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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fed up of people talking about my brothers relationship

82 replies

Zallous · 14/01/2025 17:30

My brother is 26 and recently got engaged. He lives in Australia, I live in the village we grew up in. I own a small Cafe so I interact with locals all the time.
He got engaged before New Year and every single day since I’ve had people asking about it.
My parents who also work for in the community posted about it on Facebook, they each have hundreds of friends and my mum posted about 20 pictures of them and a video
of the proposal (the couple haven’t even shared this online and my brother said it’s a bit weird she shared it but whatever).
This post adds fuel to it as the conversation can often go “Ohhh I hear little xxxx is engaged, fab news” “oh yeah it’s lovely very happy for him what can I get you” “10 minute rant where they describe how beautiful the proposal was and how she is a truly stunning girl etc etc”
It’s the same in my family, my mum has spoken about nothing since. I’m so fed up of it, like very good he’s engaged and I’m very happy for him but ffs it’s not exactly hard work to buy a ring and get on one knee, we are acting like he carried her up Everest!
It has got to the point where my mum is talking more about the engagement than her own grandchildren.

AIBU to be fed up and pissed off?

OP posts:
Agix · 14/01/2025 17:33

YABU. It's exciting news. People will be over it soon.

Are you jealous at all? I know that's a cliche question but it's a bit weird to be this bother about the chatter... Even hearing it every day, should be water off a ducks back really. Surely? People are just making conversation mostly, chatter isn't hurting anyone

TankFlyBossWalkJamNittyGrittyIAmFromAMidSizeCity · 14/01/2025 17:35

You sound very resentful.

They got engaged a couple of weeks back, people will be excited and talk about it a lot in the short term.

If you want to get really angry just wait until they are planning the wedding, people will be even more happy for them then.

PigInAHouse · 14/01/2025 17:35

People are just being kind.

UndermyShoeJoe · 14/01/2025 17:37

People like to talk about happy events especially in a small village type situation.

No need to piss on their chips.

One day it might be someone about you they are all brimming ear to ear about with happy cheer. Let them have this time. Not like you can stop it anyway without looking batshit.

OhMyGollyGoshGosh · 14/01/2025 17:37

Fuck me, there's been some mean spirited posts on MN but this one's firmly in the top 10 😳

Not sure why it's eating you OP, but whatever the reason I hope you make peace with it soon.

Fetburzswefg · 14/01/2025 17:37

Aww, this is just what small towns are like, isn’t it! Whenever I visit my parents in their village people stop me to chat about what my siblings etc are up to.

It will pass! Then reignite when the actual wedding happens, then pass again, then flare up if there is a baby. People are excited but they’ll move on to the next thing soon enough.

Catza · 14/01/2025 17:42

You have a cafe, which is a social enterprise. People like to be sociable. If you can't handle that, then you are in the wrong trade. Local people clearly think you are part of the community and take interest in your life which involves chatting about your family. Maybe a desk job in the nearest large city will be more up your alley.

EverybodyLTB · 14/01/2025 17:46

What a misery guts you are! Even describing people talking positively as ranting. I’ll assume that as you all live in the same village, your parents have big part in your children’s lives? I’d say that’s a lot more energy and commitment than excitement about something thousands of miles away. He’s grown up but he’s still their child and they obviously love him very much. Get a grip, you sound like a 7 year old.

Gummybear23 · 14/01/2025 17:47

Zallous · 14/01/2025 17:30

My brother is 26 and recently got engaged. He lives in Australia, I live in the village we grew up in. I own a small Cafe so I interact with locals all the time.
He got engaged before New Year and every single day since I’ve had people asking about it.
My parents who also work for in the community posted about it on Facebook, they each have hundreds of friends and my mum posted about 20 pictures of them and a video
of the proposal (the couple haven’t even shared this online and my brother said it’s a bit weird she shared it but whatever).
This post adds fuel to it as the conversation can often go “Ohhh I hear little xxxx is engaged, fab news” “oh yeah it’s lovely very happy for him what can I get you” “10 minute rant where they describe how beautiful the proposal was and how she is a truly stunning girl etc etc”
It’s the same in my family, my mum has spoken about nothing since. I’m so fed up of it, like very good he’s engaged and I’m very happy for him but ffs it’s not exactly hard work to buy a ring and get on one knee, we are acting like he carried her up Everest!
It has got to the point where my mum is talking more about the engagement than her own grandchildren.

