess’ concept is a fallacy perpetuated by Disney movies in the 90s and at some point we all have to grow up and recognise that a healthy relationship is not a fairytale.
AIBU to think she is living in cloud cuckoo land and in the kindest possible way, she really needs to grow up?