AIBU to be fed up and pissed off?

You are jealous.

CrispyCrumpets · 14/01/2025 17:49

Carried her up Everest 😄 That's funny. Very weird that your Mum shared it. It's sweet that everyone is happy for them, but yes I can imagine it's a conversation that gets old fast when you hear it from every customer.

SometimesCalmPerson · 14/01/2025 17:49

I expect when she found out she was going to have grandchildren, she was equally as excited. And tbh, hearing about a lovely proposal is way more interesting than hearing about grandchildren.

OhMyGollyGoshGosh · 14/01/2025 17:57

CrispyCrumpets · 14/01/2025 17:49

Carried her up Everest 😄 That's funny. Very weird that your Mum shared it. It's sweet that everyone is happy for them, but yes I can imagine it's a conversation that gets old fast when you hear it from every customer.

No different to every customer talking about the weather 🤷‍♂️

Except I expect the OP isn't jealous of the weather.

Winterskyfall · 14/01/2025 17:59

Sounds like you are jealous that the conversation isn't about your children. Other things exist in the world, it's not all about your kids.

PigInAHouse · 14/01/2025 18:00

What’s the backstory that has led to you being so resentful of your brother?

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 14/01/2025 18:01

You sound very jealous and resentful. What’s really the issue? People like good news.

Daysgo · 14/01/2025 18:02

How jealous can you be? Not a nice way
to live.

Quitelikeit · 14/01/2025 18:03

In the words of Frozen

let it go, let it gooooo

MuchTheSameThanks · 14/01/2025 18:14

I would have thought you'd be used to making repetitive small talk... But getting engaged is actually a big deal-much more than knowing how to buy a ring and say a proposal. It's the fact that 2 people have decided to commit for ever. When you try and reduce it to a mere "anyone can buy a ring" kind of thing, it suggests you're somehow hostile to your brother and his gf/ fiancée ??
People are just trying to connect with you and they chat about it because they assume (wrongly, it would appear) it is important to you.

PeachState · 14/01/2025 18:27

It sounds like a combination of village life and people just making conversation.

Your mum is just happy for her son. I’d find it boring, like any topic, after a while, but just let it go.

It has got to the point where my mum is talking more about the engagement than her own grandchildren

Your children? If so, you do sound a bit jealous. Your mum is allowed to be excited and talk about other things.

RawBloomers · 14/01/2025 18:29

Surely most people are talking to you about it because it’s a way to connect with you? If you own a business in the village that lots of people use, they’re probably a lot keener on you than they are on your brother who buggered off to Australia. They’re just using his “news” to give them something to talk to you about because it’s not very British to keep coming in and telling you you’re the foundation the village is built on. If they actually thought he was the best thing ever, they’d be asking for his contact details and trying to build up a relationship with him.

Brefugee · 14/01/2025 18:31

guessing the now neglected Grandchildren are your DCs? missing the limelight, OP?
It will blow over. In the meantime try not to be a grouchy killjoy

PigInAHouse · 14/01/2025 18:35

Are you married/engaged OP?

Theunamedcat · 14/01/2025 18:41

Naaa I get it

I was ill one Christmas my sister helped 15 other people (family) watch MY child at an event (I couldn't attend because I was puking) after the first eight or nine people stopped me and messaged me about how GOOD she was with DD what a fantastic stand in she made for me how FANTASTIC she was for doing that for me and how well behaved my dd was for her....I got a bit waspish and asked just when was dd ever a handful? (She was actually well behaved at three) honestly they acted like she was the second coming like there was nothing else happening 😂 I can laugh now but at the time I was very much like you she didn't do anything fucking special (and it's the way they told me again and again the same thing too)

They will get over it....eventually

ERthree · 14/01/2025 18:46

Christ how bloody awful do you sound ?

NiftyKoala · 14/01/2025 18:47

Unless there is some huge back story you sound jealous.